(no subject)
So I believe that everyone who wants to be in entertainment has fantasized about being on Late Night with Conan O'brien. I sure have. But its not so much a fantasy as a premonition. I think the interview will consist of me plugging my new movie, which will be about me kicking lots of ass, but not in a shitty Vin Diesel way, but in a badass Sean Connery way. Then Conan and I will start to talk about my childhood, and he'll mention that I used to be a pretty big kid, unlike the sculpted, sexy man I will be on the show. I'll laugh and get all embarrassed (possibly blush. even though i'm a total badass I can still blush a little) and then Conan will pull up the picture of me, my mom, and Robin Williams. We'll laugh at what a big kid I was, and how I met Robin when I was 12, and now I work with him on our new movie involving a post apocalyptic world where raccoon people rule the earth. Then Conan will show the picture again and say "Is that your mother?" "yeah, thats my mama." I will respond. "Shes a babe, *growl*." Conan will say. I'll laugh a bit, then swiftly get up and kick Conan in the head. I'll walk off stage in complete silence, while Conan is lying on the ground bleeding profusely. It will skyrocket my career, because once again, everyone will realize how awesome and badass I am.