Healing
It's been a while, hasn't it? I intended to keep updating while working, but, well, that just didn't work out. I was on the first shift (8am to 5pm) for several weeks, and despite what anyone says, the morning is just not a time I should be moving around. Morning is for sleep. But now I'm on Second Shift (2pm to 11pm), finally, and things have been easier. So here I am.
First of all, I'd like to apologize to my friends for disappearing. I haven't been around, and I didn't even check this page for a couple weeks or so. So I'm not ignoring you guys. And now everything of substance that has happened is old news, and it wouldn't really be right to go through and comment on them all. So here's my word of apology.
In other news, it's August. That means one more month and it will be a full year since I discarded the power and was freed from its madness. The concept of using 'We' instead of 'I' or 'us' instead of 'me' is as alien to me now as breathing water. But for a good part of my life, that was how I thought, as naturally as thinking in English instead of Latin. It is still strange to be only one person, but I feel that this is the true me, and not the false suppression drugs and therapy would have inflicted upon me. This is who I am, with my once ragged, divided, and torn soul mended, remade, and cleansed.
The maladies that plagued me have healed... I am no longer bound to the torment of a defective digestive system. And though a much lesser and more recent agony, my gall bladder also seems to have stabilized. How these two things are possible, I could not say. But in addition to these things, the malaise and weakness that had all but crippled me have vanished; though it is still difficult to muster the desire to clean when I do not deem it necessary, it is not impossible, and my body has steadily gained strength, to the point now where I am quite powerful, and regularly lift weights and walk for miles.
I had a long dissertation here about my life as it is now. Suffice it instead to say that life should be lived with a smile. We are only as alone as we choose to be, and though I have drifted far and away from the last of my friends, I do not feel lonely. I miss you all terribly, but you need not worry for me. The sun shines once more upon the road I walk, and God goes with me. I should have died last year, and in a way, part of me did. But every day since that time has been a blessing, and a second chance at the life I should have lived.
And so I walk with a hope I had not thought possible. My dreams now are of a house and a business and relaxation under the summer sky, and it is a dream that no longer seems so far away. So be well, my friends, and remember that though I may not be here, I have not forgotten you. All that I ask is that you do not forget me, even if I am not the man you once knew. And remember that it is never too late to turn back, even if all seems lost. The light will find you, if you believe. Be at peace, and know that I am here if you need me.
First of all, I'd like to apologize to my friends for disappearing. I haven't been around, and I didn't even check this page for a couple weeks or so. So I'm not ignoring you guys. And now everything of substance that has happened is old news, and it wouldn't really be right to go through and comment on them all. So here's my word of apology.
In other news, it's August. That means one more month and it will be a full year since I discarded the power and was freed from its madness. The concept of using 'We' instead of 'I' or 'us' instead of 'me' is as alien to me now as breathing water. But for a good part of my life, that was how I thought, as naturally as thinking in English instead of Latin. It is still strange to be only one person, but I feel that this is the true me, and not the false suppression drugs and therapy would have inflicted upon me. This is who I am, with my once ragged, divided, and torn soul mended, remade, and cleansed.
The maladies that plagued me have healed... I am no longer bound to the torment of a defective digestive system. And though a much lesser and more recent agony, my gall bladder also seems to have stabilized. How these two things are possible, I could not say. But in addition to these things, the malaise and weakness that had all but crippled me have vanished; though it is still difficult to muster the desire to clean when I do not deem it necessary, it is not impossible, and my body has steadily gained strength, to the point now where I am quite powerful, and regularly lift weights and walk for miles.
I had a long dissertation here about my life as it is now. Suffice it instead to say that life should be lived with a smile. We are only as alone as we choose to be, and though I have drifted far and away from the last of my friends, I do not feel lonely. I miss you all terribly, but you need not worry for me. The sun shines once more upon the road I walk, and God goes with me. I should have died last year, and in a way, part of me did. But every day since that time has been a blessing, and a second chance at the life I should have lived.
And so I walk with a hope I had not thought possible. My dreams now are of a house and a business and relaxation under the summer sky, and it is a dream that no longer seems so far away. So be well, my friends, and remember that though I may not be here, I have not forgotten you. All that I ask is that you do not forget me, even if I am not the man you once knew. And remember that it is never too late to turn back, even if all seems lost. The light will find you, if you believe. Be at peace, and know that I am here if you need me.