happiness is just a gash away.

[forbiddenxlovex]

ok, so the only real update is that i'm really stupid and make the most rediculously dumb decisions in the whole wide world sometimes and i mess up just when things are going good. i have this thing where i always have to mess things up. i hate it! i hate myself for doing it. ughhh. i really don't know what else to say, i just get so mad at myself and i just don't know what to do about it. and i have no idea how at the end of the day i still have people that care about me.

the only other news is that i love David, and i don't deserve him at all and i have no idea how i would be surviving without him right now, i really don't.