Parenting Idea...
K... aside from the seperation anxiety part I think this has Lorelai nailed... *scuttles off to make some checklists*
Q The problem is our toddler. He is such a handful! I cannot take him out in public because of constant temper tantrums. If I don't put him in the stroller, he refuses to hold my hand or stay with me. If I put him in the stroller, he screams and struggles without stop. If I carry him, I am quickly worn out, because he continues to struggle.
When I get things for him at home, he suddenly doesn't want them anymore. For instance, juice; he'll pour it out, then wants more. I don't give in, but then it's more screaming and crying. He doesn't sleep well and can't put himself to sleep. I must hold him to sleep. Regardless of where he sleeps, he wakes up at least twice during the night, and often, more than that.
He still experiences severe separation anxiety during my brief absences. The only thing that has gone relatively smoothly since he was born was potty training! I maintain a positive demeanor and attitude around him, but I'm at a complete loss as to how to deal with these aspects of his personality. I'm exhausted and frustrated.
Advice?
A Sounds like your three-year-old is going through a stage of separation anxiety and extreme negativity. Start with some daytime discipline, and perhaps that will carry over into some nighttime peacefulness. Read The Discipline Book, where you will find helpful information on overcoming negativity.
Here are some additional ways you can foster more cooperation during the day. When you're going out, say shopping, explain to your toddler the behavior you expect -- that you expect a "yes" answer when you ask him to do something. Tell him what's going to happen during the day, so that he knows the daily plan. Create a reward chart. He gets a sticker on the chart for a yes or cooperation. After a day of yeses, he gets a social reward. Your goal is to teach him that his life will be easier and happier when he has a yes day.
Give him jobs around the house, so that he feels important and develops a sense of responsibility -- and appropriately praise him for jobs well done. Bright, creative children become more positive when they're given jobs to do.
Also try a nighttime reward chart. When he "puts himself back to sleep," he gets a sticker on his chart. Eventually you can stop the reward charts, as the positive attitude from his cooperation becomes its own reward
This was written by Dr. Sears for those of you who are interested.
Q The problem is our toddler. He is such a handful! I cannot take him out in public because of constant temper tantrums. If I don't put him in the stroller, he refuses to hold my hand or stay with me. If I put him in the stroller, he screams and struggles without stop. If I carry him, I am quickly worn out, because he continues to struggle.
When I get things for him at home, he suddenly doesn't want them anymore. For instance, juice; he'll pour it out, then wants more. I don't give in, but then it's more screaming and crying. He doesn't sleep well and can't put himself to sleep. I must hold him to sleep. Regardless of where he sleeps, he wakes up at least twice during the night, and often, more than that.
He still experiences severe separation anxiety during my brief absences. The only thing that has gone relatively smoothly since he was born was potty training! I maintain a positive demeanor and attitude around him, but I'm at a complete loss as to how to deal with these aspects of his personality. I'm exhausted and frustrated.
Advice?
A Sounds like your three-year-old is going through a stage of separation anxiety and extreme negativity. Start with some daytime discipline, and perhaps that will carry over into some nighttime peacefulness. Read The Discipline Book, where you will find helpful information on overcoming negativity.
Here are some additional ways you can foster more cooperation during the day. When you're going out, say shopping, explain to your toddler the behavior you expect -- that you expect a "yes" answer when you ask him to do something. Tell him what's going to happen during the day, so that he knows the daily plan. Create a reward chart. He gets a sticker on the chart for a yes or cooperation. After a day of yeses, he gets a social reward. Your goal is to teach him that his life will be easier and happier when he has a yes day.
Give him jobs around the house, so that he feels important and develops a sense of responsibility -- and appropriately praise him for jobs well done. Bright, creative children become more positive when they're given jobs to do.
Also try a nighttime reward chart. When he "puts himself back to sleep," he gets a sticker on his chart. Eventually you can stop the reward charts, as the positive attitude from his cooperation becomes its own reward
This was written by Dr. Sears for those of you who are interested.