(no subject)
So the last few days I have been in a horrible mood. At least with each day it has been getting a little better. Today I guess isn't horrible...but still stressing. I am over worked right now. I mean with being in class 15 hours a week; working 40 plus a week; and bring things home to work on, I just haven't had time. I am stressed and frustrated and just down right irritated. The end of the semester is coming up...I swore the paper for my poetry class was due Thursday, but found out it was due today. What a dumbass...I have been working my ass off on it this afternoon. I will have it done by Thursday and hopefully she will still allow me to turn it in for 5% off. That is what it said online. I have 4 pages out of 12 done. I just needed a break from it, I needed to leave it so I could regain my focus. If that wasn't enough, with the major inspection coming up mid April at work everyone is in shitty moods. I at least have Drive Thru procedures to work on, so that is easy.
I need to just forget about work and school for a few days and have a social life. The family life has been sucking ass once again...really bad. I just need to get away from it all I think.
I was gonna go get apartment applications on Monday morning before work...yeah, I woke up later than I wanted to, then thought I was in earlier than what I was. Dumbass again.
I still have banking to do today. And I should pay off my car insurance. Yeah...god I am so stressed. If I leave to do that stuff I know I won't come back here, which means that I will not work on that paper any more than I did today. Maybe that is what I need. All I know is that I have no motivation for this anymore. I use to love work and that, but the last week or so I have not wanted to go. I am probably just tired and this is my body telling me to slow down. It will slow down soon enough. I hope.
This headache might be because I haven't ate today. But that will have to wait till I am ready to leave campus. Like I said before, if I leave now I wont come back.
Urgh...just remembered...I also have to research an animal for biology. I dont know which one...I have it wrote down in my bookbag. Then there is stopping at work to get forms so I can start my paper work for communication day.
I am 21 years old...why the hell can't I remember all this junk? Why can't I be organized? There was a time where that was my key trait. Back in high school I was the queen of organization. I was awesome at paying attention and taking notes. And memorization...hell that was like a second nature to me. So what has changed in the last 3 years? A lot actually. Too much to be honest. But where it all started, I am not sure. I use to be great at organizing my time, and not get so burnt out. And don't blame management, this probably started happening before that. College. That is something that might be it. But maybe it is just me. Maybe what I was going for in high school isn't what I am going for now. Maybe I am here wasting money and time when I will never use it. I keep telling myself to get through it for at least a back up, but why would I want to? All it is doing is putting me further and further in the hole. I haven't started living life. Not yet. And that pisses me off somewhat. I mean at work I felt like I wasn't hiding from life, which is part of the reason I liked it. But the last week or so I have felt like everyone is seeing me as a joke or something. Like they can walk all over me because I am too nice. Well one girl found that out last night. I was tired of that shit, and if I knew Steve wouldn't have cared if I sent her ass home I would have. I am new to this management shit, but I will get the hang of it. And if I end up not liking it, then I will just end up asking to be demoted. It is that simple. I would love to be a crew-trainer. And I know if I did go and ask for a demotion, Jean would try to change my mind. Probably for the same reason all the other manager's would and that it would affect their raises and shit. It wouldn't be because they think I am a good part of the team. Although they are starting to really show that I am not just good at drive thru. I would like more floor time I think. I have been talking them into grill time a lot lately, but that is because I have been working with Glenn and Glenn, well he is easy to manipulate....Wow...that really sounds bad. It is true though. I can get my way with Glenn. Simple as that. If I want to run floor I know he would let me take it. If i want position a certain way he would listen and most likely do it. I talk him into grill all the time...it wouldn't be that hard. Especially since he shows up right at the time he needs to clock in, he never has a floor plan done and never even knows when he has floor.
I put the eyebrow back in. I just missed it too much. I really needed it in. I know I will have to take it out tomorrow afternoon, but I will worry about that tomorrow. No need to fret about something you have no control over. Right?
I hear that it is suppose to be in the 60's tomorrow, and by Friday in the 70's. We will see. Doesn't matter to me really, I am working 2 to 10 tomorrow....11 to 7 both Friday and Saturday. Thursday I have off, but that involves classes all day. Yuck. Yes, I should be in class now. I know this. But this paper really needs to get done. Why am I on lj then? Well I was blocked and I have to get rid of that block. Or part of that block. Man, did you know that this library has nothing on Louise Gluk? That is kind of bogus. If you didn't know, that is who my paper is on. In an half hour I did get 4 pages...but nothing since then. I know it still needs to be polished and edited and that. But that was a really good start. Hope that I can finish it. 1/3 of the way completed! I like thinking of it like that.
Urgh...another thing I have to do...I have to get my major signed so I can actually registar for classes. Yuck...I do have this all wrote down...I did that today before biology. But that paper being due earlier threw me off. And, if you wanted to know, my schedule for this week is 2 pages long. So much to do, and I am gonna have a melt down. I would love to be like "wow lets rent movies" or "wow lets shoot pool" or something, ya know. But I can't. I haven't been able to for a long time, and I am not sure when the next time I will be able to. Hahaha, I was typing faster than I was thinking. That is sad. I lost my train of thought is what happened so when I was trying to type I thought I wasn't as far as I really was. I think I am gonna get carpol tunnel for all the typing I do. IF that is how you spell it, if not I really don't care today.
About four weeks ago or so I got burned by the Filet Steamer. Icky....it looks horrible. Man, I have so many burns. So many bruises as well. It looks like I did it on purpose or something. That or I am just a clutzy dumbfuck. One of the two. The tattoo looks good. I need to do something with the hair though. Should call DC and see if she would dye it for me or something. I have the hair dye, but I was trying to get it to grow up naturally. I dont think I can stand this blonde anymore though. It needs cut as well. Damn I just need a huge makeover or something.
I need to get a hold of Krys. I have some questions for her. Nothing bad or anything, just things I would like to talk to her about. Damn it is cold in this library. I dont know why they are kepeing it so cold. It is warmer outside than in here. Or it was when I was out there at 10:30. OMG! It is almost 4? Where did the day go? I swear if you gave me 10 more hours in the day I would still complain I don't have enough time for everything.
I lost track at where I was at in here....maybe I will go for a walk, make a call, and grab something to eat. Or maybe I will end up racking my brain on this stupid pointless paper.
I need to just forget about work and school for a few days and have a social life. The family life has been sucking ass once again...really bad. I just need to get away from it all I think.
I was gonna go get apartment applications on Monday morning before work...yeah, I woke up later than I wanted to, then thought I was in earlier than what I was. Dumbass again.
I still have banking to do today. And I should pay off my car insurance. Yeah...god I am so stressed. If I leave to do that stuff I know I won't come back here, which means that I will not work on that paper any more than I did today. Maybe that is what I need. All I know is that I have no motivation for this anymore. I use to love work and that, but the last week or so I have not wanted to go. I am probably just tired and this is my body telling me to slow down. It will slow down soon enough. I hope.
This headache might be because I haven't ate today. But that will have to wait till I am ready to leave campus. Like I said before, if I leave now I wont come back.
Urgh...just remembered...I also have to research an animal for biology. I dont know which one...I have it wrote down in my bookbag. Then there is stopping at work to get forms so I can start my paper work for communication day.
I am 21 years old...why the hell can't I remember all this junk? Why can't I be organized? There was a time where that was my key trait. Back in high school I was the queen of organization. I was awesome at paying attention and taking notes. And memorization...hell that was like a second nature to me. So what has changed in the last 3 years? A lot actually. Too much to be honest. But where it all started, I am not sure. I use to be great at organizing my time, and not get so burnt out. And don't blame management, this probably started happening before that. College. That is something that might be it. But maybe it is just me. Maybe what I was going for in high school isn't what I am going for now. Maybe I am here wasting money and time when I will never use it. I keep telling myself to get through it for at least a back up, but why would I want to? All it is doing is putting me further and further in the hole. I haven't started living life. Not yet. And that pisses me off somewhat. I mean at work I felt like I wasn't hiding from life, which is part of the reason I liked it. But the last week or so I have felt like everyone is seeing me as a joke or something. Like they can walk all over me because I am too nice. Well one girl found that out last night. I was tired of that shit, and if I knew Steve wouldn't have cared if I sent her ass home I would have. I am new to this management shit, but I will get the hang of it. And if I end up not liking it, then I will just end up asking to be demoted. It is that simple. I would love to be a crew-trainer. And I know if I did go and ask for a demotion, Jean would try to change my mind. Probably for the same reason all the other manager's would and that it would affect their raises and shit. It wouldn't be because they think I am a good part of the team. Although they are starting to really show that I am not just good at drive thru. I would like more floor time I think. I have been talking them into grill time a lot lately, but that is because I have been working with Glenn and Glenn, well he is easy to manipulate....Wow...that really sounds bad. It is true though. I can get my way with Glenn. Simple as that. If I want to run floor I know he would let me take it. If i want position a certain way he would listen and most likely do it. I talk him into grill all the time...it wouldn't be that hard. Especially since he shows up right at the time he needs to clock in, he never has a floor plan done and never even knows when he has floor.
I put the eyebrow back in. I just missed it too much. I really needed it in. I know I will have to take it out tomorrow afternoon, but I will worry about that tomorrow. No need to fret about something you have no control over. Right?
I hear that it is suppose to be in the 60's tomorrow, and by Friday in the 70's. We will see. Doesn't matter to me really, I am working 2 to 10 tomorrow....11 to 7 both Friday and Saturday. Thursday I have off, but that involves classes all day. Yuck. Yes, I should be in class now. I know this. But this paper really needs to get done. Why am I on lj then? Well I was blocked and I have to get rid of that block. Or part of that block. Man, did you know that this library has nothing on Louise Gluk? That is kind of bogus. If you didn't know, that is who my paper is on. In an half hour I did get 4 pages...but nothing since then. I know it still needs to be polished and edited and that. But that was a really good start. Hope that I can finish it. 1/3 of the way completed! I like thinking of it like that.
Urgh...another thing I have to do...I have to get my major signed so I can actually registar for classes. Yuck...I do have this all wrote down...I did that today before biology. But that paper being due earlier threw me off. And, if you wanted to know, my schedule for this week is 2 pages long. So much to do, and I am gonna have a melt down. I would love to be like "wow lets rent movies" or "wow lets shoot pool" or something, ya know. But I can't. I haven't been able to for a long time, and I am not sure when the next time I will be able to. Hahaha, I was typing faster than I was thinking. That is sad. I lost my train of thought is what happened so when I was trying to type I thought I wasn't as far as I really was. I think I am gonna get carpol tunnel for all the typing I do. IF that is how you spell it, if not I really don't care today.
About four weeks ago or so I got burned by the Filet Steamer. Icky....it looks horrible. Man, I have so many burns. So many bruises as well. It looks like I did it on purpose or something. That or I am just a clutzy dumbfuck. One of the two. The tattoo looks good. I need to do something with the hair though. Should call DC and see if she would dye it for me or something. I have the hair dye, but I was trying to get it to grow up naturally. I dont think I can stand this blonde anymore though. It needs cut as well. Damn I just need a huge makeover or something.
I need to get a hold of Krys. I have some questions for her. Nothing bad or anything, just things I would like to talk to her about. Damn it is cold in this library. I dont know why they are kepeing it so cold. It is warmer outside than in here. Or it was when I was out there at 10:30. OMG! It is almost 4? Where did the day go? I swear if you gave me 10 more hours in the day I would still complain I don't have enough time for everything.
I lost track at where I was at in here....maybe I will go for a walk, make a call, and grab something to eat. Or maybe I will end up racking my brain on this stupid pointless paper.