(no subject)
These last few days have been really depressing yet really fun at the same time. I get get my mind off him. I can't help but wonder. It kinda hurts, but then again I don't really know how to feel.
The concert was kick ass. i saw some interesting things. I got smacked in the ass. Told I was hott as hell. The lead singer to one of the bands gave me free tickets to another show. The suite we stayed in was amazing it was bigger than the apartment I live in!
I'm really lonely. I'm just a hopeless romantic. That song from bouncing souls was defintely written for/ about me. lol I think my heart being broken is just setting in and I realize just how stupid I am/was. I wish a lot of things could be different. I learned a lot about my self. I'm ready to move on to better things. But oh what I would give for just one more night, one more kiss, being held in his arms one more time.
My birthday is in 5 days and if this keeps up, it is going to turn out to be another shitty ass birthday to add to the long list.
I'm tired of fuckin working all the time. Why can't parents just fucking help you out. They can see that your struggling and still dont do a damn thing.
Once one thing in your life goes down, so does everything else. And not to mention that it makes the good parts seem just as bad. Everything around you is rotten. Dead. Cold. Empty.
You smile just so everyone around you wont see how badly you are hurting. Everyone thinks I am always happy and always smiling. I wish it were true. I wish i could back. Oh how I wish.
Seeing him was probably a mistake. A big one. I miss him. I don't miss what we had. I just miss him. I think that is worse. Right? I mean usually you here the I just miss what we had and people are longing for someone, anyone, to hold them in their arms again. I don't just want anyone.
I dunno. I'm torn.
WHEN IT RAINS, IT FUCKIN POURS.
The concert was kick ass. i saw some interesting things. I got smacked in the ass. Told I was hott as hell. The lead singer to one of the bands gave me free tickets to another show. The suite we stayed in was amazing it was bigger than the apartment I live in!
I'm really lonely. I'm just a hopeless romantic. That song from bouncing souls was defintely written for/ about me. lol I think my heart being broken is just setting in and I realize just how stupid I am/was. I wish a lot of things could be different. I learned a lot about my self. I'm ready to move on to better things. But oh what I would give for just one more night, one more kiss, being held in his arms one more time.
My birthday is in 5 days and if this keeps up, it is going to turn out to be another shitty ass birthday to add to the long list.
I'm tired of fuckin working all the time. Why can't parents just fucking help you out. They can see that your struggling and still dont do a damn thing.
Once one thing in your life goes down, so does everything else. And not to mention that it makes the good parts seem just as bad. Everything around you is rotten. Dead. Cold. Empty.
You smile just so everyone around you wont see how badly you are hurting. Everyone thinks I am always happy and always smiling. I wish it were true. I wish i could back. Oh how I wish.
Seeing him was probably a mistake. A big one. I miss him. I don't miss what we had. I just miss him. I think that is worse. Right? I mean usually you here the I just miss what we had and people are longing for someone, anyone, to hold them in their arms again. I don't just want anyone.
I dunno. I'm torn.
WHEN IT RAINS, IT FUCKIN POURS.