(no subject)

[fora_da_poeira]

see me--
standing here, looking after you.
seeing you.
watching your back as it grows
smaller and softer and simply farther away.
as it disappears from me and
from this and
from everything i thought it would be,
from all the things i thought it would save me from.
forgive me,
but i expected so much more.
from you,
from this life.
but all i have to show for all this pain
is just more pain.
infinite amounts of horror that i
could never show you.
and i never wanted to.
no, i never wanted to be the one
to draw attention to it.
i just wanted you to know it was there
and save me from it.
but instead,
you looked into my eyes,
and you left.
and all i could do was watch you
as you walked away.
you never looked back.
and the image of your back shrinking
into the distance
is one that will be burned into my memory
for all of eternity.

too bad you never said goodbye.