er drabble archiving.
It's almost 4 AM, so clearly deciding to archive all of my ER drabbling in one place was a wise decision. I actually ended up archiving in backward chronological order (sort of), which is almost funny because I can see how my writing developed over time.
It's been far too long since I've written anything ER. Then again, I haven't watched an episode since somewhere in Season 11.
TITLE: Thinking Over
WORDS: 117
RATING: G/PG
SPOILERS: I'm going to assume you've all seen TWBD by now?
You swore you'd never wear that pink dress again.
Of course, accompanying one of the richest men in Chicago to an elite family function hadn't quite appeared on your social calendar when you made that promise.
You replay the previous evening's events in your mind: the flowers, the limo, the dancing. Your mind races, and you absent-mindedly rub your cheek where he kissed you when he brought you home. Always the gentleman, he insisted upon walking you to your door.
Twelve hours ago you thought you had everything planned out; you knew everything that you wanted. Now you realize that maybe you were wrong.
But, after all, you did swear you'd never wear that pink dress again.
//
TITLE: Bitter Perception
WORDS: 93
CHARACTER: Carter/Abby. Primarily Carter.
SPOILERS: I suppose you could say Season 10.
You feel the bitter sting of sunlight before you even open your eyes. Each wavelength pummels you from a different direction, all the pinks and purples and yellows of a brilliant sunrise. You shut your eyes, hiding from the colors.
You fight the light with darkness.
Elsewhere she stands in awe, the warm morning air a welcome sign of late summer.
She, in turn, fought her darkness with light.
Perception holds a strange and beautiful secret: the revelation of a time when what was lost is found, and what was found is lost.
//
TITLE: Bright Lights
WORDS: 105
CHARACTERS: Carter/Abby
SPOILERS: Season 10-ish
It's nearly midnight when you find her gazing out over the city, sipping her coffee in solitude. You continue until you’re standing just behind her - close but never touching. Only inches away and still so far out of reach.
Your inability to break the silence speaks volumes of anger without absolution. Mistakes and misdirection telling of words left out - and words better left unsaid.
Once too early, now too late.
The bright lights of the city below clash violently against a darkness you cannot see.
There was a time when you would have seen her tears - even as they're masked by the bitter November rain.
//
TITLE: Autumn Leaves
WORDS: 100 (Go me!)
CHARACTERS: Carter/Abby
SPOILERS: Not really, I guess S9. But still, not really.
Autumn came early that year.
It fell suddenly, descended upon him unexpectedly. One morning he simply woke to find every vestige of summer vanished overnight.
His world was ablaze with the changing color, each gold and red and brown akin to the mystery he saw in her eyes. It was captivating, her moods more volatile than the seasons, the dark moments every bit as luminous as the light. She fascinated him, even in those moments when her color varied only in shades of grey.
Cautiously, carefully, he let go.
And as autumn breeze gave way to winter, she blew away.
//
TITLE: Partly Cloudy, Chance of Rain
WORDS: 179 (ooops?)
CHARACTERS: Carter/Abby
SPOILERS: If you haven't seen The Letter by now, I don't have anything to say to you anyway.
"I've got a secret," she announces casually, joining him in the ambulance bay.
"Oh, really? Anything you'd care to share with the class, Miss Lockhart?"
"I might need convincing."
"I'd oblige, but I'm afraid that might not be very professional of me ..."
"Are you suggesting something, Dr. Carter?"
"I wouldn't dream of it."
He feels her gaze tilt towards him as her laughter dies out. He expects another retort, and then ...
"I went for me, too, you know."
The silence that follows is inconsequential. Just that she said it. She said it and he heard it and she can't take it back. She doesn't want to, either.
Nothing else matters.
"It's supposed to rain today," he says finally. Before he realizes what's happened, she's laughing and he's laughing with her. Her laughter is infectious and distracting as his thoughts drift miles from the ambulance bay.
"You guys need ...?" Lydia's offer of help falls short with curiosity. "What is so funny?"
Abby's eyes sparkle, Carter waits. It's up to her now.
"Just aquatic mischief."
A secret, indeed.
//
TITLE: Angles & Variations
WORDS: 101
CHARACTERS: Carter, Abby
SPOILERS: The Letter.
She sits on the pavement like the grand ruins of an ancient temple. Fractured and fragmented - but beautiful.
More intoxicating than the bitter liquid that fills her system, she is a glossy photograph in shades of grey. Variations of black and white as vivid as bright reds and golds.
It's fairytale, but it plays out as nightmare. And she, a whirlwind. Maybe she spins around you, and maybe she doesn't. But her eyes bear into yours, and you think you know. You don't - not really.
But in the end, there's only her.
//
TITLE: Open Wounds
WORDS: 115
CHARACTERS: Abby, Carter (implied)
SPOILERS: Through 10.22
You were right. You always knew you were right.
You smiled at me - you smiled and told me you never had a doubt in your mind. The piece of paper I held in my hands was tangible proof that I have become the person you always knew I was, the woman I never thought I could be.
In that moment, I wonder what I might say if you ever asked me for a reason - for the catalyst that resulted in my sudden changes. To lie would be an impossible feat. But could I bring myself to tell you the truth?
Now, when my wounds have finally begun to heal - and yours are still so fresh.
//
TITLE: Empty Comfort
WORDS: 101
CHARACTERS: Abby-centric. Kerry is also sort of there.
SPOILERS: Season 10
You want to offer more than empty words and hackneyed promises, but you don’t know how to comfort a woman who has lost everything. You tried once before, you drowned her in alcohol and reverted her to escapism. You failed, and she floundered.
So you say the only thing you can. The words sound trite in your head, even more so spoken aloud.
You see the gleam of sadness in her eyes, and you feel your heart breaking. For her - and for yourself.
For everything you lost, everything you felt you had to give up, and everything you let yourself become.
//
TITLE: Tug-of-War
WORDS: 122
CHARACTERS: Sam, Luka (implied)
SPOILERS: Season 10
You woke up early this morning, kept yourself busy. You refuse to admit that you miss him.
It’s a tug-of-war, this battle you’re fighting. He pulls; you pull back. He pulls; you pull harder.
You know the game better than he does.
It doesn’t matter who’s on the other end as long as your son stays on your side.
You child is your excuse to run, run before you get too close.
It’s the same thing every time, and you won’t lose. You won’t let yourself, even when losing might be the best possible outcome. You know it’s too dangerous.
So you keep yourself busy. You refuse to admit that you miss him.
This is the first time you’ve ever looked back.
//
TITLE: Only Moment
WORDS: 132
CHARACTERS: Carter
SPOILERS: Through 10.21
It was all I ever really wanted - to be a father, to be the kind of father mine never was.
I'm watching him now. He's perfect. And yet I'll never get to take him home. I'll never watch him open his eyes, see him smile, hear him laugh. He's perfect. And yet he won't have his first words or take his first steps. But still, he's my son. He's perfect.
I became a father and lost a child all in one day, and the only answer they can give me is bad luck.
Maybe all Carters are doomed to lose their first child.
So I'll cling desperately to this moment - the first and last I'll ever spend with him.
It's all I have left now - just memories, and a thousand what ifs.
//
TITLE: Impossible Situation
WORDS: 129
CHARACTERS: Susan
SPOILERS: Season 2
It's only been a week since Chloe abandoned them, but it feels more like a lifetime. It takes all she has just to keep reminding herself that her sister is really gone.
Chloe failed her once again, leaving an impossible situation in her wake.
She won't let herself sleep, countless suggestions of ways to juggle an infant and finish her residency racking her brain, each new solution more implausible than the last.
Her thoughts are only interrupted by the baby's cry in the next room. Glad for the distraction, she attends to the one problem she can fix.
And with one look at Susie's innocent face, she knows that she can't give up just yet.
"We're gonna be alright," she croons to the baby. "We're gonna be just fine."
//
TITLE: Defeat
WORDS: 169
CHARACTERS: Anna
SPOILERS: Season 4
He's gone - again, and this time she knows he's not coming back.
How could she have been so stupid? She gave up everything - her job, her friends. She built a life for herself in Chicago. For the first time in a long time, she had been happy. Then he came back, convincing her that he'd changed, that he could be everything she deserved.
People can change, but old habits die hard.
She hesitates before picking up the receiver to dial the numbers she knows all too well. She doesn't even finish the area code before throwing the phone down, willing herself not to cry. Calling him will only make it seem more real; hearing his voice will only remind her of everything she could have had if only she hadn't been so afraid. She let herself fall for the old flame because he was safe. If he betrayed her, she would know how to survive.
Because, somewhere deep inside herself, she knows it isn't Max who broke her heart.
It's been far too long since I've written anything ER. Then again, I haven't watched an episode since somewhere in Season 11.
TITLE: Thinking Over
WORDS: 117
RATING: G/PG
SPOILERS: I'm going to assume you've all seen TWBD by now?
You swore you'd never wear that pink dress again.
Of course, accompanying one of the richest men in Chicago to an elite family function hadn't quite appeared on your social calendar when you made that promise.
You replay the previous evening's events in your mind: the flowers, the limo, the dancing. Your mind races, and you absent-mindedly rub your cheek where he kissed you when he brought you home. Always the gentleman, he insisted upon walking you to your door.
Twelve hours ago you thought you had everything planned out; you knew everything that you wanted. Now you realize that maybe you were wrong.
But, after all, you did swear you'd never wear that pink dress again.
//
TITLE: Bitter Perception
WORDS: 93
CHARACTER: Carter/Abby. Primarily Carter.
SPOILERS: I suppose you could say Season 10.
You feel the bitter sting of sunlight before you even open your eyes. Each wavelength pummels you from a different direction, all the pinks and purples and yellows of a brilliant sunrise. You shut your eyes, hiding from the colors.
You fight the light with darkness.
Elsewhere she stands in awe, the warm morning air a welcome sign of late summer.
She, in turn, fought her darkness with light.
Perception holds a strange and beautiful secret: the revelation of a time when what was lost is found, and what was found is lost.
//
TITLE: Bright Lights
WORDS: 105
CHARACTERS: Carter/Abby
SPOILERS: Season 10-ish
It's nearly midnight when you find her gazing out over the city, sipping her coffee in solitude. You continue until you’re standing just behind her - close but never touching. Only inches away and still so far out of reach.
Your inability to break the silence speaks volumes of anger without absolution. Mistakes and misdirection telling of words left out - and words better left unsaid.
Once too early, now too late.
The bright lights of the city below clash violently against a darkness you cannot see.
There was a time when you would have seen her tears - even as they're masked by the bitter November rain.
//
TITLE: Autumn Leaves
WORDS: 100 (Go me!)
CHARACTERS: Carter/Abby
SPOILERS: Not really, I guess S9. But still, not really.
Autumn came early that year.
It fell suddenly, descended upon him unexpectedly. One morning he simply woke to find every vestige of summer vanished overnight.
His world was ablaze with the changing color, each gold and red and brown akin to the mystery he saw in her eyes. It was captivating, her moods more volatile than the seasons, the dark moments every bit as luminous as the light. She fascinated him, even in those moments when her color varied only in shades of grey.
Cautiously, carefully, he let go.
And as autumn breeze gave way to winter, she blew away.
//
TITLE: Partly Cloudy, Chance of Rain
WORDS: 179 (ooops?)
CHARACTERS: Carter/Abby
SPOILERS: If you haven't seen The Letter by now, I don't have anything to say to you anyway.
"I've got a secret," she announces casually, joining him in the ambulance bay.
"Oh, really? Anything you'd care to share with the class, Miss Lockhart?"
"I might need convincing."
"I'd oblige, but I'm afraid that might not be very professional of me ..."
"Are you suggesting something, Dr. Carter?"
"I wouldn't dream of it."
He feels her gaze tilt towards him as her laughter dies out. He expects another retort, and then ...
"I went for me, too, you know."
The silence that follows is inconsequential. Just that she said it. She said it and he heard it and she can't take it back. She doesn't want to, either.
Nothing else matters.
"It's supposed to rain today," he says finally. Before he realizes what's happened, she's laughing and he's laughing with her. Her laughter is infectious and distracting as his thoughts drift miles from the ambulance bay.
"You guys need ...?" Lydia's offer of help falls short with curiosity. "What is so funny?"
Abby's eyes sparkle, Carter waits. It's up to her now.
"Just aquatic mischief."
A secret, indeed.
//
TITLE: Angles & Variations
WORDS: 101
CHARACTERS: Carter, Abby
SPOILERS: The Letter.
She sits on the pavement like the grand ruins of an ancient temple. Fractured and fragmented - but beautiful.
More intoxicating than the bitter liquid that fills her system, she is a glossy photograph in shades of grey. Variations of black and white as vivid as bright reds and golds.
It's fairytale, but it plays out as nightmare. And she, a whirlwind. Maybe she spins around you, and maybe she doesn't. But her eyes bear into yours, and you think you know. You don't - not really.
But in the end, there's only her.
//
TITLE: Open Wounds
WORDS: 115
CHARACTERS: Abby, Carter (implied)
SPOILERS: Through 10.22
You were right. You always knew you were right.
You smiled at me - you smiled and told me you never had a doubt in your mind. The piece of paper I held in my hands was tangible proof that I have become the person you always knew I was, the woman I never thought I could be.
In that moment, I wonder what I might say if you ever asked me for a reason - for the catalyst that resulted in my sudden changes. To lie would be an impossible feat. But could I bring myself to tell you the truth?
Now, when my wounds have finally begun to heal - and yours are still so fresh.
//
TITLE: Empty Comfort
WORDS: 101
CHARACTERS: Abby-centric. Kerry is also sort of there.
SPOILERS: Season 10
You want to offer more than empty words and hackneyed promises, but you don’t know how to comfort a woman who has lost everything. You tried once before, you drowned her in alcohol and reverted her to escapism. You failed, and she floundered.
So you say the only thing you can. The words sound trite in your head, even more so spoken aloud.
You see the gleam of sadness in her eyes, and you feel your heart breaking. For her - and for yourself.
For everything you lost, everything you felt you had to give up, and everything you let yourself become.
//
TITLE: Tug-of-War
WORDS: 122
CHARACTERS: Sam, Luka (implied)
SPOILERS: Season 10
You woke up early this morning, kept yourself busy. You refuse to admit that you miss him.
It’s a tug-of-war, this battle you’re fighting. He pulls; you pull back. He pulls; you pull harder.
You know the game better than he does.
It doesn’t matter who’s on the other end as long as your son stays on your side.
You child is your excuse to run, run before you get too close.
It’s the same thing every time, and you won’t lose. You won’t let yourself, even when losing might be the best possible outcome. You know it’s too dangerous.
So you keep yourself busy. You refuse to admit that you miss him.
This is the first time you’ve ever looked back.
//
TITLE: Only Moment
WORDS: 132
CHARACTERS: Carter
SPOILERS: Through 10.21
It was all I ever really wanted - to be a father, to be the kind of father mine never was.
I'm watching him now. He's perfect. And yet I'll never get to take him home. I'll never watch him open his eyes, see him smile, hear him laugh. He's perfect. And yet he won't have his first words or take his first steps. But still, he's my son. He's perfect.
I became a father and lost a child all in one day, and the only answer they can give me is bad luck.
Maybe all Carters are doomed to lose their first child.
So I'll cling desperately to this moment - the first and last I'll ever spend with him.
It's all I have left now - just memories, and a thousand what ifs.
//
TITLE: Impossible Situation
WORDS: 129
CHARACTERS: Susan
SPOILERS: Season 2
It's only been a week since Chloe abandoned them, but it feels more like a lifetime. It takes all she has just to keep reminding herself that her sister is really gone.
Chloe failed her once again, leaving an impossible situation in her wake.
She won't let herself sleep, countless suggestions of ways to juggle an infant and finish her residency racking her brain, each new solution more implausible than the last.
Her thoughts are only interrupted by the baby's cry in the next room. Glad for the distraction, she attends to the one problem she can fix.
And with one look at Susie's innocent face, she knows that she can't give up just yet.
"We're gonna be alright," she croons to the baby. "We're gonna be just fine."
//
TITLE: Defeat
WORDS: 169
CHARACTERS: Anna
SPOILERS: Season 4
He's gone - again, and this time she knows he's not coming back.
How could she have been so stupid? She gave up everything - her job, her friends. She built a life for herself in Chicago. For the first time in a long time, she had been happy. Then he came back, convincing her that he'd changed, that he could be everything she deserved.
People can change, but old habits die hard.
She hesitates before picking up the receiver to dial the numbers she knows all too well. She doesn't even finish the area code before throwing the phone down, willing herself not to cry. Calling him will only make it seem more real; hearing his voice will only remind her of everything she could have had if only she hadn't been so afraid. She let herself fall for the old flame because he was safe. If he betrayed her, she would know how to survive.
Because, somewhere deep inside herself, she knows it isn't Max who broke her heart.