I won this show in a 'What Would I Do With a Late Night Talk Show' writing contest. I placed third.
- Conan O'Brien to David Letterman on Late Night With Conan O'Brien, 1993.
I can't believe I still remember that, although I sort of can believe I still remember that. Those were the days I watched late night talk shows religiously and compiled an impressive VHS library of Letterman/O'Brien (plus a smattering of late-era Carson, and Craig Kilbourn, which: shut up) that I watched and re-watched and re-re-watched. I don't really tune in to late night television anymore; it doesn't really mesh with my work schedule, plus I think I just got bored with it. (Plus plus, watching Leno/O'Brien/Fallon/Kimmel/Letterman/Ferguson/Colbert/Stewart is almost impossible in this country if you don't have cable. For example, Leno and Kimmel are on City, O'Brien is on A Channel, Ferguson used to be on E!, but E! doesn't exist anymore, and I have no idea which network carries Letterman).
ANYWAY.
So I don't watch late night talk shows anymore and when tabloidy, celebrity-type fueds hit the headlines, I usually roll my eyes and try not to get my brain sullied. But this whole Leno/O'Brien brouhaha . . . I can't get enough of it. My interest was piqued when NBC yanked 5 hours of drama programing every week to accomodate Leno with the reasoning that even if Leno's show sucked and got terrible ratings, it was still cheaper than drama programming. Because this . . . this blatant striving for mediocrity was so misguided, not to mention a big "kiss my ass" to people who enjoy watching quality television (like Southland, which I was really getting into). To be honest, I was hoping the whole thing would fall on its face. And it did, and I was happy that the people had . . . spaken. Of course, I didn't anticipate Conan getting kicked in the teeth in the process.
ANYWAY.
Why have I been pouring over the late night headlines and youtube clips with such zest over the past couple of weeks? I think there are two main reasons. 1) It has cracked a veneer of polite obsequiousness that goes on in show business to reveal how people really think about the networks and each other. I'm kind of surprised by this because I always thought I was a champion of staying classy and being polite and taking the high road to stay above the fray. Buuuuut . . . it's kinda refreshing to hear what people really think, especially when they're comedians and can make it funny at the same time. Or maybe it's living vicariously through another person . . . like watching Kimmel skewer Leno on the 10@10 segment. I would never have the courage to do that so someone's face. (I'm purposely avoiding the "Was it too mean-spirited?" debate. I'm just saying that it was kind of . . . admirably ballsy. I haven't seen anything like that since Colbert at the Press Correspondents dinner ).
Which sort of leads me to my second reason. I think Conan O'Brien is kind of living out every schmoe's fantasy right now: sticking it to the boss in a very creative and very public way. I mean, I'd rather he stay on The Tonight Show (I think Conan's style is closer in spirit to Johnny Carson's than Jay Leno . . . yes, Leno is sort of cut from the same generational cloth, but I think Conan has that affable charisma that Johnny had), but if Conan's going to go, he's really going out in a blaze of glory. And it's great that he's getting away with all this stuff without impunity. I guess comedy is funnier when you don't have to worry about ratings or being fired and you've got nothing left to lose.
So yes. Really, isn't this the dream of just about anyone? I have to admit that I winced a little at the idea, because as much as I want to completely boycott NBC for being such boneheads, I really want to keep supporting The Office (which I currently watch), Parks and Recreation, and Community (which I don't, but I will at a future date, I swear). So I don't want NBC to run into the ground completely because then I wouldn't be able to watch Steve Carrell do something awesome every week. However, I countered that with the notion that NBC can save faaaaaar more than 1.5 million dollars but taking Heroes out back and putting it out of its UTTER MISERY. Please put Heroes of its misery, NBC. The suffering . . . . it's inhumane . . . .
Oh, and I just read that Late Night didn't buy the car, they borrowed it for free from a local automobile museum. But NBC still has to pay royalties for all the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin the show's been playing over the past week. So that's good. That's a level of spite I can handle (because I am a weeemp).
Oh, and I just just read that this week, Heroes received less ratings than Leno's 10 pm show. Huh.
Best advice given during this whole debacle: Letterman re: Leno (paraphrased): When the network tells you that they're bringing in someone else to do your show and you agree to it, DON'T HANG AROUND. Go to another network, get a new show, do really well, and make the original network eat its words. Don't hang out in the lobby and wait for something bad to happen.
Best explanation of this whole debacle comes from Taiwan, of course.
And now I must off to do something useful with my life.