(no subject)
My family wanted to go see Avenue Q because it was coming to the city. I bought the tickets. Too much money. I need to stop spending.
If I was not an athiest, I would be praying so hard for the full-ride scholarship I applied to. I deserve it. I work my ass off, I know I deserve it.
I deserve to get out of this little town. I deserve to go to a good school. I deserve to have a good career. I deserve to enjoy my life.
I do work for it. My GPA this year thus far is 4.7. Four-point-fucking seven. I've never had my un-weighted GPA below 4.0. And 4.0 is perfect for those that do not know the American school system. 4.0 is straight A's.
4.7
I've been President of the Poets' and Writers' Club for three years! I'm Editor-in-Chief of a NATIONAL award winning magazine that I do entirely on my own. I've played tennis for nine years and speak three languages, learning a fourth. I'm on the Academic Decathlon team that has not lost a single county competition in like 30 years. I'm participating in and promoting my school district's fourth year in the national Poetry Out Loud competition.
I work up to seven hours AFTER going to school all day. Every weekend, I am at work at six in the morning. My boss, managers and co-workers all tell me I'm the best employee they've ever had in my department.
I'm intelligent. I'm humorous. I'm open-minded. I'm social and self-disciplined. I'm even cute.
I know how to live life and help others appreciate theirs.
I've survived immigration. I've survived being the weird foreign kid no one wanted to talk to. I've survived countless family issues. I've survived being the quiet local kid everyone wanted to hate. I've survived losing my two best friends, the only people I felt ever truly knew me. I've survived friends that think because I'm not a druggie or alcoholic like them, I'll never know an actual struggle or will be able to understand people's problems. I've survived a shattered heart after I rejected someone I love, and still love, thinking I would be avoiding pain. I've survived the idiots that surround me at my school (I could do a whole separate rant on them). I've even been surviving this ridiculous Twilight-mania.
The reason I spend money on countless, stupid concerts is because if I don't have something to look forward to, something small and insignificant to take me away from this town, I don't believe I would be able to hold it all together.
I'm starting to break.
Finally, I can feel that first crack forming within me.
I need this.
I deserve this.
I want to be able to go to Japan this summer.
I want to be able to go to a proper university.
I want to be able to study something that will actually be worthwhile and help me obtain a worthy career.
But we all want.
Thousands of other students are applying for the same scholarship.
They all need it. They all deserve it.
But just this once, may I please be the one amongst the many?
May someone please, just this once, remember my name?
If I was not an athiest, I would be praying so hard for the full-ride scholarship I applied to. I deserve it. I work my ass off, I know I deserve it.
I deserve to get out of this little town. I deserve to go to a good school. I deserve to have a good career. I deserve to enjoy my life.
I do work for it. My GPA this year thus far is 4.7. Four-point-fucking seven. I've never had my un-weighted GPA below 4.0. And 4.0 is perfect for those that do not know the American school system. 4.0 is straight A's.
4.7
I've been President of the Poets' and Writers' Club for three years! I'm Editor-in-Chief of a NATIONAL award winning magazine that I do entirely on my own. I've played tennis for nine years and speak three languages, learning a fourth. I'm on the Academic Decathlon team that has not lost a single county competition in like 30 years. I'm participating in and promoting my school district's fourth year in the national Poetry Out Loud competition.
I work up to seven hours AFTER going to school all day. Every weekend, I am at work at six in the morning. My boss, managers and co-workers all tell me I'm the best employee they've ever had in my department.
I'm intelligent. I'm humorous. I'm open-minded. I'm social and self-disciplined. I'm even cute.
I know how to live life and help others appreciate theirs.
I've survived immigration. I've survived being the weird foreign kid no one wanted to talk to. I've survived countless family issues. I've survived being the quiet local kid everyone wanted to hate. I've survived losing my two best friends, the only people I felt ever truly knew me. I've survived friends that think because I'm not a druggie or alcoholic like them, I'll never know an actual struggle or will be able to understand people's problems. I've survived a shattered heart after I rejected someone I love, and still love, thinking I would be avoiding pain. I've survived the idiots that surround me at my school (I could do a whole separate rant on them). I've even been surviving this ridiculous Twilight-mania.
The reason I spend money on countless, stupid concerts is because if I don't have something to look forward to, something small and insignificant to take me away from this town, I don't believe I would be able to hold it all together.
I'm starting to break.
Finally, I can feel that first crack forming within me.
I need this.
I deserve this.
I want to be able to go to Japan this summer.
I want to be able to go to a proper university.
I want to be able to study something that will actually be worthwhile and help me obtain a worthy career.
But we all want.
Thousands of other students are applying for the same scholarship.
They all need it. They all deserve it.
But just this once, may I please be the one amongst the many?
May someone please, just this once, remember my name?