i'd really like to know.
are there acceptable levels of boring & typical which a person can be? i'd really like to know.
how great would it be to take a semester off and just be on your own, travel overseas or even just make your way across the country. then come back having more perspective on the world outside your safe bubble and maybe a better idea of what you want to do, or not even come back because at least you could decide on that much. i'm 19, i don't know what career path to take, and that's really fine. now that's against everything i've been raised with and basically even the structure i am in now, but it's also kind of like that addage, 'the more you learn, the more you learn you don't know.' get the gist? i kind of wonder if i've had so much schooling that i haven't been able to learn about the world by just living in it.
and i'm tired but satisfied. [i dunno about happy- i admit i'm far too critical to deem myself happy. i consider happiness to be on par with perfection. even 'satisfied' i use loosely...] satisfied because i'm doing things my way; at least if i can't be satisfied in school then i can find other things to put my energy in and from which i can reap rewards. tired physically, and yes mentally. mentally b/c i never know how long this will last. i pray not to lose motivation, even when the momentum slows. i burn myself out. i wouldn't have it any other way.