No Ordinary Love, Part 3, chapter 192
192
The longest twelve hours of my life ever. No, the second in length, exactly. Nothing compares with wondering if your shut woman is going to make it or not. This was just her giving birth to another child of ours. And that child was determinant not be easy with her. Nothing unlike Kai. That one just popped out quicker than anyone could ever expect, like he was so eager to see the world. This one was already hating it.
Sweetie demanded no fuss so I had lot of trouble fighting with Anita not to even think and come to the hospital. I knew she’ll try to fight me so I called Kari’s cell and told him what’s going on and to do whatever to make sure mom stays put. However, Anita called to discuss the nonsence and it just pissed me off. But apparently kept her away. And there was no need to call anyone else, anita will do that, but Sweetie’s parents and since I knew they’re very far away and the news will only make them worry I decided to spare them. Once it’s over I’ll call them right away.
Kai was old enough as well as so dear and caring to say he’s coming with us. There was nothing in this world that would’ve make him stay at home when he’s about to get a sibling. Jesus she was so struggling. She was in so much pain but she held brave, right until the actual moment came. Then I left her side and Kai and I got out. No, none of us was in such theatricals of filming the event. There’s just nothing appealing to that notion for us. I wanted to stay though I wondered if I have the stamina to remain on my feet through it.
“Go, if I were you I wouldn’t want to witness this,” she read my mind and eased it at once. “And Kai must not see it.”
On that one I agreed to the core, that was never the plan in the first place, but it felt good to have some kind of excuse.
“Dad, what you think it’ll be? Boy or a girl?” he started a conversation, something that can keep both of our mind off worrying.
“Well, mom’s pretty sure it’s going to be a girl. What would you prefer?”
“I don’t know. A little sister that I can take care of would be nice. Boys can be real pain in the ass sometimes,” he winked. “And girls mature quicker so I guess that will make it easer for us to get along.”
“Getting along is hardly in any way related to maturity.”
“I don’t think so,” he shook his head. “Massa says I’m more mature than older guys at school that hit on her.”
“Guys hit on her?” I repeated wondering what that might possibility mean. “And how does that exactly go?”
“They bring her these little shits she throws in the trash,” he giggled running memory through his head. “Like flowers, sweets, cards, letters. We have a good laugh at those. If only you’d know how pathetic most of them are.”
“Well, I can’t unless you tell me.”
“There are corny lines like ‘your eyes are like the sweetest M&M’s’ ‘the way you glide down the stairs is like angels descenting from the sky’”
“Urgh, that’s like big time corny,” I made discusting face. “Don’t ever say that to a girl. Especially if she’s like Massa.”
“Come on you’ve raised me better than that.”
“I’m still raising you.”
“Yeah, and you and mom are quite resourceful when it comes to how to charm a girl so don’t worry,” he assured me. “I think I have some class in me.”
“And don’t throw pebbles at them either. It won’t do you no good. Learn from my mistakes, kiddo.”
“You really did that?”
“Unfortunately yes,” I chuckled and Kai laughed.
“Dad?”
“I know, it was stupid.”
“And how did it end? Did she kick your ass or something?”
“No, apparently I was lucky enough she did like me enough to see past my idiocy. However, it wasn’t the end of it, the idiocy I mean. After pebbles I got this weird idea she’d also like a bucket full of snow thrown on top of her head.”
“Oh, no, daddy…”
“Is it necessary to say she never spoke to me again?”
“Apsolutely not,” he assured me.
“So before you do something to get girl’s attention please bear that in mind,” I laughed at myself. “So how’s things between you and Massa?”
“Great, everything’s back to normal. Though we’re splitting classes next semester probably. I’m thinking about taking some new courses, kind of bit advanced you know, so…”
“You sure about that?” I asked. I knew he was extremely intelligent and so far school was no problem for him even that he was already in class older than his age. ‘I mean you’re sure it won’t be too much, with new subjects and stuff?”
“Well my teachers are confident I can pull it through with no trouble. They feel it would do me go more than staying where I am.” He paused as I examined his face realizing he was really taking it seriously. “So what do you think?”
“If that’s what you want then… I’m fine with it. But when it comes to education maybe it would be better to consult with mom.”
“Yeah, she’s the one with diploma in our family.”
“Plural son. Your mom’s genius, remember?”
“I never forget it dad. How was school for you anyway?”
“Uh-huh fine I guess,” I shrugged. “I had nice friends so that was cool. However, sitting in the classes was extremely boring. I wasn’t really all that much interested in anything past music, art and English. I was good with other subjects but… it was boring most of the time. I was easily getting in troubles, you know picking up fights with bad guys for some reason I don’t even remember.”
“Do you regret not finishing school?”
“I don’t think so,” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t be here probably if I had stayed in. Plus, I think I’ve turned quite well for a drop out.”
“Yeah, mom says it’s because you’re curious and reading a lot. She says degrees mean nothing. That they’re just necessities at times you’re looking for employment.”
“She’s right. I mean, she doesn’t care and never did care about her degrees or anybody elses. And you shouldn’t either. It’s just piece of paper. What you accumulate in here,” I tapped his head with my index finger, “that’s what counts. As well as what you have here,” I put my palm on his chest.
Then Sweetie was wheeled back to the room. The waiting was finally over. She looked exhausted and couldn’t speak, her eyelids moved with incredible slow pace, she was completely drained.
I smiled at her, taking her hand, kissing it, then kissing her forehead, telling her how much I love her and how brave she is. Kai was a bit taken aback with seeing his mother so knockned out and looking sick.
“It’s ok. Mom’s just exhausted love. She just needs to sleep,” I assured him so he could have his moment with her.
“Hi, mom. I love you, too,” he said unsure if she had heard him. She seemingly squeezed my hand as a gesture of understanding.
“Let’s let mom to rest a little,” I ushered him to join me in the corner in the chair. He nodded and sat in my lap his eyes glued to his now sleeping mother. “She’ll be just fine. Mommy’s one hell of a strong girl.”
“Was she like this with me, too?” he was seriously concerned. That side of his selflessness, much like his mother’s, was something that would always bring some saddening quality to my thoughts of him. In some moments I’d always be glad he’s so evolved in his mind and perception. He was making it easier to stick to the rule of being honest with him no matter what. Strangely as it might sound but both Sweetie and me could confide in him about our true feelings one for another, our concerns, doubts, things you usually do with your best friend and he’d always be very understanding, sometimes even be very helpful, clearing up any doubts I might have with my options. There’s just something very liberating to be able to tell your little son you’re worried you don’t deserve his mother’s love or how your heart aches for her in some moments when she’s far away and know he’ll tell you ‘go get her dad’ in way much more encouraging than any friend could ever do. But that maturity was saddening me at the same time. It was making me wish his mind was less developed more like any other five year-old kid so he wouldn’t miss anything of the usual childhood stuff. But Kai was never much into any of that anyway. Plus, with the way his parents were I doubt any child under our parenthood can ever have a good shot at traditional childhood.
“No,” I shook my head pulling him closer to my chest. “You kind of just popped out once you made it clear you’re ready to go out. It was like it was all over before it even started.”
“I think I hate the baby right now.”
“Come on,” I ruffled his hair and pulled him closer. “Babies usually come this way. You were the only exception.”
“So what? My sister is going to be just another ordinary baby?” he frowned.
“With my genes and mom’s? I don’t think so,” I joked.
“I truly hope so,” he returned. “I wouldn’t like her to be like other kids I know. they’re just too boring.”
I knew he was feeling like that. He didn’t really have much kids he considered friends. Of course there was Massa. He was just too young to realize she’s not just a friend but in future they’re bound to cross that line and I had a feeling someone’s heart will be broken. Thinking of that I hoped it would be my son’s. He’s better equipped to deal with it and heal in much healthier way than Massa. That and with her family being torn to pieces would probably just set her off to the wrong bitter path. Kai had both of his parents and always will. We’ll be there to help him out through rough times. Sure, I knew first hand no one can really help you out when your heart is rip to pieces but it’s much better when you have at least one person that is willing to listen your thoughts and more importantly to truly sympathize and understand.
“Is it that bad?” I mused hoping he’ll prove me wrong. “I mean you seem to find something common with Lilly, right?”
“Yeah, but she’s in France and I’m here. It’s not like I can see her whenever I want, you know.”
“But she’s a friend,” that wasn’t a question yet he decided to treat it that way.
“Yeah, sure,” he nodded. “I mean, there’s Skype but it just doesn’t have that… effect as face to face. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” it was my turn to nod. “ But it’s helpful when you miss someone for a long time.”
“For me it’s just not the right tool for friendship. But Lily feels the same way so I know she won’t be bugging me about why I don’t talk to her that way.”
“And what Massa thinks about it?”
“She’s getting better grip I think. I mean, i understand why it’s been hard for her, I’m her only friend. She’s not even remotely interested in making new so… but Lily got under her skin as well so, it’s ok I think. I mean now she has someone who’s more interested in girly stuff than me,” he grinned.
Then the doctor came to check on Sweetie, see how she’s doing and finally came the time for us to get some info on the newest addition to our family.
“You can now go see your sister, young man,” the doctor grinned at Kai, probably wondering why this little creature isn’t leaping with joy at the news.
So, it was a girl. Much like I hoped for. Much like Sweetie believed it would be. I wondered if everything else she had see few hours ago about her will also turn out to be true. I brushed the tought off and asked the doctor the usual stuff, how’s the baby, is Sweetie going to be ok…
“They’re both just fine. Of course, your wife is very exhausted but very brave, too. I wanted to opt for C-section when it was all going so slow and wearing her off but she refused saying it’s the last option only if all others are drained. Women don’t usual do that but I must in baby’s interest and your wife’s as well going all natural though much more excruciatingly painful it is, is also better.”
It figured she won’t go for easier solution. She always says how she’s not good at harboring phycial pain but everything she does proves different. It’s probably definition of pain that’s twisted in her mind so all this usually painful things don’t count. Another thing that adds to list of parallels of us being very different in essence.
“Want to go see your sister, kiddo?” I asked my son who shrugged, hesitating to leave his mother’s side. “You heard the doctor, mom’s just fine.”
“I know, I just wished she could tell me that,” his eyes hopefully looked at mine.
“You trust me?”
Of course he nodded.
“Mom’s just sleeping. We’ll be back before she wakes up. It’s just few minutes, you know”
“Ok,” he agreed after some hesitation.
It was pretty weird for him to look at all the babies lined up behind the glass and he wondered if there’s maybe some chance that babies get mixed up. Suddenly he shared his fear that we’ll end up with wrong one. I couldn’t help but giggle at his thoughts. The blond nurse wheeled a little crib to the glass and kai frowned at the sight of his sister all wrinkled up, red and frowning.
“Oh my God she’s awful,” he made discusting face.
“It’s how all babies look like when they’re born,” I tried to reassure him she won’t stay that way. I looked at little girl myself and compared the experience with one of Kai. There was a difference she frowned too much. Again, Sweetie’s feeling about her came to mind. She was also hairy, much like Kai was when he was here. Same kind wrinkled up and red skinned. But she was somehow beautiful to me. I guess that probably has something to do with the fact that she was my own. Other babies were just plain ugly, little Michelin’s prototypes. My daughter had full lips much like her mother’s and I knew somehow one day she’ll be a real beauty. Something a father can look forward to, sleepless nights of worrying and scanning all the boys that would wait in line to take her on a date. Great.
“Dad?” I felt Kai tugging my sleeve. By the look on his face I knew I was daydreaming. “Can we go back to mom, now? I’ve really seen all too much.”
“Ok,” I nodded. I understood he was expecting something quite different. It wasn’t what I wanted but I can only comply to his wish. He’ll get over it soon.
“Was I that… ugly?” he asked as we walked down the corridor.
“She’s not ugly,” I pointed out. “Like I said, all babies look like that for first few weeks. You know, when a baby’s inside a womb she’s living in water to say. For nine months. Once it gets out it takes time to adjust to breathing on its own and all. The skin smooths out as she grows, wrinkles straighten up, redness fades...”
“So I was that ugly,” he concluded.
There was just no point in my trying to change his mind. He’ll have to come around it on his own terms and in his own time. Sometimes the best you can do is just let them cope on their own.
Once he was back to his mother, he asked if it would be ok to sit on her bed and instead of answering that I put him there.
“You won’t her her,” I assured him reading on his face he’d much like to hug her. I wanted that, too but the bed was just too small for both of us. It was more important to him I guess, probably somehow comforting to hold her than to watch me do that while he sits in the corner. And I knew he’ll soon fall asleep, too. Surprisingly he lasted this far without even a yawn. Now the thrill was gone and he could relax, he had his mother back, tension was over. His eyelids slow movements confirmed my prediction and he himself soon fulfilled it.
I smiled at the sight of the two of them picturing how soon we’ll be back home in our king sized bed, all four of us, curled up, sleeping. And then I wished for nurses to come bring me my daughter, to let me hold her in my arms. That was all I wanted, just to feel her, tell her how much I loved her already, even before she was born, now even more. I need to hold her. There’s something about that first time you take your child in your arms, like you link to her properly for the first time, tune in. Until you do that, the feeling of love isn’t so strong. But once you touch her fragile skin, feel that unique scent, something inside you clicks and you know even before she opens her eyes and looks at you for the first time that you’d give your life for her, that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make her happy.
Much like falling in love, hoplessly, irrevocably and unconditionally only without physical component. That part is reserved for the mother only. And another thing was apparent to me as well. The depth of my feelings for Sweetheart, though already extended to their fullest have just went further overboard. I loved, worshipped and adored her even more. I was absolutely enchanted.
Maybe that had something to do with the truth that she wasn’t really keen on idea of becoming a mother ever in her life. And here she is, recuperating from giving birth to her second child. No, our second child. And she chose me as fit enough for the role of fathering something she could never seen her good enough for. Now, when I look at Kai, when I remember of how excellent job she’s been and still is doing with him I can’t help but think what a disaster it would be if she had remained firm in her beliefs. She was the best possible mother a child could ever wish for. And I’m not saying it just because Kai adores her through and through. Even little Massa secretly wishes her mother would have the same caring eyes, understanding, gentle touch and kind words and that tacticful treatment she displays with everyone that kids loved the most. Sweetie knew how not to be nosey. She’d now you need time alone even before you realize it and she’d let you have it before you even think to ask for it. She’d read you, get up and give you that look that would say it better than any words ever can, ‘I’m going but you know where to find me when you need me’. She will never push.
Unless, it’s me who obviousl needs that push every now and then. Only she’d cleverly draw me in her game, lead me down her path until she gets me where she wants me.
No, I didn’t feel manipulated or tricked. Never. Further more, I felt like she was actually just reading me far too good and was able to put her finger on something I couldn’t and all she does is just show me the way, get me out of the darkness, save me from stumbling around.
With her intellect and her over the top perception I only wondered what she could if she was the least interested in playing with us normal humans. We just had no idea how lucky we were she was so respectful of everybody’s own beings and right to choose. I could bet she could easily be far worse than Hitler was if she was evil. She’d certainly last longer and be more successful. Everything she did came naturally for her. She made everything seem so effortless. She didn’t even need to sleep the average every one needs.
Then I caught myself musing over the idea of her becoming a vampire. If all those premises that everything you’re good at, your gifts come to their fullest when you become immortal she’d probably be the greatest vampire ever. She’d certainly be physically strong and her knowledge of combat would just make her invincible. But her mental skills, oh… just imagine that. No one could harm her, she would read and know all your inner thought, read them without even wanting to. She’d probably be able to have visions as well, see the future. But I wondered what would be with her sense for righteousness. Would that make her go and slaughter every criminal, murder, rapist, corrupted businessmen that exploit the poor? Would she cleansed the world of all evil in it? Or would she maybe find some other solution? Maybe she would be able to control people’s mind in such way that they’d never think of doing any harm whatsoever to another human. The first option seemed more appealing, knowing the strength of her rage and anger. In just one second she can transform from the sweetest, kindest angel into the real demon of fury.
I so, wished I could make her a vampire just for the fun of it, out of curiosity. Also I wondered, how even more gorgeous she’d be? I mean, that’s what the stories tell us it happens. Vampires are just all more beautiful than humans and she’s already in that category. Of course to stand it, I’d have to be a vampire too. Otherwise I think I’d just drool and if she’d grace me with just one look I’d have a heart attack and drop dead. Even as a human now, her touch always makes my heart race, her eyes make it skip a beat and I can’t take my eyes or hands off of her. And her scent… well that makes another part of me remind me it’s there and wants to have fun with her.
Hmm, maybe someone had bit me already and I’m just not aware of it….