Because all the names and places I have taken from real life

[fop_jesus]

I went to my psychology appointment and I am currently on the way to treating my ADD. I was even able to convince my dad to let me start medication. I'm glad that I was finally able to get to this point, but I feel like I wasted so much time getting here. If I had stuck with it three years ago, or even started again when my symptoms resurfaced, how much less would I have had to have dealt with? But that doesn't really matter and I don't think it ever will. In a way, I'm glad I had such a horrible experience.

While I'm glad that I'm finally getting that portion of my life sorted out, I still feel lost. I went from absolutely knowing what I want to do for the rest of my life to being out at sea lacking compass or sail. I have nothing to go on, I'm not aware of anything that I'm good at. I don't really have a passion for anything. After saying this I realize that I am essentially where I was three years ago. Still clueless, still lost, still adrift.

I think I'm still secretly waiting for something to fall into my lap, for something to be placed before me with the knowledge that yes, this is the thing that I have been waiting for all my life.

I just realized that I expect this to happen quite a bit, and how pathetically naive that is.

So what can I do instead?