our stars would not allow
been feeling oddly apathetic about life in general these days. it's a. weird feeling.
it's not that i'm not worried about my grades or my classes or work or anything. i am! i am so incredibly worried and freaked out, especially since it seems like stuff keeps on piling and piling as the days go by. it's only tuesday and already i have two tests tomorrow, i have a poster to do for LSC, i have readings that i haven't looked at, i have a pset, i have two paper due in 2 weeks, i've been arriving at work late and i just. can't seem to muster the energy to /do/ anything.
i keep making plans and schedules for myself and i never go THROUGH with them (which kind of makes them useless).
for example, my proposed plan for today vs. what i actually did:
Time Schedule Actual Result8WorkSleep9Recitation Sleep10BentoWork11BadmintonBadminton12ClassClass1ClassClass2ClassClass3LunchInternet4PosterInternet5PosterSleep6DinnerSleep7ArtArt8ArtArt9ArtArt10StudyInternet
etc etc etc.
fzzzt yeah. :|
blah blah blah. ended up eating instant noodles for dinner since rt2 forgot to buy me dinner, claiming she didn't know what to buy me. my reaction was approximately asd;lfjka;sdlkfj because i'd spent ~ 3 hours standing in front of an easel dying of hunger but safe in the knowledge i would have food (!) after class.
except, you know, the part where i DIDN'T.
weirdly enough, despite having spent so much time drawing i. still want to draw! which i think is part of my |( feelings toward classwork. the other part is, idk, burnout? except not really?
god who knows.
okay going to shut up before i drown myself in the EMOOOO. lalala
night
(p.s. finished drawing ahew-verse germany+italy, japan+england here. there are approximately half a billion things wrong with it but i sincerely don't care anymore. o/)
it's not that i'm not worried about my grades or my classes or work or anything. i am! i am so incredibly worried and freaked out, especially since it seems like stuff keeps on piling and piling as the days go by. it's only tuesday and already i have two tests tomorrow, i have a poster to do for LSC, i have readings that i haven't looked at, i have a pset, i have two paper due in 2 weeks, i've been arriving at work late and i just. can't seem to muster the energy to /do/ anything.
i keep making plans and schedules for myself and i never go THROUGH with them (which kind of makes them useless).
for example, my proposed plan for today vs. what i actually did:
Time Schedule Actual Result8WorkSleep9Recitation Sleep10BentoWork11BadmintonBadminton12ClassClass1ClassClass2ClassClass3LunchInternet4PosterInternet5PosterSleep6DinnerSleep7ArtArt8ArtArt9ArtArt10StudyInternet
etc etc etc.
fzzzt yeah. :|
blah blah blah. ended up eating instant noodles for dinner since rt2 forgot to buy me dinner, claiming she didn't know what to buy me. my reaction was approximately asd;lfjka;sdlkfj because i'd spent ~ 3 hours standing in front of an easel dying of hunger but safe in the knowledge i would have food (!) after class.
except, you know, the part where i DIDN'T.
weirdly enough, despite having spent so much time drawing i. still want to draw! which i think is part of my |( feelings toward classwork. the other part is, idk, burnout? except not really?
god who knows.
okay going to shut up before i drown myself in the EMOOOO. lalala
night
(p.s. finished drawing ahew-verse germany+italy, japan+england here. there are approximately half a billion things wrong with it but i sincerely don't care anymore. o/)