Painted in a White Canvas; Messi/Villa
Title: Painted in a White Canvas
Pairing: Messi/Villa
Rating: R
Word Count: 7,698
Summary: Lionel is a painter and David is a rich man. They met five years before and David have to leave, ignoring Leo's wishes for him to stay, when they meet again they get another chance of repainting on the white canvas of their story.
Author spartan_muse
Mixer: distira
Download Mix Here
The brush met the soft, white surface of the canvas and left behind a faint trace of blue which would probably become a forrest seen from far away. Dark coloe lirs were nice, he had always heard that the darkest hour is that before the dawn and he liked that enough. Sometimes he wondered what was exactly the reason he had for enjoy painting in the way he did. Maybe there was no reason at all, he thought, as he began tracing the outlines of closer trees, all devoid of leaves since he was painting a winter scene. There was something soothing in painting: trying to find the perfect blend of colors that would make everything much more realistic, helped the artist to forget about all his other problems and only focus on what he was doing, on the creations he was making. It wasn't easy, though, when he was listening to someone sighing dramatically every five seconds or so.
"Are you done?" asked the artist, mildly irritated. "You know that I shouldn't get distracted and you're not helping at all."
"I'm sorry," said his friend, checking the hour on the clock in the wall for the eleventh time. "It's just that we told Geri we'd meet him at 10 and we only have like half an hour."
"Is it really that late?" asked the artist looking up. "I must have lost track of time..."
"Again," huffed his friend almost patronizingly. "Honestly, Leo, if it weren't for Gerard and me, you would probably forget about living."
"That's not true. Just because I get distracted every now and then doesn't mean anything."
"Everyday, you mean. C'mon, let's go now. You know how Gerard is."
"Fine, fine."
Lionel smiled half-heartedly as Cesc dragged him out of his studio. Sometimes he thought his best friend was right, but he wasn't going to admit that out loud, just in case his friend might get too smug. It was just easy to live that way, focused on his paintings, because all those scenes, all those animals he sometimes painted, all those portraits he still had, all those things gave him the soothing silence he needed to heal all the wounds that still bleed inside him, wounds he never really wanted to discuss with his friends, because they would only worry about him. The Argentine smiled again, when Cesc opened up the passenger's door and got inside the car, already resigned to spend the whole drive to Gerard's place, and probably to the restaurant listening to whatever Cesc wanted them to listen to.
"Oh, don't make that face, the music ain't that bad," he said when he noticed the way Lionel rolled his eyes as soon as the music filled the silence.
"I haven't done anything."
"Yeah, you're about to complain about the music, I know you well enough."
"It's your car, Cesc," Lionel said and slid down to get comfortable as his Catalan friend began mouthing the lyrics with enthusiasm.
They arrived to Gerard's place and heard him talking with someone on the phone, he sounded excited and was saying things that would have probably sound better if said in person and that made Lionel felt awkard. Maybe his friends were right and he hadn't been laid in a while now. Cesc offered him a glass of wine which he gladly accepted as Gerard went to and fro the rooms talking with who knew who that apparently had green eyes and lovely smile. The dark-haired Catalan immediately began catcalling after Gerard and managed to dodge a towel that was sent flying in their general direction.
"Sooo, who's the lucky guy?" he asked casually when Gerard hang up.
"Bojan," Gerard answer as he grabbed his jacket and they exited the place. "I think I must have mentioned him, before, no?"
"Right, the kid you're banging, yeah, I remember you've talked about him before," Cesc said and Gerard mocking hit him in the arm. "Hey, last time I checked he was what? 15?"
Lionel climbed on the car again, feeling something in his stomach that wasn't comfortable at all. Inwardly he was just hoping that they would shut up because he wasn't in the mood of listening to them. It wasn't easy when he kept watching his face on his thoughts over and over. He barely noticed when they stopped talking and only focused on the road ahead of them. Silence was soothing and he wanted to enjoy it. Luckily for them, Gerard had found something in the radio that wasn't as noisy as Cesc's music, it was some female singer with a very noticeable voice, but those were some slow songs and they were fine, provided he didn't focus on the lyrics, everything would be fine. Lionel had to admit that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea that Cesc insisted on spending his free time with him, or that he seemed so keen on the three of them going out everywhere as much as he could. After all, his friends had been there and had witnessed all the misery he had created when he left. Inwardly, Leo flinched. It was pathetic just how well aware he was of all the time that had passed. Just five years, six months, two weeks and three days by then.
"Earth to Leo," Gerard's booming voice cut his train of thought. "Is everything alright?"
"Sorry, I got distracted."
"We barely noticed," Cesc commented dryly. "It will actually be a miracle if you ever manage to spend a night without being distracted."
"I told you I'm sorry. I'm just worried about the upcoming exposition," he half lied, that exposition was on his mind as well, it wasn't his priority, though, but it certainly was there.
"Oh, c'mon, you can't be worried about that!" Cesc complained. "You're a genius, you probably have the whole thing prepared by now."
"I don't, and you have met Xavi before, you know how he is," Leo replied as the waiter put the dishes in front of them. "He's got, I don't know, he likes everything to be perfect."
"He's obsessive, in a good way, I guess," Gerard mused. "I wouldn't have lasted long working with him. I'm more the relax type you know?"
"You should have met him before he began dating AndrÈs," Lionel smiled to himself. "He was way worse."
"You know what they say," Cesc told him. "Sometimes love brings out the best of us."
"Yeah... that's what they say," Leo nodded his head and bit his lip.
They laughed and raised their glasses to make a toast for many things: their friendship, other friends they have known, the people they were interested in, at that point Lionel smiled politely, and many other things. They ate in silence, or at least in the middle of jokes and comments about people Lionel couldn't even remember. At one certain point, they got back talking about the men they were in love with. Or at least Cesc and Gerard did as Lionel tried his best to pay attention and not begin fantasizing again.
"You say that Bojan is not a kid," Cesc said. "He certainly looks like one, though."
"He'll be 19 in three weeks, I'm really looking forward that date," Gerard grinned and showed them a picture of Bojan and him, taken somewhere in Rome. "I have many things in mind."
Lionel saw the young man, who was beaming. He looked younger than he was probably because of all the happiness he had and yet, Lionel could only be remembered of him and David back when everything was fine and they were alright, or Lionel thought they were alright. Before David decided to leave everything behind to go looking for someone else and left Lionel nursing his broken heart for the first time. He inwardly hoped they would never end up that way, because no one ever deserved that amount of pain. No one did. He looked away because he felt the unwanted lump in the throat making it hard to speak.
"You look happy, I'm glad for you guys," Cesc said and Lionel nodded, thankful that Cesc kept talking.
"We are," Gerard confirmed and turned to look at Cesc. "How about you and Casillas? Still letting that man do bad things to you?"
"Yeah, you know? He ties me to his bed and touches me wearing only his goalkeeper gloves. He enjoys a lot being a goalkeeper on his freetime and we have tons of fun afterwards." Cesc said and grinned in a way that only reminded Leo of how boring his sex life was after David had felt.
"Kinky, I might have wanted to meet him before I met Bojan, so tell me: is he into threesomes?" Gerard asked teasingly and Cesc only hit his arms playfully. "What? Is a very valid question, I still remember the fun we had with that friend of yours... what was his name? Fernando?"
"Guys, please, can you keep your fantasies, or well, whatever it was you had done, to yourselves, please?" Lionel said feeling awkward again. "I don't really want to hear about them."
"Awwww we can have an orgy if you want," Gerard tried to hug him and Lionel mouthed him to 'fuck off'. "Yeah, I want to get inside your pants too, a bit skinny but, hey, I'm sure we can make it work out."
"Yeah well, you can forget about it. I'm certainly not having sex with you. Neither of you," Lionel told them and Gerard rolled his eyes dramatically.
"All jokes aside," Cesc said becoming serious suddenly. "We've been thinking that maybe you should really start seeing someone, Leo."
"I'm seeing you," Lionel replied and shifted in his seat, not liking where that conversation was heading. "That's the reason we're here having dinner, no?"
"I meant it in a romantic way," Cesc continued and Lionel moved uncomfortably. "You haven't seen no one since David."
The sound of his name made Lionel grit his teeth and grab the fork with unnecesary force before Gerard's hands made him let go of it. He knew he shouldn't react that way, but it couldn't be helped, he was still not used to hearing his name and feeling nothing at all. Maybe it was true what they said and first love was the strongest one. Maybe David had been right all along and love was the power others had to destroy someone. David certainly had that power in his hands even if he wasn't probably aware of it.
"You should really stop reacting that way everytime you hear his name," Gerard told him as he offered a glass of water. "He meant a lot to you, but it didn't work out, he left and you have to move on. Life doesn't stop just because he's not in the big picture anymore."
"I know, I know, it's just..." Lionel ran a hand through his hair and let out a defeated sigh. "I dreamt with him last night."
Both Gerard and Cesc exchanged a look and Lionel felt like an insect about to be examined under a mycroscope. He didn't want to share that particular piece of information because he already knew that his friends didn't approve of anything that reminded him of David. It wasn't like Lionel had tried to do something drastic after he left, because that had never been the case, he thought it would be unfair to his friends to have even considered taking his life, but he had been very distant from them, choosing to stay a couple of years in Argentina, away from his friends and all the memories he had of David and him.
"You've been dreaming a lot about him, haven't you?" Cesc asked with narrowed eyes. "Last time that happened you spend two weeks without talking to anybody."
"That was different." Lionel said curtly.
"Different how?" Cesc continued. "Did you find out something that you never told us?"
"I ran into his sister," the Argentine explained in a very distracted tone.
The cold water had felt nice against his skin because it had refreshed him. It had been raining for the last couple of days and Lionel had thought that there was a nice effect in how leaves looked, as if someone had sprayed something over them, like diamond dust, making them shiny. He really had had fun painting those rainy scenes because of that shiny effect they had. He also had enjoyed the way the wet earth smelled and it was too bad that smells couldn't be portrayed in a painting, so he had to spend as much of his time as possible just filling his lungs with that rich smell that was bittersweet sometimes.
He had just come back from one of his usual walks when he had run into someone who was interested in getting some shelter from the rain. He had seen David's sister then, they had almost the same look in their eyes and something cold had run down the Argentine's spine. She had seen Leo and she had smiled sadly at him.
"I thought you had gone somewhere else, that someone might have discovered your talent and would have taken you somewhere else," she had said in a casual tone.
"I belong to this place, I guess," Lionel had answered and noticed the bump on her stomach. "Is it a boy or is it a girl?"
"They think it's a boy but I have the feeling it's a little lady in here," she had smiled at her womb. "David will be pleased either way, his first niece, or, nephew..."
"Yeah... David," Lionel had smiled awkwardly and she had blushed in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned him. It was for the best, though. Things have finally fallen in place."
"What is that even suppose to mean? That he found love at last? Well, I guess that at least one of us will be happy." Lionel had fought a tear from falling and had sighed. "Goodbye."
"I'm sorry, Lionel, I really am."
Someone nudged Leo on the ribs and cut his train of memories. The Argentine looked at Cesc and asked him what was the meaning of that and Cesc rolled his eyes.
"You're doing it again," he said and Lionel blushed.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "As I said, I dreamt of him again."
Lionel saw his friends as they went to Gerard's place because he wanted the smaller Catalan's opinion regarding some advertisements. The painter had declined the invitation, though, he had told them he wanted to walk, to clear his mind and after promising them that he'd call them as soon as he arrived home, they let him go. The night was rather cold and Leo regreted having left his jacket on Gerard's car, but since he didn't want to go home right in that moment, he tried to ignore the feeling. He began thinking about the painting he wanted to finish before Cesc grew impatient, maybe he should have it finished that same night.
He was wondering about the paintings, about the way the slimmer trees were curving gently with the wind, like his body had the first time David had taken him and after they were past the painful part of their secret dance, he saw a waterdrop rolling down a leaf and was reminded of the way his own sweatdrops rolled down his back as their bodies entwined. When he realized exactly what was he thinking about, Lionel blushed, maybe he should really begin dating someone else, if only to try and forget about the Asturian. The only thing he needed was to listen to his voice and he was probably not so far from that, he though upset.
"Lionel?"
The hair on the Argentine's neck stood as if his name had been said by a ghost. In a way it was, a ghost of his past, and he decided not to turn around because he was scared of what he might see. Mostly he was scared of seeing David happy, of seeing the living testimony of a man who had moved on and had found happiness elsewhere while he was still dreaming about him and loving him like he had when he was 17 years old. He let out the air he had been holding and after what seemed hours, he turned around and faced the same man who had left him behind so many years ago.
"D-David?" he stammered nervously.
He hated feeling so weak, but he couldn't help it. David had the irritating ability of doing that to him, even now when he was supposed to be stronger. Leo looked at the only man who had had the power of destroying him. David looked back at him and his eyes were still the same dark sea he wanted to get lost into. His heart was beating so loud, Lionel thought it might break his ribs and escape and tried to control the wild beating because he couldn't think and he needed to put his ideas in order. There were a lot of 'why's' on the tip of his tongue but nothing came out. David also had the power of rendering him speechless since the first time they had met. He gave it another try, though, and managed to at least stop looking like a child.
"What a coincidence that we should meet in this place," David commented after his initial surprise was over. "Don't you agree?"
"It's just a coincidence," Lionel replied feeling his knees going weak.
"Yeah, well, it looks more like a dÈj‡ vu to me," the Asturian smirked and moved closer and everything stopped making sense in Lionel's mind.
The first few steps were hesitant, almost blind, his brain told Leo that it wasn't wise, that he had suffered a lot before because of David's negative to stay and forget about his own ghosts. His heart, though, his heart guided his footsteps until their breaths met. Lionel heard the blood rushing towards his brain, deafening him momentarily. Then everything was all David: his smell, his skin, his strong hands pressed on the small of Lionel's back and his tongue probing for an entrance. It was easy to give in, like he had done before and forget about everything else. David, who was as perfect as he could remember and whose lips tasted like all the freedom he had missed in five years and a half.
"It's okay if you don't want to do this," David had whispered against Lionel's ear as he laid him against the bed of leaves and soil. "You can tell me to stop."
"I want to do this, I really do," Lionel had told him with the same nervous excitement that he felt.
They had kissed once, twice, the taste would linger in Lionel's lips afterwards. David's hands had moved expertly over his skin and he had shivered because of his excitement and not because he was scared, he was, though, this was something big and he didn't want to risk ruining it. He had tried to focus on the way the soil felt under his fingertips as David had pressed his cock against the tight entrance. The Argentine had tried not to focus on the pain, even if it was almost unbereable the way his muscles were stretched in ways he had never known were possible, he had tried to focus on the feelings, instead, he had marvelled because of the way his body felt somewhat complete, of they way they had fit, like pieces of the same puzzle and had wondered if it would be the same with someone else.
"This is going to be worth the pain," David had said against his ear as he began thrusting in and out following only the erratic rhythm of their hearts. "I can promise you that much."
"I know, I... I believe you," Lionel had mumbled as he had clung to David as if his life had depended on it.
They were moving together, like before, David was still thrusting in and out and Lionel was still arching like a bow everytime he found the bundle of nerves that had him writhing and swearing. The Argentine looked at their shadows reflected on the wall and thought it was as if they were entangled forever, the shadows didn't allow them to see where one ended and where the other started and it gave their meeting a much profound meaning. If only they had been like their shadows, they would have never parted ways, or so Lionel thought feeling slightly dejected. He didn't have much time for that though, because soon David was filling him with his warm seed and he cried out loud his name, not realizing how soothing it felt as it caressed his tongue and disappeared in thin air.
"I had no idea you were still here," David whispered as he ran his fingers over Lionel's back. "I never thought we'd meet again."
"I thought your sister had told you she saw me here," Lionel replied and didn't protest when David moved to kiss his neck.
"She did, I just thought you'd move afterwards," David kept drawing abstract lines over the Argentine's back and it felt oddly right. "I guess you're still painting."
"That's the only thing I'm good at," Lionel looked around him and saw the furniture still covered. "Are you leaving soon?"
"I just arrived," David replied. "I don't have scheduled to leave just yet."
Lionel didn't answer. He was still trying to figure out his feelings, there must have been something wrong when he decided to fall back into David's arms, but he couldn't find out why. Sex had been what it was before, perfect, wonderful, his mind was telling him to go and never come back again, and his heart, well, his heart wasn't saying much really. He heard a noise, like the fluttering of wings and he looked up at a bird cage covered that rested over a table. The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly, he surely remember that cage, it's ocuppant had had the most beautiful song he had ever heard.
"You brought the canary," he said when he heard the fluttering wings again. "How is he?"
David smiled sadly. "Unfortunately the bird you met died."
"How?" Lionel felt his brow frowning, the canary hadn't been that old and it had looked healthy.
"His partner died, she got an egg stuck inside and... well... he died of sadness. Some canaries are rather faithful, they won't take another partner and they just die. The one the cage is their kid, Zaida decided to call him "Canario"."
"Who's Zaida?" he shouldn't be asking those questions, for all he knew Zaida could be his wife or his daughter or stepdaughter...
"She's my niece. Patricia's first child. She was pregnant when you saw her here, right?"
"Ah, yes, now I remember..." it should have bother the artist that he felt relief, he wasn't sure what he would have done if David had told him she was his daughter, or wife.
"You can see Canario in the morning, if you want," David sighed and pressed his body closer. "Of course, I'll understand if you don't want to stay."
"I need to go home, I bet Cesc and Gerard might worry... I," he began getting dressed, still wondering what they were going to do. "Goodbye."
"Goodbye," David looked at him ruefully. "I'd like to see you again, though."
"I don't know, honestly," Lionel said as he walked to the door. "You once told me that sex changed nothing and tonight I can finally understand you."
When Lionel arrived home, he threw himself over his bed, not caring about the smell of sex clinging to his body. He was too tired to even considering taking a shower even if he probably needed one. He wanted to take off the smell of David's body, not because it was unpleasent, but because it confused him; he wanted to erase all those kisses he had left over his skin, and yet, he was just too tired to do anything about it. He reached out and look at the screen of his mobile: there were some messages waiting for him: three from Cesc and another from an unknown number he thought he knew very well. He tossed the gadget aside and tried to gain some sleep, hoping he wouldn't have to dream with David again.
"Have you ever loved someone, David?" Lionel had asked as they had been watching the sunset. "Do you believe in love?"
"All I know about love," David's voice had had a cold edge to it. "Is that it gives the others the power to destroy us."
Lionel had immediately wondered if someone had ever hurt him abusing that power. The teenager had reached out and had squeezed the Asturian's fingers, trying to reassure him. David had kissed the teenager then and Lionel had almost forgotten about his questions when the older man had sighed. It had been important, because Lionel had been sure that David had wanted to open up to him and he had wanted so much to understand him.
"I met this person when I was on a trip to Gran Canaria," he had said. "We loved each other and we were happy, but..." David had stopped and had bitten on his lower lip for some minutes.
"It wasn't mean to be?" Lionel had quipped in a low voice.
"He loved swimming and breeding canaries. His family owned one of the species that sang most beautifully, even more than you can imagine. Those feathered balls were his pride because he had fed them with his own hands and they sang for him... he raised one of his birds to sing to us and then..." David's eyes had been shining with tears.
"It's okay, David, I'm with you." Lionel had wrapped his arms around David and he had heard him cry desperate sobs.
Lionel woke up and cursed all those memories for intruding his dreams. Then, upon realizing he wouldn't get any decent sleep that night, he climbed off the bed and went to his unfinished painting. The brush touched the canvas leaving behind a trail of gray, black, purple and it became something much more complex than just lines entwined. All those lines were telling a story, sort of. Winter was shadowy and had many different layers of complexity. It was cold, like it had been when David had said goodbye. The only light on the picture came from those yellow lights on the clouds, the calm after the storm, the relative calm he had been living when he moved back to his mother's house, where he had to pretend everything was fine and where he could nurse his broken heart until it mended.
His phone began ringing again and he answered at the second ring.
"Where have you been?" It was Cesc, of course. "I've left you like a thousand messages!"
"I turned off the phone, I'm sorry. I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah... I'm sure," he wasn't about to discuss the fact that he had gone and slept with David again, not even with Cesc. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow, okay."
Before going back to sleep, or attempting doing so, Lionel took an empty piece of paper and a pencil from his drawer and he began drawing lines and shadows. When he was done, David's black eyes were staring back at him from the paper. They weren't as expressive as the real ones but it was enough to make his heart summersault inside his chest. He hurriedly put the paper back inside and tried to forget he had drawn it in the first place. If only he could decide what he wanted to do now that he had seen him again, he turned and tossed and tried to fall asleep, hoping he wouldn't have to wake up again to unwanted memories.
Xavi arrived to the studio first thing in the morning and immediately demanded to see all the paintings he had done. He was busy arrenging things over the phone with people Lionel had never heard of before, and kept talking really fast. When he hung up, he began talking about each and every painting and saying stuff about the type of brushes and the amount of color used on each line. It was annoyingly flattering in a way, but Lionel wasn't going to say that, he knew exactly how perfectionist Xavi was.
"About time you found your muses again, Lionel," Xavi told him as he examined the paintings closer. "How long you spend painting this one? I'd dare saying it was really quick."
"I don't know," Lionel answered truthfully as he offered his friend a cup of coffee. "You know that I miss track of time when I'm doing something I love."
"That's true, that's true," Xavi mused and took a sip of coffee. "Well, unless you want to do something else to them, I think we can have them taken to the gallery."
"That's what you do, you can take them today if you want to."
"Excellent, we still need to do many things for this exposition," Xavi took out his mobile. "There's gonna be a very important person there, I have the feeling he's going to be thoroughly impressed."
"Why would he? I mean, it's just a bunch of Nature scenes," Lionel replied feeling uncomfortable. "Nothing too wonderful."
"Whatever you say, Leo, whatever you say."
"Wake up," David had whispered softly against his ear and Lionel had made a funny sound. "Sleepyhead, wake up."
"Why?" his voice had croaked and he had rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It's dark outside, I can't see a thing."
"I know," David had touched his cheeks with his nose and Lionel had finally woken up. "The darkest hour is always the one before dawn."
"What does that mean?"
"Sometimes you'll face the darkest times before you can be able to see the light again," David had answered casually and Lionel hadn't liked his tone, as if he were suggesting any separation between them.
"I don't want to see anything, I just need to feel you."
And so saying he had let his hand wander wildly, gropping until it had found the bulge on David's pants. He hadn't need light to touch him there and to hear him moan. He hadn't need to see anything to take down the trousers and underwear. He had only needed to feel the skin under his fingertips as it had burned steadily, as those heartbeats had told him where to touch, how to move. He had only need his sheer instinct to impale himself slowly in David's cock, so hard and perfect. They hadn't need to see the other, just to feel the heat, the rhythm, the bond between them as they had moved like one being. Dawn had begun painting the sky with rosie tones as they had reached their climax in a powerful embrace.
"I love you," Lionel had definitely felt David stiffened as he had said those words, but in that moment, as happy as he had been, he had pretended not to notice.
People were gathered in the big room that was making Lionel dizzy already. Xavi had already introduced him to almost everyone present there and he had forgotten half the names as soon as they were said but he tried to go on smiling like he had heard he should. He greeted his friends, he let Gerard introduce Bojan to them and greeted Iker politely when Cesc reintroduced them. He thought it was good for them if they were so happy. Xavi dragged him every now and then away and he heard people he hadn't even met congratulating him on his paintings.
"You could get something big. London, New York... I've heard that El Prado is also interested," Xavi told him as they walked around. "Do you want to travel?"
"Not really," Leo replied and took a sip of his glass. "I enjoy tranquility, you know?"
"Of course I do, I'll never get over that trip you made to Rosario, the one you didn't tell people about, remember?" Xavi shook his head. "I was so afraid you might have done something drastic..."
"I wouldn't have..."
"Still, you had us really worried then, it was a good it was only a crisis, I guess," he sighed and Lionel let his eyes wander around the room so big and noisy.
"I thought you were going to introduce me to someone," Lionel said. "Have you done that yet? I'm sure you've introduced me with everybody here. Was it that photographer? The one glued to the Scouser guy?"
"Xabi? No. He came here to get his pretty pictures about the exposition, a good friend of mine, but not the person I was talking about. Neither was Steven, or the Scouser guy as you called him, he's a journalist but it wasn't him."
"Then who is this person?"
"Rich guy, he lived here for a little while before he had to go back to some island... not sure whether it was Riazor or Canaria. He'd be your type, tragic romance and all that. He lost someone he loved dearly but of course, that's not something you'd like to talk with him about. Oh, speaking of the devil..."
Lionel turned around and it was almost as if someone had moved the ground under his feet. It was David, and he'd honestly be cursed if he had thought something else. The smile froze on his face and it was hard pretending that he hadn't met the guy before because he had. It was just ironic that Xavi had described him as being 'his type', what was that even suppose to mean anyway? That he was attracted to guys with tragic pasts or what? He heard Xavi talking, or well, he could see him moving his mouth but couldn't get any word that was coming out of it. He lost any hope of Cesc and Gerard looking into their direction because they were in the secluded part of the room and he had lost view of his friends a long time ago.
"This is Lionel, of course," it took him some minutes before he could finally identify the sounds coming out Xavi's mouth, and he nodded soppily.
"Nice to meet you," David shook his hand and it felt warm. "I have no idea someone so young could be so interested in Nature scenes. I particularly enjoy the 'Foscor' one."
"The darkest hour is that before dawn," Lionel replied and they both went silent for some minutes, remembering what had happened after that conversation had taken place.
"Glad to see you're getting along so well," Xavi smiled and took his cellphone. "Now, if you must excuse me, I've got a call to make..."
When Lionel had reached David's place, the lights were on and it had sounded as if someone were in a hurry to leave. Inside, David had been calling someone, pleading with them to stay where they were. Lionel had opened up the door and had seen David as he was hastily taking his stuff out. The Asturian had looked as if he hadn't slept in days, there had been bags under his eyes and his hair had been sticking up in every possible direction. Lionel had also seen the bags on the floor, indicating that his lover was about to leave and there was no way of knowing if they'd ever meet again. Something cold had sent shivers down the Argentine's back, and it had been an unpleasent feeling.
"David?" Lionel's voice had sounded weak but he was somewhat heard. "Where are you going?"
"I'm sorry, kid," he had said sounding upset. "I'm sorry things couldn't go the way you wanted, I must go now."
Only then did Lionel had noticed the presence of other men carrying things out the house. One of them had taken the cage and another one had sent a look to David that Lionel hadn't known how to decipher. The Asturian had shook his head at the man and he had left with the others. They had been alone in the middle of an empty house.
"I'm really sorry," David had said finally, after what had seemed like an eternity and he had moved to leave.
Lionel had done then the only thing that had made sense: he had hugged the older man from behind, pressing his face against the same back he had scratched with his fingernails not so long ago. His lips had murmured words no one else could hear, and David had stiffened under his touch again, as if Lionel were making things extra complicated with his clinging behaviour. His hand had let go of the bag he had and he had touched Lionel's hands with his.
"Stay with me, please," it had been pathetic but it had been the best Lionel could have offered then. "Just stay."
"We both know I can't do that," David had answered and he had pried the young Argentine's hands away. "Take care of yourself, Leo."
"Are you ok?" David asked as he examined Lionel closer, the Argentine blushed when he realized he was getting distracted again. "You look a bit pale, maybe you need some air?"
"Maybe," Lionel agreed and they both walked outside, away from the noise and the people and everything. "I should've asked Xavi to tell me about you before, maybe then I wouldn't have been so surprised."
"Or you would've come up with some excuse to avoid me, right?" David said looking at the horizon.
"Probably," Lionel conceded, then he stayed silent.
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"You're lying, you're a bad liar, by the way. Now tell me, what is it?"
"It's just..." Lionel bit his lower lip. "Xavi was telling me about you and... well... he kinda said you were the type of the... tragic romances? Something like that, I'm sure I should have listened to him better, I'm sorry."
"Tragic romances..." David let out the air he had been holding and shook his head. "These people have wild imagination, wilder than yours."
"So is it not true then?" Lionel asked and barely realized he was leaning closer, as if they didn't want to let the secret of their conversation out. "That you've got tragic romances?"
"There was someone... you remember David?" at Lionel's puzzled look, David chuckled. "Sorry, maybe I didn't mention his name. Ok, the guy from Gran Canarias? His name was David, and as I told you before, we were in love, but... I guess I never told you the whole story, no?"
"No... you didn't."
"Well, one day he disappeared, just like that, as if he had vanished in thin air. I only got information of his whereabouts until after we have met, which was the reason I had to leave: I had a lead on him and wasn't about to lose him again, so I left you and went to find him. I loved him that much."
"Yeah," Lionel feigned a smile. "I can imagine."
"You deserved better than me, I never thought we could have work out back then. You were so young, you deserved to meet people, to make choices and I was still too much in love with David as to offer you those things."
"What happened with him?" Lionel asked and David shook his head again.
"He had an accident. He went out swimming and... I don't know how he... I held his cold, dead body, you know?"
"I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"I know, I know... it's hard talking about that, though."
They stayed in silence again, Lionel's mind was still processing what he had heard, he wasn't entirely sure where did David's return put them, though. Was it suppose to be a sign for them to be together? He had no idea. The chemistry they had had before was still there, he had found it in the way David's hands had touched him, as if he had never left, as if they had never stopped making love.
"Where does this leave us?" he asked even if he wasn't sure he wanted those words out his mouth, but they were out anyway so he didn't say anything to rephrase it.
"Sex is still quite good," David offered and grinned slyly making Lionel blush. "We can go on from there."
"I might have to travel soon," Lionel warned him as he pointed towards where Xavi was. "He'll want me to travel a lot."
"I can't ask you to stay," David said looking him in the eye. "Because it won't be fair to you. I can promise to wait for you, though, if you want me to."
In that moment Cesc went out, and pretty much dragged Lionel to the inside.
"You. Inside. Now. I'll talk to you later," he added pointing to where David was still standing. "Can't believe it, I leave you alone for a second and you go and begin flirting with your beloved David."
"Wait, you knew it was David?" Lionel asked feeling confused.
"My boyfriend's best friend's boyfriend is a journalist," Cesc said rolling his eyes and pointing towards where Steven and Xabi were standing. "Of course I knew, besides, you're the most obvious person in the world, did you really think I believed you had just turned off your phone? Please, you smelled of sex even over the phone... and Sergi kinda saw you leaving with David." he added hastily when Lionel stared at him.
"I forgot you had friends everywhere," the Argentine rolled his eyes. "I'm guessing half the people in this room know by now."
"They don't, they would have known, though, you were pretty much having sex out there," Cesc stared at him and shook his head. "Are you sure you'll be alright? Because if that man dares leaving you again, well, I'll go and have Iker kick his ass so hard he won't be able to feel it again."
Lionel looked at his best friend and half smiled, maybe he should really let David wait for him, after all.
"The darkest hour is the one before the dawn," he said and Cesc raised a brow. "I've been through the darkest moments already, I think... I think that maybe it's time to enjoy the dawn."
The brush met the white canvas and left behind a trail of pink, purple and orange. The clouds looked as if they had been made with velvety tones of said colours, as if the sun were hiding behind them. The blend was unique in the sky and the artist wanted to reproduce as much of it faithfully over the canvas. A soft smile appeared on his face as strong hands sneaked up from behind him and stubbled cheeks caressed his own.
"I had no idea you had a thing for painting around the house naked," David whispered against his ear and his hand moved downwards. "Not that I mind that much."
"It's a hot morning," Lionel said. "I can go around my own house naked if I want."
"I agree," the Asturian replied and Lionel knew that he wouldn't get that painting made in that moment. "We need to make up for those days you spent in Madrid, though."
Maybe he could get used to those distractions, after all.
Pairing: Messi/Villa
Rating: R
Word Count: 7,698
Summary: Lionel is a painter and David is a rich man. They met five years before and David have to leave, ignoring Leo's wishes for him to stay, when they meet again they get another chance of repainting on the white canvas of their story.
Author spartan_muse
Mixer: distira
Download Mix Here
The brush met the soft, white surface of the canvas and left behind a faint trace of blue which would probably become a forrest seen from far away. Dark coloe lirs were nice, he had always heard that the darkest hour is that before the dawn and he liked that enough. Sometimes he wondered what was exactly the reason he had for enjoy painting in the way he did. Maybe there was no reason at all, he thought, as he began tracing the outlines of closer trees, all devoid of leaves since he was painting a winter scene. There was something soothing in painting: trying to find the perfect blend of colors that would make everything much more realistic, helped the artist to forget about all his other problems and only focus on what he was doing, on the creations he was making. It wasn't easy, though, when he was listening to someone sighing dramatically every five seconds or so.
"Are you done?" asked the artist, mildly irritated. "You know that I shouldn't get distracted and you're not helping at all."
"I'm sorry," said his friend, checking the hour on the clock in the wall for the eleventh time. "It's just that we told Geri we'd meet him at 10 and we only have like half an hour."
"Is it really that late?" asked the artist looking up. "I must have lost track of time..."
"Again," huffed his friend almost patronizingly. "Honestly, Leo, if it weren't for Gerard and me, you would probably forget about living."
"That's not true. Just because I get distracted every now and then doesn't mean anything."
"Everyday, you mean. C'mon, let's go now. You know how Gerard is."
"Fine, fine."
Lionel smiled half-heartedly as Cesc dragged him out of his studio. Sometimes he thought his best friend was right, but he wasn't going to admit that out loud, just in case his friend might get too smug. It was just easy to live that way, focused on his paintings, because all those scenes, all those animals he sometimes painted, all those portraits he still had, all those things gave him the soothing silence he needed to heal all the wounds that still bleed inside him, wounds he never really wanted to discuss with his friends, because they would only worry about him. The Argentine smiled again, when Cesc opened up the passenger's door and got inside the car, already resigned to spend the whole drive to Gerard's place, and probably to the restaurant listening to whatever Cesc wanted them to listen to.
"Oh, don't make that face, the music ain't that bad," he said when he noticed the way Lionel rolled his eyes as soon as the music filled the silence.
"I haven't done anything."
"Yeah, you're about to complain about the music, I know you well enough."
"It's your car, Cesc," Lionel said and slid down to get comfortable as his Catalan friend began mouthing the lyrics with enthusiasm.
They arrived to Gerard's place and heard him talking with someone on the phone, he sounded excited and was saying things that would have probably sound better if said in person and that made Lionel felt awkard. Maybe his friends were right and he hadn't been laid in a while now. Cesc offered him a glass of wine which he gladly accepted as Gerard went to and fro the rooms talking with who knew who that apparently had green eyes and lovely smile. The dark-haired Catalan immediately began catcalling after Gerard and managed to dodge a towel that was sent flying in their general direction.
"Sooo, who's the lucky guy?" he asked casually when Gerard hang up.
"Bojan," Gerard answer as he grabbed his jacket and they exited the place. "I think I must have mentioned him, before, no?"
"Right, the kid you're banging, yeah, I remember you've talked about him before," Cesc said and Gerard mocking hit him in the arm. "Hey, last time I checked he was what? 15?"
Lionel climbed on the car again, feeling something in his stomach that wasn't comfortable at all. Inwardly he was just hoping that they would shut up because he wasn't in the mood of listening to them. It wasn't easy when he kept watching his face on his thoughts over and over. He barely noticed when they stopped talking and only focused on the road ahead of them. Silence was soothing and he wanted to enjoy it. Luckily for them, Gerard had found something in the radio that wasn't as noisy as Cesc's music, it was some female singer with a very noticeable voice, but those were some slow songs and they were fine, provided he didn't focus on the lyrics, everything would be fine. Lionel had to admit that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea that Cesc insisted on spending his free time with him, or that he seemed so keen on the three of them going out everywhere as much as he could. After all, his friends had been there and had witnessed all the misery he had created when he left. Inwardly, Leo flinched. It was pathetic just how well aware he was of all the time that had passed. Just five years, six months, two weeks and three days by then.
"Earth to Leo," Gerard's booming voice cut his train of thought. "Is everything alright?"
"Sorry, I got distracted."
"We barely noticed," Cesc commented dryly. "It will actually be a miracle if you ever manage to spend a night without being distracted."
"I told you I'm sorry. I'm just worried about the upcoming exposition," he half lied, that exposition was on his mind as well, it wasn't his priority, though, but it certainly was there.
"Oh, c'mon, you can't be worried about that!" Cesc complained. "You're a genius, you probably have the whole thing prepared by now."
"I don't, and you have met Xavi before, you know how he is," Leo replied as the waiter put the dishes in front of them. "He's got, I don't know, he likes everything to be perfect."
"He's obsessive, in a good way, I guess," Gerard mused. "I wouldn't have lasted long working with him. I'm more the relax type you know?"
"You should have met him before he began dating AndrÈs," Lionel smiled to himself. "He was way worse."
"You know what they say," Cesc told him. "Sometimes love brings out the best of us."
"Yeah... that's what they say," Leo nodded his head and bit his lip.
They laughed and raised their glasses to make a toast for many things: their friendship, other friends they have known, the people they were interested in, at that point Lionel smiled politely, and many other things. They ate in silence, or at least in the middle of jokes and comments about people Lionel couldn't even remember. At one certain point, they got back talking about the men they were in love with. Or at least Cesc and Gerard did as Lionel tried his best to pay attention and not begin fantasizing again.
"You say that Bojan is not a kid," Cesc said. "He certainly looks like one, though."
"He'll be 19 in three weeks, I'm really looking forward that date," Gerard grinned and showed them a picture of Bojan and him, taken somewhere in Rome. "I have many things in mind."
Lionel saw the young man, who was beaming. He looked younger than he was probably because of all the happiness he had and yet, Lionel could only be remembered of him and David back when everything was fine and they were alright, or Lionel thought they were alright. Before David decided to leave everything behind to go looking for someone else and left Lionel nursing his broken heart for the first time. He inwardly hoped they would never end up that way, because no one ever deserved that amount of pain. No one did. He looked away because he felt the unwanted lump in the throat making it hard to speak.
"You look happy, I'm glad for you guys," Cesc said and Lionel nodded, thankful that Cesc kept talking.
"We are," Gerard confirmed and turned to look at Cesc. "How about you and Casillas? Still letting that man do bad things to you?"
"Yeah, you know? He ties me to his bed and touches me wearing only his goalkeeper gloves. He enjoys a lot being a goalkeeper on his freetime and we have tons of fun afterwards." Cesc said and grinned in a way that only reminded Leo of how boring his sex life was after David had felt.
"Kinky, I might have wanted to meet him before I met Bojan, so tell me: is he into threesomes?" Gerard asked teasingly and Cesc only hit his arms playfully. "What? Is a very valid question, I still remember the fun we had with that friend of yours... what was his name? Fernando?"
"Guys, please, can you keep your fantasies, or well, whatever it was you had done, to yourselves, please?" Lionel said feeling awkward again. "I don't really want to hear about them."
"Awwww we can have an orgy if you want," Gerard tried to hug him and Lionel mouthed him to 'fuck off'. "Yeah, I want to get inside your pants too, a bit skinny but, hey, I'm sure we can make it work out."
"Yeah well, you can forget about it. I'm certainly not having sex with you. Neither of you," Lionel told them and Gerard rolled his eyes dramatically.
"All jokes aside," Cesc said becoming serious suddenly. "We've been thinking that maybe you should really start seeing someone, Leo."
"I'm seeing you," Lionel replied and shifted in his seat, not liking where that conversation was heading. "That's the reason we're here having dinner, no?"
"I meant it in a romantic way," Cesc continued and Lionel moved uncomfortably. "You haven't seen no one since David."
The sound of his name made Lionel grit his teeth and grab the fork with unnecesary force before Gerard's hands made him let go of it. He knew he shouldn't react that way, but it couldn't be helped, he was still not used to hearing his name and feeling nothing at all. Maybe it was true what they said and first love was the strongest one. Maybe David had been right all along and love was the power others had to destroy someone. David certainly had that power in his hands even if he wasn't probably aware of it.
"You should really stop reacting that way everytime you hear his name," Gerard told him as he offered a glass of water. "He meant a lot to you, but it didn't work out, he left and you have to move on. Life doesn't stop just because he's not in the big picture anymore."
"I know, I know, it's just..." Lionel ran a hand through his hair and let out a defeated sigh. "I dreamt with him last night."
Both Gerard and Cesc exchanged a look and Lionel felt like an insect about to be examined under a mycroscope. He didn't want to share that particular piece of information because he already knew that his friends didn't approve of anything that reminded him of David. It wasn't like Lionel had tried to do something drastic after he left, because that had never been the case, he thought it would be unfair to his friends to have even considered taking his life, but he had been very distant from them, choosing to stay a couple of years in Argentina, away from his friends and all the memories he had of David and him.
"You've been dreaming a lot about him, haven't you?" Cesc asked with narrowed eyes. "Last time that happened you spend two weeks without talking to anybody."
"That was different." Lionel said curtly.
"Different how?" Cesc continued. "Did you find out something that you never told us?"
"I ran into his sister," the Argentine explained in a very distracted tone.
The cold water had felt nice against his skin because it had refreshed him. It had been raining for the last couple of days and Lionel had thought that there was a nice effect in how leaves looked, as if someone had sprayed something over them, like diamond dust, making them shiny. He really had had fun painting those rainy scenes because of that shiny effect they had. He also had enjoyed the way the wet earth smelled and it was too bad that smells couldn't be portrayed in a painting, so he had to spend as much of his time as possible just filling his lungs with that rich smell that was bittersweet sometimes.
He had just come back from one of his usual walks when he had run into someone who was interested in getting some shelter from the rain. He had seen David's sister then, they had almost the same look in their eyes and something cold had run down the Argentine's spine. She had seen Leo and she had smiled sadly at him.
"I thought you had gone somewhere else, that someone might have discovered your talent and would have taken you somewhere else," she had said in a casual tone.
"I belong to this place, I guess," Lionel had answered and noticed the bump on her stomach. "Is it a boy or is it a girl?"
"They think it's a boy but I have the feeling it's a little lady in here," she had smiled at her womb. "David will be pleased either way, his first niece, or, nephew..."
"Yeah... David," Lionel had smiled awkwardly and she had blushed in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned him. It was for the best, though. Things have finally fallen in place."
"What is that even suppose to mean? That he found love at last? Well, I guess that at least one of us will be happy." Lionel had fought a tear from falling and had sighed. "Goodbye."
"I'm sorry, Lionel, I really am."
Someone nudged Leo on the ribs and cut his train of memories. The Argentine looked at Cesc and asked him what was the meaning of that and Cesc rolled his eyes.
"You're doing it again," he said and Lionel blushed.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "As I said, I dreamt of him again."
Lionel saw his friends as they went to Gerard's place because he wanted the smaller Catalan's opinion regarding some advertisements. The painter had declined the invitation, though, he had told them he wanted to walk, to clear his mind and after promising them that he'd call them as soon as he arrived home, they let him go. The night was rather cold and Leo regreted having left his jacket on Gerard's car, but since he didn't want to go home right in that moment, he tried to ignore the feeling. He began thinking about the painting he wanted to finish before Cesc grew impatient, maybe he should have it finished that same night.
He was wondering about the paintings, about the way the slimmer trees were curving gently with the wind, like his body had the first time David had taken him and after they were past the painful part of their secret dance, he saw a waterdrop rolling down a leaf and was reminded of the way his own sweatdrops rolled down his back as their bodies entwined. When he realized exactly what was he thinking about, Lionel blushed, maybe he should really begin dating someone else, if only to try and forget about the Asturian. The only thing he needed was to listen to his voice and he was probably not so far from that, he though upset.
"Lionel?"
The hair on the Argentine's neck stood as if his name had been said by a ghost. In a way it was, a ghost of his past, and he decided not to turn around because he was scared of what he might see. Mostly he was scared of seeing David happy, of seeing the living testimony of a man who had moved on and had found happiness elsewhere while he was still dreaming about him and loving him like he had when he was 17 years old. He let out the air he had been holding and after what seemed hours, he turned around and faced the same man who had left him behind so many years ago.
"D-David?" he stammered nervously.
He hated feeling so weak, but he couldn't help it. David had the irritating ability of doing that to him, even now when he was supposed to be stronger. Leo looked at the only man who had had the power of destroying him. David looked back at him and his eyes were still the same dark sea he wanted to get lost into. His heart was beating so loud, Lionel thought it might break his ribs and escape and tried to control the wild beating because he couldn't think and he needed to put his ideas in order. There were a lot of 'why's' on the tip of his tongue but nothing came out. David also had the power of rendering him speechless since the first time they had met. He gave it another try, though, and managed to at least stop looking like a child.
"What a coincidence that we should meet in this place," David commented after his initial surprise was over. "Don't you agree?"
"It's just a coincidence," Lionel replied feeling his knees going weak.
"Yeah, well, it looks more like a dÈj‡ vu to me," the Asturian smirked and moved closer and everything stopped making sense in Lionel's mind.
The first few steps were hesitant, almost blind, his brain told Leo that it wasn't wise, that he had suffered a lot before because of David's negative to stay and forget about his own ghosts. His heart, though, his heart guided his footsteps until their breaths met. Lionel heard the blood rushing towards his brain, deafening him momentarily. Then everything was all David: his smell, his skin, his strong hands pressed on the small of Lionel's back and his tongue probing for an entrance. It was easy to give in, like he had done before and forget about everything else. David, who was as perfect as he could remember and whose lips tasted like all the freedom he had missed in five years and a half.
"It's okay if you don't want to do this," David had whispered against Lionel's ear as he laid him against the bed of leaves and soil. "You can tell me to stop."
"I want to do this, I really do," Lionel had told him with the same nervous excitement that he felt.
They had kissed once, twice, the taste would linger in Lionel's lips afterwards. David's hands had moved expertly over his skin and he had shivered because of his excitement and not because he was scared, he was, though, this was something big and he didn't want to risk ruining it. He had tried to focus on the way the soil felt under his fingertips as David had pressed his cock against the tight entrance. The Argentine had tried not to focus on the pain, even if it was almost unbereable the way his muscles were stretched in ways he had never known were possible, he had tried to focus on the feelings, instead, he had marvelled because of the way his body felt somewhat complete, of they way they had fit, like pieces of the same puzzle and had wondered if it would be the same with someone else.
"This is going to be worth the pain," David had said against his ear as he began thrusting in and out following only the erratic rhythm of their hearts. "I can promise you that much."
"I know, I... I believe you," Lionel had mumbled as he had clung to David as if his life had depended on it.
They were moving together, like before, David was still thrusting in and out and Lionel was still arching like a bow everytime he found the bundle of nerves that had him writhing and swearing. The Argentine looked at their shadows reflected on the wall and thought it was as if they were entangled forever, the shadows didn't allow them to see where one ended and where the other started and it gave their meeting a much profound meaning. If only they had been like their shadows, they would have never parted ways, or so Lionel thought feeling slightly dejected. He didn't have much time for that though, because soon David was filling him with his warm seed and he cried out loud his name, not realizing how soothing it felt as it caressed his tongue and disappeared in thin air.
"I had no idea you were still here," David whispered as he ran his fingers over Lionel's back. "I never thought we'd meet again."
"I thought your sister had told you she saw me here," Lionel replied and didn't protest when David moved to kiss his neck.
"She did, I just thought you'd move afterwards," David kept drawing abstract lines over the Argentine's back and it felt oddly right. "I guess you're still painting."
"That's the only thing I'm good at," Lionel looked around him and saw the furniture still covered. "Are you leaving soon?"
"I just arrived," David replied. "I don't have scheduled to leave just yet."
Lionel didn't answer. He was still trying to figure out his feelings, there must have been something wrong when he decided to fall back into David's arms, but he couldn't find out why. Sex had been what it was before, perfect, wonderful, his mind was telling him to go and never come back again, and his heart, well, his heart wasn't saying much really. He heard a noise, like the fluttering of wings and he looked up at a bird cage covered that rested over a table. The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly, he surely remember that cage, it's ocuppant had had the most beautiful song he had ever heard.
"You brought the canary," he said when he heard the fluttering wings again. "How is he?"
David smiled sadly. "Unfortunately the bird you met died."
"How?" Lionel felt his brow frowning, the canary hadn't been that old and it had looked healthy.
"His partner died, she got an egg stuck inside and... well... he died of sadness. Some canaries are rather faithful, they won't take another partner and they just die. The one the cage is their kid, Zaida decided to call him "Canario"."
"Who's Zaida?" he shouldn't be asking those questions, for all he knew Zaida could be his wife or his daughter or stepdaughter...
"She's my niece. Patricia's first child. She was pregnant when you saw her here, right?"
"Ah, yes, now I remember..." it should have bother the artist that he felt relief, he wasn't sure what he would have done if David had told him she was his daughter, or wife.
"You can see Canario in the morning, if you want," David sighed and pressed his body closer. "Of course, I'll understand if you don't want to stay."
"I need to go home, I bet Cesc and Gerard might worry... I," he began getting dressed, still wondering what they were going to do. "Goodbye."
"Goodbye," David looked at him ruefully. "I'd like to see you again, though."
"I don't know, honestly," Lionel said as he walked to the door. "You once told me that sex changed nothing and tonight I can finally understand you."
When Lionel arrived home, he threw himself over his bed, not caring about the smell of sex clinging to his body. He was too tired to even considering taking a shower even if he probably needed one. He wanted to take off the smell of David's body, not because it was unpleasent, but because it confused him; he wanted to erase all those kisses he had left over his skin, and yet, he was just too tired to do anything about it. He reached out and look at the screen of his mobile: there were some messages waiting for him: three from Cesc and another from an unknown number he thought he knew very well. He tossed the gadget aside and tried to gain some sleep, hoping he wouldn't have to dream with David again.
"Have you ever loved someone, David?" Lionel had asked as they had been watching the sunset. "Do you believe in love?"
"All I know about love," David's voice had had a cold edge to it. "Is that it gives the others the power to destroy us."
Lionel had immediately wondered if someone had ever hurt him abusing that power. The teenager had reached out and had squeezed the Asturian's fingers, trying to reassure him. David had kissed the teenager then and Lionel had almost forgotten about his questions when the older man had sighed. It had been important, because Lionel had been sure that David had wanted to open up to him and he had wanted so much to understand him.
"I met this person when I was on a trip to Gran Canaria," he had said. "We loved each other and we were happy, but..." David had stopped and had bitten on his lower lip for some minutes.
"It wasn't mean to be?" Lionel had quipped in a low voice.
"He loved swimming and breeding canaries. His family owned one of the species that sang most beautifully, even more than you can imagine. Those feathered balls were his pride because he had fed them with his own hands and they sang for him... he raised one of his birds to sing to us and then..." David's eyes had been shining with tears.
"It's okay, David, I'm with you." Lionel had wrapped his arms around David and he had heard him cry desperate sobs.
Lionel woke up and cursed all those memories for intruding his dreams. Then, upon realizing he wouldn't get any decent sleep that night, he climbed off the bed and went to his unfinished painting. The brush touched the canvas leaving behind a trail of gray, black, purple and it became something much more complex than just lines entwined. All those lines were telling a story, sort of. Winter was shadowy and had many different layers of complexity. It was cold, like it had been when David had said goodbye. The only light on the picture came from those yellow lights on the clouds, the calm after the storm, the relative calm he had been living when he moved back to his mother's house, where he had to pretend everything was fine and where he could nurse his broken heart until it mended.
His phone began ringing again and he answered at the second ring.
"Where have you been?" It was Cesc, of course. "I've left you like a thousand messages!"
"I turned off the phone, I'm sorry. I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah... I'm sure," he wasn't about to discuss the fact that he had gone and slept with David again, not even with Cesc. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow, okay."
Before going back to sleep, or attempting doing so, Lionel took an empty piece of paper and a pencil from his drawer and he began drawing lines and shadows. When he was done, David's black eyes were staring back at him from the paper. They weren't as expressive as the real ones but it was enough to make his heart summersault inside his chest. He hurriedly put the paper back inside and tried to forget he had drawn it in the first place. If only he could decide what he wanted to do now that he had seen him again, he turned and tossed and tried to fall asleep, hoping he wouldn't have to wake up again to unwanted memories.
Xavi arrived to the studio first thing in the morning and immediately demanded to see all the paintings he had done. He was busy arrenging things over the phone with people Lionel had never heard of before, and kept talking really fast. When he hung up, he began talking about each and every painting and saying stuff about the type of brushes and the amount of color used on each line. It was annoyingly flattering in a way, but Lionel wasn't going to say that, he knew exactly how perfectionist Xavi was.
"About time you found your muses again, Lionel," Xavi told him as he examined the paintings closer. "How long you spend painting this one? I'd dare saying it was really quick."
"I don't know," Lionel answered truthfully as he offered his friend a cup of coffee. "You know that I miss track of time when I'm doing something I love."
"That's true, that's true," Xavi mused and took a sip of coffee. "Well, unless you want to do something else to them, I think we can have them taken to the gallery."
"That's what you do, you can take them today if you want to."
"Excellent, we still need to do many things for this exposition," Xavi took out his mobile. "There's gonna be a very important person there, I have the feeling he's going to be thoroughly impressed."
"Why would he? I mean, it's just a bunch of Nature scenes," Lionel replied feeling uncomfortable. "Nothing too wonderful."
"Whatever you say, Leo, whatever you say."
"Wake up," David had whispered softly against his ear and Lionel had made a funny sound. "Sleepyhead, wake up."
"Why?" his voice had croaked and he had rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It's dark outside, I can't see a thing."
"I know," David had touched his cheeks with his nose and Lionel had finally woken up. "The darkest hour is always the one before dawn."
"What does that mean?"
"Sometimes you'll face the darkest times before you can be able to see the light again," David had answered casually and Lionel hadn't liked his tone, as if he were suggesting any separation between them.
"I don't want to see anything, I just need to feel you."
And so saying he had let his hand wander wildly, gropping until it had found the bulge on David's pants. He hadn't need light to touch him there and to hear him moan. He hadn't need to see anything to take down the trousers and underwear. He had only needed to feel the skin under his fingertips as it had burned steadily, as those heartbeats had told him where to touch, how to move. He had only need his sheer instinct to impale himself slowly in David's cock, so hard and perfect. They hadn't need to see the other, just to feel the heat, the rhythm, the bond between them as they had moved like one being. Dawn had begun painting the sky with rosie tones as they had reached their climax in a powerful embrace.
"I love you," Lionel had definitely felt David stiffened as he had said those words, but in that moment, as happy as he had been, he had pretended not to notice.
People were gathered in the big room that was making Lionel dizzy already. Xavi had already introduced him to almost everyone present there and he had forgotten half the names as soon as they were said but he tried to go on smiling like he had heard he should. He greeted his friends, he let Gerard introduce Bojan to them and greeted Iker politely when Cesc reintroduced them. He thought it was good for them if they were so happy. Xavi dragged him every now and then away and he heard people he hadn't even met congratulating him on his paintings.
"You could get something big. London, New York... I've heard that El Prado is also interested," Xavi told him as they walked around. "Do you want to travel?"
"Not really," Leo replied and took a sip of his glass. "I enjoy tranquility, you know?"
"Of course I do, I'll never get over that trip you made to Rosario, the one you didn't tell people about, remember?" Xavi shook his head. "I was so afraid you might have done something drastic..."
"I wouldn't have..."
"Still, you had us really worried then, it was a good it was only a crisis, I guess," he sighed and Lionel let his eyes wander around the room so big and noisy.
"I thought you were going to introduce me to someone," Lionel said. "Have you done that yet? I'm sure you've introduced me with everybody here. Was it that photographer? The one glued to the Scouser guy?"
"Xabi? No. He came here to get his pretty pictures about the exposition, a good friend of mine, but not the person I was talking about. Neither was Steven, or the Scouser guy as you called him, he's a journalist but it wasn't him."
"Then who is this person?"
"Rich guy, he lived here for a little while before he had to go back to some island... not sure whether it was Riazor or Canaria. He'd be your type, tragic romance and all that. He lost someone he loved dearly but of course, that's not something you'd like to talk with him about. Oh, speaking of the devil..."
Lionel turned around and it was almost as if someone had moved the ground under his feet. It was David, and he'd honestly be cursed if he had thought something else. The smile froze on his face and it was hard pretending that he hadn't met the guy before because he had. It was just ironic that Xavi had described him as being 'his type', what was that even suppose to mean anyway? That he was attracted to guys with tragic pasts or what? He heard Xavi talking, or well, he could see him moving his mouth but couldn't get any word that was coming out of it. He lost any hope of Cesc and Gerard looking into their direction because they were in the secluded part of the room and he had lost view of his friends a long time ago.
"This is Lionel, of course," it took him some minutes before he could finally identify the sounds coming out Xavi's mouth, and he nodded soppily.
"Nice to meet you," David shook his hand and it felt warm. "I have no idea someone so young could be so interested in Nature scenes. I particularly enjoy the 'Foscor' one."
"The darkest hour is that before dawn," Lionel replied and they both went silent for some minutes, remembering what had happened after that conversation had taken place.
"Glad to see you're getting along so well," Xavi smiled and took his cellphone. "Now, if you must excuse me, I've got a call to make..."
When Lionel had reached David's place, the lights were on and it had sounded as if someone were in a hurry to leave. Inside, David had been calling someone, pleading with them to stay where they were. Lionel had opened up the door and had seen David as he was hastily taking his stuff out. The Asturian had looked as if he hadn't slept in days, there had been bags under his eyes and his hair had been sticking up in every possible direction. Lionel had also seen the bags on the floor, indicating that his lover was about to leave and there was no way of knowing if they'd ever meet again. Something cold had sent shivers down the Argentine's back, and it had been an unpleasent feeling.
"David?" Lionel's voice had sounded weak but he was somewhat heard. "Where are you going?"
"I'm sorry, kid," he had said sounding upset. "I'm sorry things couldn't go the way you wanted, I must go now."
Only then did Lionel had noticed the presence of other men carrying things out the house. One of them had taken the cage and another one had sent a look to David that Lionel hadn't known how to decipher. The Asturian had shook his head at the man and he had left with the others. They had been alone in the middle of an empty house.
"I'm really sorry," David had said finally, after what had seemed like an eternity and he had moved to leave.
Lionel had done then the only thing that had made sense: he had hugged the older man from behind, pressing his face against the same back he had scratched with his fingernails not so long ago. His lips had murmured words no one else could hear, and David had stiffened under his touch again, as if Lionel were making things extra complicated with his clinging behaviour. His hand had let go of the bag he had and he had touched Lionel's hands with his.
"Stay with me, please," it had been pathetic but it had been the best Lionel could have offered then. "Just stay."
"We both know I can't do that," David had answered and he had pried the young Argentine's hands away. "Take care of yourself, Leo."
"Are you ok?" David asked as he examined Lionel closer, the Argentine blushed when he realized he was getting distracted again. "You look a bit pale, maybe you need some air?"
"Maybe," Lionel agreed and they both walked outside, away from the noise and the people and everything. "I should've asked Xavi to tell me about you before, maybe then I wouldn't have been so surprised."
"Or you would've come up with some excuse to avoid me, right?" David said looking at the horizon.
"Probably," Lionel conceded, then he stayed silent.
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"You're lying, you're a bad liar, by the way. Now tell me, what is it?"
"It's just..." Lionel bit his lower lip. "Xavi was telling me about you and... well... he kinda said you were the type of the... tragic romances? Something like that, I'm sure I should have listened to him better, I'm sorry."
"Tragic romances..." David let out the air he had been holding and shook his head. "These people have wild imagination, wilder than yours."
"So is it not true then?" Lionel asked and barely realized he was leaning closer, as if they didn't want to let the secret of their conversation out. "That you've got tragic romances?"
"There was someone... you remember David?" at Lionel's puzzled look, David chuckled. "Sorry, maybe I didn't mention his name. Ok, the guy from Gran Canarias? His name was David, and as I told you before, we were in love, but... I guess I never told you the whole story, no?"
"No... you didn't."
"Well, one day he disappeared, just like that, as if he had vanished in thin air. I only got information of his whereabouts until after we have met, which was the reason I had to leave: I had a lead on him and wasn't about to lose him again, so I left you and went to find him. I loved him that much."
"Yeah," Lionel feigned a smile. "I can imagine."
"You deserved better than me, I never thought we could have work out back then. You were so young, you deserved to meet people, to make choices and I was still too much in love with David as to offer you those things."
"What happened with him?" Lionel asked and David shook his head again.
"He had an accident. He went out swimming and... I don't know how he... I held his cold, dead body, you know?"
"I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"I know, I know... it's hard talking about that, though."
They stayed in silence again, Lionel's mind was still processing what he had heard, he wasn't entirely sure where did David's return put them, though. Was it suppose to be a sign for them to be together? He had no idea. The chemistry they had had before was still there, he had found it in the way David's hands had touched him, as if he had never left, as if they had never stopped making love.
"Where does this leave us?" he asked even if he wasn't sure he wanted those words out his mouth, but they were out anyway so he didn't say anything to rephrase it.
"Sex is still quite good," David offered and grinned slyly making Lionel blush. "We can go on from there."
"I might have to travel soon," Lionel warned him as he pointed towards where Xavi was. "He'll want me to travel a lot."
"I can't ask you to stay," David said looking him in the eye. "Because it won't be fair to you. I can promise to wait for you, though, if you want me to."
In that moment Cesc went out, and pretty much dragged Lionel to the inside.
"You. Inside. Now. I'll talk to you later," he added pointing to where David was still standing. "Can't believe it, I leave you alone for a second and you go and begin flirting with your beloved David."
"Wait, you knew it was David?" Lionel asked feeling confused.
"My boyfriend's best friend's boyfriend is a journalist," Cesc said rolling his eyes and pointing towards where Steven and Xabi were standing. "Of course I knew, besides, you're the most obvious person in the world, did you really think I believed you had just turned off your phone? Please, you smelled of sex even over the phone... and Sergi kinda saw you leaving with David." he added hastily when Lionel stared at him.
"I forgot you had friends everywhere," the Argentine rolled his eyes. "I'm guessing half the people in this room know by now."
"They don't, they would have known, though, you were pretty much having sex out there," Cesc stared at him and shook his head. "Are you sure you'll be alright? Because if that man dares leaving you again, well, I'll go and have Iker kick his ass so hard he won't be able to feel it again."
Lionel looked at his best friend and half smiled, maybe he should really let David wait for him, after all.
"The darkest hour is the one before the dawn," he said and Cesc raised a brow. "I've been through the darkest moments already, I think... I think that maybe it's time to enjoy the dawn."
The brush met the white canvas and left behind a trail of pink, purple and orange. The clouds looked as if they had been made with velvety tones of said colours, as if the sun were hiding behind them. The blend was unique in the sky and the artist wanted to reproduce as much of it faithfully over the canvas. A soft smile appeared on his face as strong hands sneaked up from behind him and stubbled cheeks caressed his own.
"I had no idea you had a thing for painting around the house naked," David whispered against his ear and his hand moved downwards. "Not that I mind that much."
"It's a hot morning," Lionel said. "I can go around my own house naked if I want."
"I agree," the Asturian replied and Lionel knew that he wouldn't get that painting made in that moment. "We need to make up for those days you spent in Madrid, though."
Maybe he could get used to those distractions, after all.