fuck-ups and pressure
Class starts at 11 for me every Tuesday-Thursday but I wake up at 6:30 just because I don’t want to stay at home. Because I’d rather be anywhere else but in that hell hole. I come home as late as I possibly can because when I do all they do is nag and scream and shout at me. Because I’m a bitch. And evil and mean.
I threw a chair at my brother yesterday because he wouldn’t get off the PC. He was playing a game and I needed to write my paper. I asked him nicely at first but my parents didn’t hear that part, only the shouting, so they got mad at me.
They used to give me shit about the TV. I stopped watching now, because I’m a selfish TV hog. Then now that I’m starting to need to use the computer because of all the papers and shit they’re starting to scream about that too - so I tried to solve that problem by working outside of home as much as possible. There’s no middle ground in hell. Now they’re screaming that I’m never home. Why do they still wonder why?
I fucking hate this place. It’s only any good when no one’s around. My house is too small for four people and four big egos.
Maybe if I was stupid, if I flunked a year, if I played video games all the time, downloaded porn onto the computer, listened to crap anime music and had no ambitions in life (temporal or otherwise) they’d love me.
Maybe if I was a stupid maid who followed everything they told me to do, they’d love me.
I hate crying, I feel weak and pathetic.
I threw a chair at my brother yesterday because he wouldn’t get off the PC. He was playing a game and I needed to write my paper. I asked him nicely at first but my parents didn’t hear that part, only the shouting, so they got mad at me.
They used to give me shit about the TV. I stopped watching now, because I’m a selfish TV hog. Then now that I’m starting to need to use the computer because of all the papers and shit they’re starting to scream about that too - so I tried to solve that problem by working outside of home as much as possible. There’s no middle ground in hell. Now they’re screaming that I’m never home. Why do they still wonder why?
I fucking hate this place. It’s only any good when no one’s around. My house is too small for four people and four big egos.
Maybe if I was stupid, if I flunked a year, if I played video games all the time, downloaded porn onto the computer, listened to crap anime music and had no ambitions in life (temporal or otherwise) they’d love me.
Maybe if I was a stupid maid who followed everything they told me to do, they’d love me.
I hate crying, I feel weak and pathetic.