Braver Than Usual

[footballchic42]

Yeah i went to school today bruised and all. it actually looks so much better. except the coloring. i was expecting to be made fun of by danny but i wasnt! first he gave me a hug{gosh was it a good hug!} and hes like aww my poor baby and then hes like well the purple brings out the blue in your eyes. yeah and then cassie was in the seat i usually sit in on the bus and she had a card for me with a stuffed animal cow and stickers. it was soooo sweet! it was really nice and i love stuffed animals! it was totally unexpected too! its the simple things that make me happy. but yeah so we get to the corner and on the way walking there everyone is staring me down like im a freak. i mean i kinda am. but yeah and then danny and his little imagination went wild. see i got hit with a dildo and "baseball bat" is slang for dildo. and then they tried to put me in an oven {jew joke} and i got hit with the handle thing. omg he has the weirdest imagination ive ever heard or seen. gosh! it was flippin hilarious tho! and me and my whiny self is like "no danny stop please" and he eventually did. and then school went on and i had 67 people ask me what happened by the end of the day!!!! omfg it was annoying so i got kinda creative and was like "YOU SHOULDVE SEEN THE OTHER GIRL!" and then once i was like "what are you talking about" and then i touched my face and felt the bump and said "OMG WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN" lmao it was great. yeah and so school went on and it wasnt bad except my face started to hurt during 5th hour. and my whole 5th hour class freaked out when i came in and this kid joe is like "i told you to get out of that abusive relationship" gosh they are so silly. and then bus time comes around again. and danny is gonna beat up this kid blaze whose an idiot but i didnt want him to beat him up and i felt bad so i asked danny to stop and surprisingly he did. seriously i can control most of the people around me. or at least the people that cant control me. like the twins and sarah definetly control me but everyone else i pretty much whip and i cant even help it. its sooo funny. but yeah and then danny put me over the wall and wouldnt let me go and ian comes out of no where and smacks my ass so fucking hard it stung forever!!! omg i was gonna kill him. but ian doesnt feel pain so it was pointless to try and hurt him back. and then we are on the bus and im sitting 3 to a seat and danny is behind me and he takes out his axe and sprays in down my pants from behind! omg i wanted to kill him too! but then he bought me a chocolate bar...hehe...so it was okay. yeah and then i went home with the twins and i was so depressed!!! i sat there in their room and read this magazine and listened to music and just cried. and i wrote this poem too:

you took me down
you said im not your happiness
where is all the happiness?
but you cant find something you never had
color my world a deep, dark shade
i want to know im worth something
sing me a song of better days
where piercing heartache didnt fill every line
and salt stained pillows werent easy to find
now i want it more than ever
something peaceful
something lovely
something real

yeah and then we went to high school orientation and i surprised some old classmates with my hyper outgoing self. i was always quiet and shy in middle school except 8th grade but then it was too late. i had a coffee right before so i wasnt depressed anymore but i cried the whole way in the car there for no reason. actually there was. alot of reasons. it just all hit me again. well im happy right now so we'll leave it at that...o and we beat the #1 team tonite in our league WHOO FUCKING HOO!! ok love ya lots & later