A New Beginning
i deleted all the old entries b/c the last month of my life was a waste. i dont wanna remember any of it, anything happy or anything sad so im starting over again. i dont even wanna start over b/c it started out as a horrible beginning and itll probably stay this way for a long time but im gonna try to get better...all i need is my best buds ::fakes a smile:: yeah so lets start over im sick of the past. hi im rachel. i have many good and bad qualities that i both want to stay and want to go. im sorry if any of these things bother you about me but its just who i am but i definetly need to mature. so here there are:
~ive been sad a little too often, i do stupid things without thinking, im thoughtful, im forgiving, im annoying at times, im easily angered and frustrated, i dont hold grudges, im determined, im hopeful, im spontaneous, i have a bad memory, im carefree, im wishy-washy, im forgetful, i dont like holding onto bad memories, i LOVE to be crazy, i like standing out, i like being different, im impatient, i have to be trusted, i like giving others 2nd chances or even more if thats what they need, im understanding, i just want everyone to be happy, i dont try to be something im not, i try my best, i dont like taking the easy way out, i like a challenge or struggle, if it comes easy its not for me, im frustrating, i can get on your nerves, i like to cry, music and excerise/football make me happy, i can be mean, i let people take advantage of me, im weak but im strong, i do whatever i want unless others wants are there too, i can be obnoxious, im smart, i have no common sense, i like to have fun, im easy to talk to, i care ALOT, i like to help others, i like to be nice, im trustworthy, i want to make people happy, im hyper, i "can" be happy, im fun, im loud, im forward yet shy too, im easy sometimes, im gullible, im outspoken, i keep things locked inside, i trust almost no one, im a HUGE flirt, i like to hurt myself, im unique, i dont wanna be sad, im short-tempered, im silly, im stupid, i hate whores, i say "hate" way too much, im not a "love at first sight" kind of girl, i dont wanna care, it doesnt take much to make me happy, i dont like being hurt, lately im negative, im easily confused, and i hate love~
see now when i look back at this entry ill remember the things i love and hate about myself and things ive been able to change that arent so great. thats a good was to start over again. im looking forward to a better month...but its gonna be hard to turn this disaster around. you know its weird i had a blast on the bus today and it made my whole day GREAT b/c i just thought about the pointless, marshmellowy things. but as soon as i came home omg im so sad again. im trying to be better...everything works out in the end and if not then i guess its not the end ::fakes another smile:: i hope you guys are all good and thats all that really matters, right?
~ive been sad a little too often, i do stupid things without thinking, im thoughtful, im forgiving, im annoying at times, im easily angered and frustrated, i dont hold grudges, im determined, im hopeful, im spontaneous, i have a bad memory, im carefree, im wishy-washy, im forgetful, i dont like holding onto bad memories, i LOVE to be crazy, i like standing out, i like being different, im impatient, i have to be trusted, i like giving others 2nd chances or even more if thats what they need, im understanding, i just want everyone to be happy, i dont try to be something im not, i try my best, i dont like taking the easy way out, i like a challenge or struggle, if it comes easy its not for me, im frustrating, i can get on your nerves, i like to cry, music and excerise/football make me happy, i can be mean, i let people take advantage of me, im weak but im strong, i do whatever i want unless others wants are there too, i can be obnoxious, im smart, i have no common sense, i like to have fun, im easy to talk to, i care ALOT, i like to help others, i like to be nice, im trustworthy, i want to make people happy, im hyper, i "can" be happy, im fun, im loud, im forward yet shy too, im easy sometimes, im gullible, im outspoken, i keep things locked inside, i trust almost no one, im a HUGE flirt, i like to hurt myself, im unique, i dont wanna be sad, im short-tempered, im silly, im stupid, i hate whores, i say "hate" way too much, im not a "love at first sight" kind of girl, i dont wanna care, it doesnt take much to make me happy, i dont like being hurt, lately im negative, im easily confused, and i hate love~
see now when i look back at this entry ill remember the things i love and hate about myself and things ive been able to change that arent so great. thats a good was to start over again. im looking forward to a better month...but its gonna be hard to turn this disaster around. you know its weird i had a blast on the bus today and it made my whole day GREAT b/c i just thought about the pointless, marshmellowy things. but as soon as i came home omg im so sad again. im trying to be better...everything works out in the end and if not then i guess its not the end ::fakes another smile:: i hope you guys are all good and thats all that really matters, right?