If you're patient enough to read it and advise, please do.
So LJ can't transfer my paid account time to another user name, even in my very special circumstance. :( Ah well. I guess I didn't expect them to be able to do much, since it's in their TOS, but they were really nice about it, and gave me quite a few helpful hints. I might stick with this user name until the paid time runs out, but I haven't decided yet.
In other news, I find it surprisingly easy, in my situation, to go completely incognito. I always thought that if I ever had to disassociate from my past life, which I am now forced to do, it would be very hard. Well, the hard part is over, really. It hurt and all, but now I'm over it, and I find it amusing. I will be changing my address in September, and so will Pat, who is at the moment the only person who really knows where and how to find me if the need arises. I will be changing my cell number, though technically, I already have. I will be changing my e-mail, and e-mailing only about two people with those changes. I will be changing my LJ name, and telling those who I want to keep individually and secretly where to find me. :)
And that's exactly what I need, for my own sake, forget anything else. To get comfortable in my new life. To cut ties with the part of my past that cannot just disappear on request. Starting September, only people whom I want to find me will be able to, and the amount of people out of all those that are from my past life are very minimal. Not counting my LJ friends, who have really been the best and truest friends I've ever had, I'm not carrying any people over this gap. Even Pat, as I've come to realize, has always been on the other side.
One of my friends said I'm being extreme. That even if those "friends" aren't really my friends anymore, I should still keep in touch and have their e-mails etc. But I mean, c'mon! The people who never call? Who don't remember my name? Whom I only see once at Sock's parties, where I'm forced to listen to all those things they did and all those events they've gone to where I wasn't invited? Who, by their own choice, chose to disassociate from me? Why? Those people are strangers to me. Either by choice of circumstance, they don't want to be in my life. And of course that opinion may change when they know some things about my life that are happening, but I don't need them like that! I needed them to hold my hand while I was climbing the mountain, not to pat me on the back when I reach the top.
I am now at the stage of my life that is so exciting and new! The journey here has been the hardest journey I have ever had to take. The only people I want on this journey with me are either those who always had me by the hand through it, or those who I meet and I feel are sincere about who they are and why they want to be my friends. I know the difference now. I can trust my judgement.
I don't know what advice I'm looking for. I'm not looking for approval, either, mind you. I guess I just want to know whether I'm making sense. In my shoes, would you have done anything different?
In other news, I find it surprisingly easy, in my situation, to go completely incognito. I always thought that if I ever had to disassociate from my past life, which I am now forced to do, it would be very hard. Well, the hard part is over, really. It hurt and all, but now I'm over it, and I find it amusing. I will be changing my address in September, and so will Pat, who is at the moment the only person who really knows where and how to find me if the need arises. I will be changing my cell number, though technically, I already have. I will be changing my e-mail, and e-mailing only about two people with those changes. I will be changing my LJ name, and telling those who I want to keep individually and secretly where to find me. :)
And that's exactly what I need, for my own sake, forget anything else. To get comfortable in my new life. To cut ties with the part of my past that cannot just disappear on request. Starting September, only people whom I want to find me will be able to, and the amount of people out of all those that are from my past life are very minimal. Not counting my LJ friends, who have really been the best and truest friends I've ever had, I'm not carrying any people over this gap. Even Pat, as I've come to realize, has always been on the other side.
One of my friends said I'm being extreme. That even if those "friends" aren't really my friends anymore, I should still keep in touch and have their e-mails etc. But I mean, c'mon! The people who never call? Who don't remember my name? Whom I only see once at Sock's parties, where I'm forced to listen to all those things they did and all those events they've gone to where I wasn't invited? Who, by their own choice, chose to disassociate from me? Why? Those people are strangers to me. Either by choice of circumstance, they don't want to be in my life. And of course that opinion may change when they know some things about my life that are happening, but I don't need them like that! I needed them to hold my hand while I was climbing the mountain, not to pat me on the back when I reach the top.
I am now at the stage of my life that is so exciting and new! The journey here has been the hardest journey I have ever had to take. The only people I want on this journey with me are either those who always had me by the hand through it, or those who I meet and I feel are sincere about who they are and why they want to be my friends. I know the difference now. I can trust my judgement.
I don't know what advice I'm looking for. I'm not looking for approval, either, mind you. I guess I just want to know whether I'm making sense. In my shoes, would you have done anything different?