Fic: puppy love [Cesc/Iker]
Title: puppy love
Author: last_panda
Pairing: Cesc/Iker
Rating: PG
Word count: 1,210
Disclaimer: this is an entirely fictional story with fictional characters. Any resemblance to real life is a coincidence.
Summery: Cesc has puppy love for Iker … or is it the other way around?
Notes: I promised quiteparadise a fluffy Cese/Iker a million years ago, and here it finally is. It’s kind of uber cracky, so I hope you like it anyway babe ;D
“Iker, where are you?”
“In the living room babe.”
“Ok. I’m gonna make some hot chocolate, want some?”
“Nah, you go ahead- ow!”
“What’s wrong!?”
“Oh I just stubbed my toe on this stupid sculpture thing … god it’s so ugly, I’m not even sure what it is.”
“Hey! My mom gave that to us! And it’s a sculpture of a dog!”
“Yeah, well, it’s so ugly it looks like it’s cursed or something. Why is it in my living room again?”
“Ikerrrrrrrr- My mom gave that to us! To us!“
“… it offends my delicate sensibilities though.”
“… If you really loved me, you would be happy to have it!”
“Fiiine …”
“…”
“Iker?!??!?!? What was that??? Omg are you ok? Did you knock something over?”
“…”
“Oh no, the sculpture’s broken … Iker?? … Iker babe, where did you go? … are you all right? You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”
“arf!”
“…… did I just hear something … bark?”
“arf!”
“Ohmigod Iker, it’s a puppy! What is a puppy doing in our apartment?!”
“arf!”
“Ikerrrr … Iker where did you go?”
“arf arf!”
“Come on, why is there a puppy sitting in the living room … next to a pile of the clothes you were wearing … along with even your socks and your underwear ...?”
“…”
“Omg Iker, this isn’t funny anymore, where arrrrre you?!?!?”
“arf!”
“I’m calling your phone now! … and it’s in the pocket of your pants.”
“…”
“Ikerrrr! Iker Iker, c’mon Iker, pleeease, where are you?”
“arf! arf arf arf!”
“… Iker?”
“arf!”
“Ohmigod, no way. … Iker? … Iker is that you?”
“arf! arf!”
“Ohmigod, seriously? Iker … Iker if that’s you, if you can understand me, … wag your tail!”
“arf!”
“Ohmigod. Ohmigod ohmigod, ohmigod. My boyfriend has been turned into a puppy by a cursed sculpture. Ohmigoddddd. Oh baby, this is all my fault. Oh Iker, I’ll figure out a way to fix this … somehow.”
“arf!”
“Heeeeey Iker! You there?”
“Ohmygod Sergio! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking!?!?!?”
“Hey Cesc- what, what’re you getting your panties up in a bunch for?”
“We could have been doing thing in here!”
“What, like fucking on the sofa? It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before…”
“Serrrrrrgioooooooo!! You didn’t just come over to be a crude pain in my ass did you? What are you doing here!?”
“I wanted to see Iker. Where is he?”
“He’s um … he’s out. Running errands.”
“Ok, then I’ll just wait for him then.”
“No don’t sit down!!! He’s gonna be gone a long time, so you shouldn’t wait.”
“What kind of errands is Iker running anyway?
“arf!”
“Uhhhhhh…”
“Is that a puppy? You guys got a puppy?”
“Yeah, uh … we got a puppy. Isn’t it cute?”
“Yeeeah he’s cute… c’mer little guy … so what’s its name?”
“Iker…rrrrraaaaa. Uh. Ikera. Yeah, its name is Ikera …”
“Seriously Cesc? You named the puppy Ikera!?! You’re worse than a little school girl with a crush!”
“Shut up!”
“Ow, ahaha. And you hit like a girl too!”
“I hate you!”
“So the puppy is a girl then?”
“What?! No, it’s a boy! … it is! So you don’t need to go poking around its … private parts!”
“…you named a boy puppy Ikera? Damn Cesc, Iker must love you a lot to put up with all your crazy…”
“Shut up! And- he does! … but! Shut up!”
“Aww you’re so cute when you’re all angry and your face gets all scrunched up like that …”
“Ahhh! Ah ah ahhh! Don’t you have somewhere else to be? Some other people to bother?!?
“No man, I’m just waiting for Iker-“
“Well then go wait for Iker somewhere else!!”
“Ok ok, jeze, I get the picture! You don’t need to physically push me out the door … or try to anyway … what are those, chicken wings you call arms?”
“Ahhhhh I hate you Sergio Ramos!”
“…”
“There. Uff. He’s gone. Oh I’m so so sorry Iker, but you’re safe now.”
“arf!”
“Oh Iker … what am I gonna do with you? How am I ever supposed to change you back?
“arf!”
“… you do make an awfully cute puppy though … Ow! Don’t bite me! Ok ok, you’r e a very manly puppy!”
“hnnnnn!”
“Ohmigod, don’t whimper! Oh no Iker, what’s wrong? What’s wroooong?!?”
“hnn hnnn hnnnn”
“Awww, are you hungry baby?”
“arf!!!!!”
“But … but what am I supposed to feed you? Puppies have delicate stomachs, I can’t just feed you people food or something …”
“arf!!!”
“Ohmigod Iker, I am not making you eat dog food!!”
“hnnnnnnnnn hnnnnnnn hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn”
“…. Ok ok don’t make that face at me anymore! I’ll take you with, and you can pick out what kind you want to eat, ok?”
“arf!”
“I’m not supposed to take you into the store, so I’m gonna hide you in my coat, and you have to promise to be very quite ok?”
“arf.”
“good good, ok, here we go …”
“… holy crap, I had no idea there were so many different types of dog food.”
“… ohmygod, are you Cesc Fabregas?”
“oh crap, fangirls … yes?”
“eeeee! Ohmygod, can I get my picture with you?!”
“Sure ok, just a quick one … Iker, hold still!”
“… are you talking to your coat?”
“…… noooo?”
“Oh mygod! Oh mygod you have a puppy! Ohhh that is the cutest thing ever, eeeee!”
“Shhh look, can we keep it down ok-“
“Look everyone- Cesc has a puppy!!!!!!”
“… crap.”
“I’m so sorry Iker, that we didn’t get you any food … I can’t believe I got thrown out of a grocery store!”
“arf.”
“I know, I know, but … ohmygod Iker! You just peed on me!!!! I know you’re a puppy now, but-!!!”
“arf!”
“Ahhhh I have to go change now and, and … ahhhhh I don’t know what to do! My boyfriend is a dog! Literally!”
“arf!”
“… god you’re so cute I can’t stay mad at you. Just … just don’t pee on the carpet ok? Please. Look, just … sit, ok? Sit, stay!”
“……. I can’t believe I just told Iker to sit and stay. Oh god oh god, what if this is my life from now on? Taking care of my boyfriend the puppy?”
“Are you saying you don’t want to take care of a puppy?”
“Aaldkfjalkdsjfalsjkflkjdfs Iker!!!!!!!!! But- ….. you’re there! But … you’re over there too!”
“The puppy is over there, yes.”
“But!! But you- and then- and when I asked, you- or the puppy- it wagged”
“Hmmm. So because a puppy wagged its tail, you were really willing to believe I had been turned into a dog?”
“But! But the sculpture! It was cursed!”
“… cursed with ugliness, sure. … you really are too gullible, Francesc Fabrigas.”
“… Ikerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I hate youuuu!”
“Awww, and here I thought you were pretty attached to puppy-me.”
“Puppy-you is not a big fat jerkhead! …………. why is there a puppy anyway?”
“He’s for you. To take back to England with you, so you have someone to cuddle when you’re lonely and miss me.”
“……………… just so you know, I’m still mad at you, but ….. ohmigod Ikerrrrr! I love you sooooo much!”
“I love you too Cesc.”
“arf!!”
Author: last_panda
Pairing: Cesc/Iker
Rating: PG
Word count: 1,210
Disclaimer: this is an entirely fictional story with fictional characters. Any resemblance to real life is a coincidence.
Summery: Cesc has puppy love for Iker … or is it the other way around?
Notes: I promised quiteparadise a fluffy Cese/Iker a million years ago, and here it finally is. It’s kind of uber cracky, so I hope you like it anyway babe ;D
“Iker, where are you?”
“In the living room babe.”
“Ok. I’m gonna make some hot chocolate, want some?”
“Nah, you go ahead- ow!”
“What’s wrong!?”
“Oh I just stubbed my toe on this stupid sculpture thing … god it’s so ugly, I’m not even sure what it is.”
“Hey! My mom gave that to us! And it’s a sculpture of a dog!”
“Yeah, well, it’s so ugly it looks like it’s cursed or something. Why is it in my living room again?”
“Ikerrrrrrrr- My mom gave that to us! To us!“
“… it offends my delicate sensibilities though.”
“… If you really loved me, you would be happy to have it!”
“Fiiine …”
“…”
“Iker?!??!?!? What was that??? Omg are you ok? Did you knock something over?”
“…”
“Oh no, the sculpture’s broken … Iker?? … Iker babe, where did you go? … are you all right? You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”
“arf!”
“…… did I just hear something … bark?”
“arf!”
“Ohmigod Iker, it’s a puppy! What is a puppy doing in our apartment?!”
“arf!”
“Ikerrrr … Iker where did you go?”
“arf arf!”
“Come on, why is there a puppy sitting in the living room … next to a pile of the clothes you were wearing … along with even your socks and your underwear ...?”
“…”
“Omg Iker, this isn’t funny anymore, where arrrrre you?!?!?”
“arf!”
“I’m calling your phone now! … and it’s in the pocket of your pants.”
“…”
“Ikerrrr! Iker Iker, c’mon Iker, pleeease, where are you?”
“arf! arf arf arf!”
“… Iker?”
“arf!”
“Ohmigod, no way. … Iker? … Iker is that you?”
“arf! arf!”
“Ohmigod, seriously? Iker … Iker if that’s you, if you can understand me, … wag your tail!”
“arf!”
“Ohmigod. Ohmigod ohmigod, ohmigod. My boyfriend has been turned into a puppy by a cursed sculpture. Ohmigoddddd. Oh baby, this is all my fault. Oh Iker, I’ll figure out a way to fix this … somehow.”
“arf!”
“Heeeeey Iker! You there?”
“Ohmygod Sergio! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking!?!?!?”
“Hey Cesc- what, what’re you getting your panties up in a bunch for?”
“We could have been doing thing in here!”
“What, like fucking on the sofa? It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before…”
“Serrrrrrgioooooooo!! You didn’t just come over to be a crude pain in my ass did you? What are you doing here!?”
“I wanted to see Iker. Where is he?”
“He’s um … he’s out. Running errands.”
“Ok, then I’ll just wait for him then.”
“No don’t sit down!!! He’s gonna be gone a long time, so you shouldn’t wait.”
“What kind of errands is Iker running anyway?
“arf!”
“Uhhhhhh…”
“Is that a puppy? You guys got a puppy?”
“Yeah, uh … we got a puppy. Isn’t it cute?”
“Yeeeah he’s cute… c’mer little guy … so what’s its name?”
“Iker…rrrrraaaaa. Uh. Ikera. Yeah, its name is Ikera …”
“Seriously Cesc? You named the puppy Ikera!?! You’re worse than a little school girl with a crush!”
“Shut up!”
“Ow, ahaha. And you hit like a girl too!”
“I hate you!”
“So the puppy is a girl then?”
“What?! No, it’s a boy! … it is! So you don’t need to go poking around its … private parts!”
“…you named a boy puppy Ikera? Damn Cesc, Iker must love you a lot to put up with all your crazy…”
“Shut up! And- he does! … but! Shut up!”
“Aww you’re so cute when you’re all angry and your face gets all scrunched up like that …”
“Ahhh! Ah ah ahhh! Don’t you have somewhere else to be? Some other people to bother?!?
“No man, I’m just waiting for Iker-“
“Well then go wait for Iker somewhere else!!”
“Ok ok, jeze, I get the picture! You don’t need to physically push me out the door … or try to anyway … what are those, chicken wings you call arms?”
“Ahhhhh I hate you Sergio Ramos!”
“…”
“There. Uff. He’s gone. Oh I’m so so sorry Iker, but you’re safe now.”
“arf!”
“Oh Iker … what am I gonna do with you? How am I ever supposed to change you back?
“arf!”
“… you do make an awfully cute puppy though … Ow! Don’t bite me! Ok ok, you’r e a very manly puppy!”
“hnnnnn!”
“Ohmigod, don’t whimper! Oh no Iker, what’s wrong? What’s wroooong?!?”
“hnn hnnn hnnnn”
“Awww, are you hungry baby?”
“arf!!!!!”
“But … but what am I supposed to feed you? Puppies have delicate stomachs, I can’t just feed you people food or something …”
“arf!!!”
“Ohmigod Iker, I am not making you eat dog food!!”
“hnnnnnnnnn hnnnnnnn hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn”
“…. Ok ok don’t make that face at me anymore! I’ll take you with, and you can pick out what kind you want to eat, ok?”
“arf!”
“I’m not supposed to take you into the store, so I’m gonna hide you in my coat, and you have to promise to be very quite ok?”
“arf.”
“good good, ok, here we go …”
“… holy crap, I had no idea there were so many different types of dog food.”
“… ohmygod, are you Cesc Fabregas?”
“oh crap, fangirls … yes?”
“eeeee! Ohmygod, can I get my picture with you?!”
“Sure ok, just a quick one … Iker, hold still!”
“… are you talking to your coat?”
“…… noooo?”
“Oh mygod! Oh mygod you have a puppy! Ohhh that is the cutest thing ever, eeeee!”
“Shhh look, can we keep it down ok-“
“Look everyone- Cesc has a puppy!!!!!!”
“… crap.”
“I’m so sorry Iker, that we didn’t get you any food … I can’t believe I got thrown out of a grocery store!”
“arf.”
“I know, I know, but … ohmygod Iker! You just peed on me!!!! I know you’re a puppy now, but-!!!”
“arf!”
“Ahhhh I have to go change now and, and … ahhhhh I don’t know what to do! My boyfriend is a dog! Literally!”
“arf!”
“… god you’re so cute I can’t stay mad at you. Just … just don’t pee on the carpet ok? Please. Look, just … sit, ok? Sit, stay!”
“……. I can’t believe I just told Iker to sit and stay. Oh god oh god, what if this is my life from now on? Taking care of my boyfriend the puppy?”
“Are you saying you don’t want to take care of a puppy?”
“Aaldkfjalkdsjfalsjkflkjdfs Iker!!!!!!!!! But- ….. you’re there! But … you’re over there too!”
“The puppy is over there, yes.”
“But!! But you- and then- and when I asked, you- or the puppy- it wagged”
“Hmmm. So because a puppy wagged its tail, you were really willing to believe I had been turned into a dog?”
“But! But the sculpture! It was cursed!”
“… cursed with ugliness, sure. … you really are too gullible, Francesc Fabrigas.”
“… Ikerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I hate youuuu!”
“Awww, and here I thought you were pretty attached to puppy-me.”
“Puppy-you is not a big fat jerkhead! …………. why is there a puppy anyway?”
“He’s for you. To take back to England with you, so you have someone to cuddle when you’re lonely and miss me.”
“……………… just so you know, I’m still mad at you, but ….. ohmigod Ikerrrrr! I love you sooooo much!”
“I love you too Cesc.”
“arf!!”