who needs fiction?
well I've given up on doing anything remotely productive today so instead I thought I would chronicle my latest dating anecdotes. they're really quite entertaining. I really am thinking of writing a book, there's been some rather comical stuff in my life I'm sure...
so ummm let's start with Yoz.
Dating disaster number 1. he and I have been getting really close (just as friends) in lectures, passing stupid notes during boring 5pm ones and going for breakfast and coffee in our fabulous pathology tearoom after the 9am ones. I was really pleased because being at a girls' college, I have many female friends (which is great, I can now talk to women, which is exciting as through school I seemed only to make enemies of females. wonder why..) but I have a severe lack of male friends and sometimes you just need that outlook on life. he took me charity shop-shopping while I was still drunk (DON'T do it, I am incredibly embarrassing to be with and just talk uber-loudly about highly inappropriate subjects in front of vulnerable old ladies) and I took him clothes shopping while he was still drunk (noticing a pattern?). he's told me all his confusing baggage about his girlfriend and I told him the things I'd been getting up to (although I do tell everyone so that's not surprising). anyway on this clothes shopping day he tried to hold my hand, which was weird but I put it down to his still being a bit squiffy, so to speak.
a few days later we go to formal at his college, followed by drinking games in his room (with other people I hasten to add!) and I throw up (and was so annoyed at myself, it was the first time that term) so I decide that I can't go home and I put myself to bed in his bed (drunken logic. love it). so I wake up the next day and he's still a bit the worse for wear too, sleeping sort of next to me in a window seat type area; next thing I know he's stroking me and declaring his love. why can't boys just be friends when you want them to be?! anyway it's all OK now, boundaries have been definitively established!!
Dating saga 2: ROB. this is a bad one. he's quite short, ginger and Jewish (as my friend Brenda says, "Kat doesn't do Jew" - self-hater if ever there was one, not selectively so but I've hardly even pulled anyone Jewish). I met him at a ceili my friend organised and we ceilied a bit but he was drunk and sweaty (ick) so hasty retreats were made on my part. HOWEVER I then meet him in Pathology a few days later on the stairs; we chat, I think nothing more of it...until....a facebook message appears asking to go for coffee. I figure, it's not really a date if it's in the middle of the day and so accept because I hate being mean and saying no. except it then ends up in the evening and involving wine. the evening was ok, mainly because I'll talk to a brick wall if I think it might be listening and hate awkward silences - except then on the way back he tries to kiss me. TWICE. my neck was put through its own gymnastic session turning my head quickly enough to deflect the lip-targeted lunges onto my cheeks. so one would conclude from that display surely that I wasn't interested.
well apparently he must have thought I was just a demure girl who doesn't kiss on the first date (HA) because the next day, a text telling me to check my pigeonhole. and inside - A MIX CD. scary. as my friend Mia said, that's the sort of thing one makes for a 6-month anniversary. I spent the next half-hour in her room in a foetal position. really. and what's worse: one of the songs is by The Cooper Temple Clause. Rob is American and not even many people in England have heard of them, so he's obviously gone to my facebook profile and looked at "favourite bands". stalker!! and worse still, he's written a note and signed off "Rhett Butler" because (teehee) his initials are RB too - this is immensely irritating because now when I read "gone with the wind" it's been tainted and I can't fall in love with Rhett in quite the same way.
cutting an even longer story short, I ignored him for a while, but felt bad so facebooked him saying that I was very busy and therefore couldn't get together. so he facebooks me back and offers to COOK ME DINNER because "a girl's still got to eat". I think that's grounds enough for ignoring him forthwith; his skin seems to be thicker than a rhino!
Number 3: Jon. poor Jon. I've been mean to him. he's been very persistent; met him on RAG blind date in first year and then turned up with my very new boyfriend to a houseparty he invited me to and proceeded to kiss Dave on the stairs all night. a few months later, I met him at a formal again and he tried to get me drunk and kiss me, at which point Dave got the bouncer to put Jon in a headlock and throw him down the stairs out of Cindies. he's quite a nice guy really, with a propensity to take the conversation into the very lowest depths of indecency, so amusing to be around. so we've been facebook message flirting and he was up in Cambridge last week and asked me to a bbq at a friend's, who I vaguely knew. this was my chance to see if I fancied him or not - to which the resounding answer was NO, which is a shame as he's not bad-looking, and very built (can do those press-ups where he claps his hands behind his back in between). long story short, I stay the night because I can't be arsed to bike home at 1am, but he slept on the floor (I did offer!) and I messaged him that I just wanted to be friends. which was blindingly obvious from my behaviour the night before, but just to clarify the situation. he was very well-behaved actually; he could have been a cock and tried it on but he couldn't have been nicer.
PROBLEM: I fancy his BEST friend. a lot. he's good looking and fun to chat to. it's driving me mad I can't say anything (I like to pursue if you hadn't noticed so not being able to is killing me!). DRAMA!
Ahhh one more. Number 4. Mia and I went out for "quiet drinks" and a group of men start chatting to us; they're all quite a lot older and one has a daughter, but they're ok and we're rather cocktailed-up by this stage. when they offer to take us to Cindies (because we have no money) we agree; they pay for EVERYTHING - drinks, entrance, cloakroom. one of the guys is younger and better-looking than the others and we start chatting, and then Mia gets wingmanned to the bar by the other guys, leaving him and me alone (they challenge Mia to a shot competition; she, like me, gets very arrogant when pissed and so rises to the challenge and consequently can barely stand when I find her again). meanwhile, I (according to Mia, who I immediately told, but my brain has blanked all this out) kissed this older guy, who then says to me "Oh by the way, you know I have a wife and child?" - so I go NO and run away to find my partner-in-crime; we abandon the club and seek consolation in cheesy chips. goodness knows why his friends condone and facilitate this blatant adultery.
ah well. sorry to have blocked up everyone's page. sorry for my blatant self-absorption. I still don't know how to LJ cut and I don't want to learn! at least thinking about the sagas can keep me amused while I'm revising virus proteins....
so ummm let's start with Yoz.
Dating disaster number 1. he and I have been getting really close (just as friends) in lectures, passing stupid notes during boring 5pm ones and going for breakfast and coffee in our fabulous pathology tearoom after the 9am ones. I was really pleased because being at a girls' college, I have many female friends (which is great, I can now talk to women, which is exciting as through school I seemed only to make enemies of females. wonder why..) but I have a severe lack of male friends and sometimes you just need that outlook on life. he took me charity shop-shopping while I was still drunk (DON'T do it, I am incredibly embarrassing to be with and just talk uber-loudly about highly inappropriate subjects in front of vulnerable old ladies) and I took him clothes shopping while he was still drunk (noticing a pattern?). he's told me all his confusing baggage about his girlfriend and I told him the things I'd been getting up to (although I do tell everyone so that's not surprising). anyway on this clothes shopping day he tried to hold my hand, which was weird but I put it down to his still being a bit squiffy, so to speak.
a few days later we go to formal at his college, followed by drinking games in his room (with other people I hasten to add!) and I throw up (and was so annoyed at myself, it was the first time that term) so I decide that I can't go home and I put myself to bed in his bed (drunken logic. love it). so I wake up the next day and he's still a bit the worse for wear too, sleeping sort of next to me in a window seat type area; next thing I know he's stroking me and declaring his love. why can't boys just be friends when you want them to be?! anyway it's all OK now, boundaries have been definitively established!!
Dating saga 2: ROB. this is a bad one. he's quite short, ginger and Jewish (as my friend Brenda says, "Kat doesn't do Jew" - self-hater if ever there was one, not selectively so but I've hardly even pulled anyone Jewish). I met him at a ceili my friend organised and we ceilied a bit but he was drunk and sweaty (ick) so hasty retreats were made on my part. HOWEVER I then meet him in Pathology a few days later on the stairs; we chat, I think nothing more of it...until....a facebook message appears asking to go for coffee. I figure, it's not really a date if it's in the middle of the day and so accept because I hate being mean and saying no. except it then ends up in the evening and involving wine. the evening was ok, mainly because I'll talk to a brick wall if I think it might be listening and hate awkward silences - except then on the way back he tries to kiss me. TWICE. my neck was put through its own gymnastic session turning my head quickly enough to deflect the lip-targeted lunges onto my cheeks. so one would conclude from that display surely that I wasn't interested.
well apparently he must have thought I was just a demure girl who doesn't kiss on the first date (HA) because the next day, a text telling me to check my pigeonhole. and inside - A MIX CD. scary. as my friend Mia said, that's the sort of thing one makes for a 6-month anniversary. I spent the next half-hour in her room in a foetal position. really. and what's worse: one of the songs is by The Cooper Temple Clause. Rob is American and not even many people in England have heard of them, so he's obviously gone to my facebook profile and looked at "favourite bands". stalker!! and worse still, he's written a note and signed off "Rhett Butler" because (teehee) his initials are RB too - this is immensely irritating because now when I read "gone with the wind" it's been tainted and I can't fall in love with Rhett in quite the same way.
cutting an even longer story short, I ignored him for a while, but felt bad so facebooked him saying that I was very busy and therefore couldn't get together. so he facebooks me back and offers to COOK ME DINNER because "a girl's still got to eat". I think that's grounds enough for ignoring him forthwith; his skin seems to be thicker than a rhino!
Number 3: Jon. poor Jon. I've been mean to him. he's been very persistent; met him on RAG blind date in first year and then turned up with my very new boyfriend to a houseparty he invited me to and proceeded to kiss Dave on the stairs all night. a few months later, I met him at a formal again and he tried to get me drunk and kiss me, at which point Dave got the bouncer to put Jon in a headlock and throw him down the stairs out of Cindies. he's quite a nice guy really, with a propensity to take the conversation into the very lowest depths of indecency, so amusing to be around. so we've been facebook message flirting and he was up in Cambridge last week and asked me to a bbq at a friend's, who I vaguely knew. this was my chance to see if I fancied him or not - to which the resounding answer was NO, which is a shame as he's not bad-looking, and very built (can do those press-ups where he claps his hands behind his back in between). long story short, I stay the night because I can't be arsed to bike home at 1am, but he slept on the floor (I did offer!) and I messaged him that I just wanted to be friends. which was blindingly obvious from my behaviour the night before, but just to clarify the situation. he was very well-behaved actually; he could have been a cock and tried it on but he couldn't have been nicer.
PROBLEM: I fancy his BEST friend. a lot. he's good looking and fun to chat to. it's driving me mad I can't say anything (I like to pursue if you hadn't noticed so not being able to is killing me!). DRAMA!
Ahhh one more. Number 4. Mia and I went out for "quiet drinks" and a group of men start chatting to us; they're all quite a lot older and one has a daughter, but they're ok and we're rather cocktailed-up by this stage. when they offer to take us to Cindies (because we have no money) we agree; they pay for EVERYTHING - drinks, entrance, cloakroom. one of the guys is younger and better-looking than the others and we start chatting, and then Mia gets wingmanned to the bar by the other guys, leaving him and me alone (they challenge Mia to a shot competition; she, like me, gets very arrogant when pissed and so rises to the challenge and consequently can barely stand when I find her again). meanwhile, I (according to Mia, who I immediately told, but my brain has blanked all this out) kissed this older guy, who then says to me "Oh by the way, you know I have a wife and child?" - so I go NO and run away to find my partner-in-crime; we abandon the club and seek consolation in cheesy chips. goodness knows why his friends condone and facilitate this blatant adultery.
ah well. sorry to have blocked up everyone's page. sorry for my blatant self-absorption. I still don't know how to LJ cut and I don't want to learn! at least thinking about the sagas can keep me amused while I'm revising virus proteins....