(no subject)

Jul 16, 2007 12:33

so i have been 22 for 2 weeks now...and i cant say that it is any different than being 21....except that i am not spending all of my money on alcohol. i drank on my birthday but didnt get drunk....its like i get to the point of being inebriated, and its like i have had enough. i guess that is good, since i dont really think about drinking unless i am going to a party....the thought of getting drunk at home and passing out just seems very unappealing to me. i am a lot happier than i was around this time last year. it has been....61 days since i have binged and purged, and to be honest, i dont even feel like doing it like i used to. i think i finally have more control over myself. i havent been on meds for roughly the same amount of time....and things are actually much better. i feel like i have had a moment of clarity, and that it is just continuing to get better and better. every once and a while i will get depressed...but that is usually just like the day before i start my period. i actually started crying last week before my period started over an article that i read in the akron beacon journal about a dog that got 3rd degree burns in a fire. it just made me think of my dog sadie, who got put to sleep last year....i guess i just miss her, and miss having a dog in my home. i get to go visit cleo at my parents house every week, but i miss having a pet to curl up with me on the couch while im watching tv. oh well...i am bound to have at least a cat eventually. i start in a new lab this week, which has to do with how women perceive themselves in terms of body type and weight....i think it will be really interesting to see how other people view themselves. i had to act as a participant today, and i had to get measured and everything, and my waist has gone down like 2 inches in the past two weeks, so i am happy about that. i dont really have time to work out since i work so much and when i am not working, i am cleaning up a week's worth of messy apartment...but i have cut down on my calorie intake, and i feel really happy. like i had to figure out my body fat percentage, and really i dont even care about it....before i would be obsessed over it, but now i know that it is just a number, and that even if i am the perfect number, that i may not neccesarily be happy with how i look. i am quite happy with how i look and feel right now, and jj is constantly telling me how good i look, which makes me feel even better. i guess this is what it feels like to be in a healthy relationship. anywho, im going to get going and run some practice trials of the study.

no meds, new lab, crying over the abj, no purging, dogs

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