Deconstruction
Recipe for a Strong Fat Woman
Take a chubby girl. She should still be tender, without too much psychic bruising. Throw her into puberty and its attendant weight gain.
Add heaping tablespoons of peer teasing and familial shaming. Also a pinch of big media.
Apply, one right after the other, portions of Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, TOPS, cabbage soup, low carbs, Jenny Craig, or any other diet program you like. Don’t be alarmed if your young woman gets a bit smaller - it’s temporary. After each application, she will be bigger than before!
Let her sit and stew for quite a long time.
Start adding, drop by drop, fat acceptance literature, debunked medical studies, and fat positive imagery. These are hard to find in your normal store, but worth the extra work, as they make the final dish much more flavorful.
Let her marinate in these new ingredients.
Set heat to high and let her boil with anger.
Sprinkle about a dozen men on top of her. Most will fall to the bottom of the pan and disappear in a puff of smoke, but one or two should stick and let her find delight in the pleasure her body produces and induces.
Apply nice clothes and funky shoes.
Add three to four cups of therapy. Stir things up vigorously.
By now your fat woman should be lush, rosy and juicy. Serve with a side of sass and a bottle of very dry humor. Even better the next day! And the next, and the next, and the next…….