Advice From My Lovely Flist?

Nov 20, 2011 03:49

Right, so I wrote down a longer private entry where I cried my eyes out and wrote a lot of terribly soul-bearing and incoherent stuff, so now I feel like I can condense some things into a clean and intelligible whole.

Background
Alarmingly, I've found myself becoming the asexual 'spokesperson' to many students at my university. This is strange for me ( Read more... )

freak outs, brain pudding

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angstbunny November 20 2011, 19:36:58 UTC
Must preface: I'm not asexual.

Regardless of one's awareness of media and culture's impact on oneself, there is so much of it around you, now and while you're growing up, that it's impossible to declare yourself completely free of its influence. Maybe you have bought into the Grand Romance ideal, and there is a part of you that unconsciously hyped The Kiss, but that is not an indictment of your logic, your emotional landscape, or your sexual/romantic identification.

I think one kiss is not determinate of anything. There have been men and women in the past whom I thought I was sexually attracted to, but when I kissed them, I felt nothing. It could be that this particular girl is simply someone who did nothing for you kissing-wise. Or maybe kissing just does nothing for you period, and that's all right, too. Kissing is not the be-all and end-all of intimacy. Maybe you're a hug&cuddle person. Maybe you're a handholding person. Or maybe you're none of those things at all and it's a slow walk toward finding the thing that expresses your affection toward another person.

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foolish_m0rtal November 21 2011, 08:54:57 UTC
Thank you very much for letting me know I'm not alone, even within the realm of non asexuals! As otherdibbler said, thank you for such a succinct and insightful response!

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