bleh
So my bday is coming up. and its sucks being single. I mean single is VERY fun but having someone to have fun with just kiss. love on. sleep next to. its great. sleepin isnt quiet the same like it use to be with ryan. if im not TIRED TIRED. any who im starting to think i may be putting to much thought in toit. and maybe it will come to me when i stop. Kinda liek its always the last place you look. youll find it when your not looking. Im startin my bday depression again. i thought maybe this year it wouldnt come because it didnt hit yet. but it hit like 20 minutes ago when i opened my bday card from my sister. shes so cold it just hurts. like being the baby of the fam dont you think there would be alot of love? no i got some card witha bag lady on the front that said hey i think she need her hair and make up done think you could help. have a grreat day---------sholeh&robert. dood how about for once saying ifuckin love you! im glad i still have you@ i cant believe my baby sister is 21 somethingalong the lines as a fuckin aquance. never. i only get from my brother and everyone wonders why what my brother says means so much. he didnt want me to go to vegas and i changes my mind then he said nono go its good for you youll do good. and now i wanna go again. i dont y my mother raised us the way she did to make us do the things we do. i miss my brother. birthdays suck so hard for me. its just a depression of why i am here and what for.....thats toooo my fuckin memory loss is shit. the only birthday i remember at all EVER is my 6th. my brother got me little clothes for my dolls.. and my mom got be this book thats is the coolest! the jolly postman and other ppls letters. its was a bout a postman who delievered all these letters to fairytale characters. there are real letters inside envelopes. sitt got it mint condition. ,, cant remember any other birthday not even my 1 , 18, or last years 20th. someone buy me a freakin CAMERA! fuck this