stupid me.
no matter how hard i try. or how good i think things are going. or how long of a "good-streak" i have.. i eventually fail. or fuck up. you'd think i'd see it coming. you'd think that ive gotten use to this rotating circle, but i guess i havent. i still have a lot of growing up to do, which is the conclusion that ive come to through all of this.
but, i thought i was doing well. i thought i was growing and loving and living...and then i realized that everything that ive been doing for all this time, thinking it had a good purpose and a good outcome....was all just, shit. nothing ive been putting effort in, or time, or emotion in the last fucking year has actually meant nothing to anyone.
stupid me. thinking i was making this great difference. thinking that i was fulfilling my purpose. stupid me.
please dont leave me pity comments. i dont wanna hear them.
but, i thought i was doing well. i thought i was growing and loving and living...and then i realized that everything that ive been doing for all this time, thinking it had a good purpose and a good outcome....was all just, shit. nothing ive been putting effort in, or time, or emotion in the last fucking year has actually meant nothing to anyone.
stupid me. thinking i was making this great difference. thinking that i was fulfilling my purpose. stupid me.
please dont leave me pity comments. i dont wanna hear them.