Different strokes
I went ice skating with a colleague from work today (no, he's 40 and straight, give me some credit here, people). We had a great time. I am getting much better and didn't fall once during the 1 hour session. Afterwards, I suggested we go somewhere to eat. He recommended Hooters. Now, I have never been to "Hooters" but the name kind of conjured up an image of scantily clad girls serving burgers and that's not really my thing if you know what I mean. I went to many a strip club when my friends got married (it's a cultural thing, I expect), but they never did much for me personally (for reasons that are obvious now).
Anyway, I protested that I "wasn't into that sort of thing". He claimed "it's not like that" so I didn't protest too much. Besides, I want to try American culture and what's more American than Hooters? I acquiesced. We arrived at the place and walked up to the entrance. Some American sports game was blaring through the PA system, from the sounds of things, probably football. As I entered I was confused to see a family with little kids (maybe 5 & 6) waiting to be served. Surely the image of "hooters" I had in my mind and the reality of this place were at odds with one another. This was a family restaurant, with little kids in it. They served burgers to kids, not sex to adults.
On closer inspection, though, both my imagination and reality turned out to be true: Hooters is a family restaurant that involves being served by scantily clad women. Thankfully, the din of the sports fans and the fact that there was no space left to sit precluded us from participating in the spectacle. I am not sure whether the spectacle was supposed to be the game or the girls.
Call me a prude but I am not so keen on such open displays of sexuality. I have been to hetero strip clubs with "pole dancers" and a gay bar which had "go-go" boys. All that overt sexuality is actually kind of off-putting for me, kind of repulsive in a way. Not to mention the fact that over-sexed, super-attractive people kind of scare me, especially partially naked ones. I simply don't know where to look. I think everyone has this problem.
So we walked off in search of another place and happened upon an up-market restaurant. The maitre'd was a really cute young man with glasses. As usual, I idly hoped he was within striking distance of my own age, probably mid-twenties. He smiled welcomingly and asked "how many". "Two" I said and smiled back in kind. I thought I saw a glimmer of something in his eyes as I briefly permitted myself to take in the set of his shoulders. He showed us to our seats. I studiously paid very little attention to his figure as he walked in front of me (I have been trying to resist the temptation of "lust"), but I couldn't help but notice he looked really nice in his little black collared shirt and black pants. Very smart.
He pulled the chair out for me when we arrived at the table. Now, personally, I thought that was fantastic and showed my appreciation by gratefully taking the proffered chair. I'm not sure if they do that for all guys, I always assumed it was something you did for girls only. That said, the "feminine" part of me was very touched by the chivalry.
We had a very pleasant dinner and I have to confess I liked it much better than the thought of spending some time at hooters. They played Billy Joel over the sound system and the menu was great, pretty reasonably priced too.
I also got to exchange a few flirtatious glances with the maitre'd. Nothing overt, just a look from me to say I approved, and a look from him to say he appreciated the compliment.
I suddenly had a sad realization. This is going to sound judgemental and maybe it is.
The men at "Hooters" were most likely conservative Christians, probably Southern Baptists or Protestants. They took their kids to watch "the game" at the "family restaurant". While eating there with their wives and children, they subjected themselves to the temptations of a number of scantily clad young women, dressed in next to nothing, girls who were, for all intents and purposes being exploited for their gender and their looks. All this on a Sunday and possibly just after church.
And at church, they were probably reminded of all the sin in the world, of guys like me, willfully sinning against God and nature by my very existence. Meanwhile, here at the posh restaurant just a few yards away, I exchanged a flirtatious glance with another (fully clothed) unmarried man of around my own age and I am the one who should feel guilty? It seems like a strange kind of morality.
During dinner we talked about gender equality in business and employment, kind of sparked by the question of whether or not the "Hooters" girls were being exploited. After dinner, my colleague said "well, I still really like to look at them, you know"
"I preferred the maitre'd myself" I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing"
Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Anyway, I protested that I "wasn't into that sort of thing". He claimed "it's not like that" so I didn't protest too much. Besides, I want to try American culture and what's more American than Hooters? I acquiesced. We arrived at the place and walked up to the entrance. Some American sports game was blaring through the PA system, from the sounds of things, probably football. As I entered I was confused to see a family with little kids (maybe 5 & 6) waiting to be served. Surely the image of "hooters" I had in my mind and the reality of this place were at odds with one another. This was a family restaurant, with little kids in it. They served burgers to kids, not sex to adults.
On closer inspection, though, both my imagination and reality turned out to be true: Hooters is a family restaurant that involves being served by scantily clad women. Thankfully, the din of the sports fans and the fact that there was no space left to sit precluded us from participating in the spectacle. I am not sure whether the spectacle was supposed to be the game or the girls.
Call me a prude but I am not so keen on such open displays of sexuality. I have been to hetero strip clubs with "pole dancers" and a gay bar which had "go-go" boys. All that overt sexuality is actually kind of off-putting for me, kind of repulsive in a way. Not to mention the fact that over-sexed, super-attractive people kind of scare me, especially partially naked ones. I simply don't know where to look. I think everyone has this problem.
So we walked off in search of another place and happened upon an up-market restaurant. The maitre'd was a really cute young man with glasses. As usual, I idly hoped he was within striking distance of my own age, probably mid-twenties. He smiled welcomingly and asked "how many". "Two" I said and smiled back in kind. I thought I saw a glimmer of something in his eyes as I briefly permitted myself to take in the set of his shoulders. He showed us to our seats. I studiously paid very little attention to his figure as he walked in front of me (I have been trying to resist the temptation of "lust"), but I couldn't help but notice he looked really nice in his little black collared shirt and black pants. Very smart.
He pulled the chair out for me when we arrived at the table. Now, personally, I thought that was fantastic and showed my appreciation by gratefully taking the proffered chair. I'm not sure if they do that for all guys, I always assumed it was something you did for girls only. That said, the "feminine" part of me was very touched by the chivalry.
We had a very pleasant dinner and I have to confess I liked it much better than the thought of spending some time at hooters. They played Billy Joel over the sound system and the menu was great, pretty reasonably priced too.
I also got to exchange a few flirtatious glances with the maitre'd. Nothing overt, just a look from me to say I approved, and a look from him to say he appreciated the compliment.
I suddenly had a sad realization. This is going to sound judgemental and maybe it is.
The men at "Hooters" were most likely conservative Christians, probably Southern Baptists or Protestants. They took their kids to watch "the game" at the "family restaurant". While eating there with their wives and children, they subjected themselves to the temptations of a number of scantily clad young women, dressed in next to nothing, girls who were, for all intents and purposes being exploited for their gender and their looks. All this on a Sunday and possibly just after church.
And at church, they were probably reminded of all the sin in the world, of guys like me, willfully sinning against God and nature by my very existence. Meanwhile, here at the posh restaurant just a few yards away, I exchanged a flirtatious glance with another (fully clothed) unmarried man of around my own age and I am the one who should feel guilty? It seems like a strange kind of morality.
During dinner we talked about gender equality in business and employment, kind of sparked by the question of whether or not the "Hooters" girls were being exploited. After dinner, my colleague said "well, I still really like to look at them, you know"
"I preferred the maitre'd myself" I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing"
Different strokes for different folks I guess.