(no subject)
so, today's one of the worst days i've had since i don't know when. in fact, i think everyone is feeling like this. i think it's a change in moon phases or something...cause there really isn't a good enough reason to say it's something else.
i miss kaley. i miss talking about things and feeling alright around her. i miss feeling whole with her and only her. i miss having only one reason to keep going and to think that she was the only person that made everything okay, even when it wasn't.
i miss my mom. i miss being with her and making her laugh at stupid stuff. i miss having her to talk to about anything whatsoever and not feeling too stupid. i miss the way she used to think and the lessons she'd teach me, craig and sarah. the most important lessons of thinking for yourself and be what you want and don't let anyone tell you anything that brings you down. and now it seems like she could care less if any of those things didn't happen.
i miss craig. i miss having him here to share our feelings about the same things. things that no one else understands cause they weren't there. things i can't talk about with sarah because she's so immature and doesn't get it. i miss helping him out and being some-what like a mother to him (even though he's my older brother). i miss being the first person to look at his art and telling him how awesome it is...now i barely ever see any new pictures.
i miss jeff. even though i see him almost everyday i still miss him. no matter if i've been away from him for 20 minutes or 20 days. i feel like an attachment to him.
i miss being happy. i never really was happy to begin with. i don't think i've been totally happy since i was 4. but i miss it. i miss being care-free and not having to worry about so many things. i miss only having to color pictures of ducks for school work. (i guess it's my fault for wanting to do more than that though...cause now look where i am)
i miss not having to complain about all the things and all the people i miss. i'm sorry if this is too "emo" for you and if i seem like the hardest corest depressed person ever...but i don't care. i have complete apathy to give you.
all is done and said for now. wait til next time. i hope it's not soon.
i miss kaley. i miss talking about things and feeling alright around her. i miss feeling whole with her and only her. i miss having only one reason to keep going and to think that she was the only person that made everything okay, even when it wasn't.
i miss my mom. i miss being with her and making her laugh at stupid stuff. i miss having her to talk to about anything whatsoever and not feeling too stupid. i miss the way she used to think and the lessons she'd teach me, craig and sarah. the most important lessons of thinking for yourself and be what you want and don't let anyone tell you anything that brings you down. and now it seems like she could care less if any of those things didn't happen.
i miss craig. i miss having him here to share our feelings about the same things. things that no one else understands cause they weren't there. things i can't talk about with sarah because she's so immature and doesn't get it. i miss helping him out and being some-what like a mother to him (even though he's my older brother). i miss being the first person to look at his art and telling him how awesome it is...now i barely ever see any new pictures.
i miss jeff. even though i see him almost everyday i still miss him. no matter if i've been away from him for 20 minutes or 20 days. i feel like an attachment to him.
i miss being happy. i never really was happy to begin with. i don't think i've been totally happy since i was 4. but i miss it. i miss being care-free and not having to worry about so many things. i miss only having to color pictures of ducks for school work. (i guess it's my fault for wanting to do more than that though...cause now look where i am)
i miss not having to complain about all the things and all the people i miss. i'm sorry if this is too "emo" for you and if i seem like the hardest corest depressed person ever...but i don't care. i have complete apathy to give you.
all is done and said for now. wait til next time. i hope it's not soon.