(no subject)
i'm back from my mom's. i had a good time. no ron=time with my momma. i went places and did things <--something that usually doesn't happen when i'm at my dad's house. my mom told sarah and i this big story of her life and how she hated being with my dad but she wanted kids and then she met ron and things were good...and she did that thing where she starts to make me believe that things might be okay if i went there and tried to resolve problems with the big jerk face...but then we go out to eat with craig and he gets super mad at my mom for listening to ron all the time and not her kids. and he goes on about how he treated us like shit and she didn't do anything. and i stepped back into my place- my "comfort zone" i guess of not having to think about going back there because i know for sure that i don't want anything to do with him anymore. she made me feel kinda guilty. the message that she sent out that i recieved was "everything used to be okay for me because i had ron and i had my kids, but now my kids are gone and it makes me sad and ron knows it...so if my kids were around ron and was nice to him then i would be okay again." so i feel like the one who is making her relationship with him kinda shrivel because sarah goes there sometimes if she's invited and craig has stopped by a few times...but i stand my ground and i won't go back. today she stopped by my dad's house to drop off our clothes and to say goodbye because i know that she probably won't see me for a while. before she left she said to me "come over soon, please". i kept saying maybe but she wanted to hear "yes"...i can't say it. even though i know we had a few good times when we were with ron, it could never make up for all of the horrible times there. but anyways...i don't know why i'm going on about all of these things when people that i probably don't know are reading it.
and this is what i was left with...
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
and this is what i was left with...
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.