It all just sorta hit me at once
That this is now my home.
Maybe it's the wine that caused me to come to this realization.
Perhaps its just that all the dust has finally settled from the move and it has time to sink in.
It could be that I'm just a little slow sometimes.
Regardless of the reason, it sank in that I no longer have a home, I am living in someone elses.
Maybe he doesn't see it that way. Maybe one day I won't either.
I realize that the first statement sort of contradicts the statement that I no longer have my own home.
But moving as much as I have, I guess I've always sort of had the philosophy of "Anywhere I lay my head is my home"
In all reality, I've been living here since May. I guess I shouldn't feel so... not uncomfortable, that's not the word I'm looking for. But I can't seem to find the actual word that I am looking for.
Out of place? No, thats not the right word either.
Perhaps there is no right word.
I guess it just seems so final. I always had my very own home to fall back on, the place I lived in since I was fifteen. The place that was all my own for two years.
This year has brought on a lot of chances. None of which I could have possibly anticipated.
Its not that I'm uncomfortable or unhappy here, I'm both comfortable and happy.
I guess it's just the loss that's affecting me.
I don't know.
But it's a little bit scary,
A little bit weird,
A little bit unsettling
Maybe it's the wine that caused me to come to this realization.
Perhaps its just that all the dust has finally settled from the move and it has time to sink in.
It could be that I'm just a little slow sometimes.
Regardless of the reason, it sank in that I no longer have a home, I am living in someone elses.
Maybe he doesn't see it that way. Maybe one day I won't either.
I realize that the first statement sort of contradicts the statement that I no longer have my own home.
But moving as much as I have, I guess I've always sort of had the philosophy of "Anywhere I lay my head is my home"
In all reality, I've been living here since May. I guess I shouldn't feel so... not uncomfortable, that's not the word I'm looking for. But I can't seem to find the actual word that I am looking for.
Out of place? No, thats not the right word either.
Perhaps there is no right word.
I guess it just seems so final. I always had my very own home to fall back on, the place I lived in since I was fifteen. The place that was all my own for two years.
This year has brought on a lot of chances. None of which I could have possibly anticipated.
Its not that I'm uncomfortable or unhappy here, I'm both comfortable and happy.
I guess it's just the loss that's affecting me.
I don't know.
But it's a little bit scary,
A little bit weird,
A little bit unsettling