i have been watching all the Disney movies hoping for a spark of understandment
Greetings.. long time hasn't it been?
i am no bum, badass person doomed for life, and i'm sorry for those who think i am. i don't hide myself, i have different emotions and the ones that make me look bad are when i'm angry, and well, that's normal. I do care about all my friends, i want to get to know a lot of people better, and i regret not visiting my friends enough, but i am just not happy-go-lucky miss social. i hate talking on the phone, and i have hard times talking to people a lot..just getting words out there. some things about my individual friends piss me off, but i let it slide because they are loved by me.
for those who see me in a different light, especially recently and with a couple posts down, i love rollercoasters, painting, laughing, dancing and singing in public (of course to embarrass people). i have fun and then i have antisocial moments. please do not judge me even though i can joke about Hitler and death unlike some of you, because things are in the past, and people must learn to lighten up. those who refuse to lighten up get mad at me and then i feel bad, but maybe they are not cut out to be my friends, because that is who i am. i live in the moment. i am sarcastic. i sing to the wind. i love milk and pillows. i am easily sadend, and cry a lot. i love potential danger and heights. i love to smile and hate to smile for all the wrong reasons. I am sick of being "cool" or "awsome" i want people to see the fun and nice in me.
i realized standing at the band picnic that i had nobody to talk to. i had my instrument that made me play it. i knew people there, i knew dominic, emma, spencer, johnny, alex, nathan and then the less known people like bridget, nikita and all the other band members, BUT i had nobody to talk to. i am not close to any of these people, it seemed to be. so i stand there and wait alone by a tree. it hurts me to know it's my fault i can't talk to these people, because it seems like they don't care to know me, or that they would rather talk to other people. i keep telling myself from now on i will make an effort to know every person and be kind to them, hoping to make some friends, but i know i can't, because i am quiet and if i am loud, people know it's not the real me, and that i'm trying maybe just a little too hard.
i am no bum, badass person doomed for life, and i'm sorry for those who think i am. i don't hide myself, i have different emotions and the ones that make me look bad are when i'm angry, and well, that's normal. I do care about all my friends, i want to get to know a lot of people better, and i regret not visiting my friends enough, but i am just not happy-go-lucky miss social. i hate talking on the phone, and i have hard times talking to people a lot..just getting words out there. some things about my individual friends piss me off, but i let it slide because they are loved by me.
for those who see me in a different light, especially recently and with a couple posts down, i love rollercoasters, painting, laughing, dancing and singing in public (of course to embarrass people). i have fun and then i have antisocial moments. please do not judge me even though i can joke about Hitler and death unlike some of you, because things are in the past, and people must learn to lighten up. those who refuse to lighten up get mad at me and then i feel bad, but maybe they are not cut out to be my friends, because that is who i am. i live in the moment. i am sarcastic. i sing to the wind. i love milk and pillows. i am easily sadend, and cry a lot. i love potential danger and heights. i love to smile and hate to smile for all the wrong reasons. I am sick of being "cool" or "awsome" i want people to see the fun and nice in me.
i realized standing at the band picnic that i had nobody to talk to. i had my instrument that made me play it. i knew people there, i knew dominic, emma, spencer, johnny, alex, nathan and then the less known people like bridget, nikita and all the other band members, BUT i had nobody to talk to. i am not close to any of these people, it seemed to be. so i stand there and wait alone by a tree. it hurts me to know it's my fault i can't talk to these people, because it seems like they don't care to know me, or that they would rather talk to other people. i keep telling myself from now on i will make an effort to know every person and be kind to them, hoping to make some friends, but i know i can't, because i am quiet and if i am loud, people know it's not the real me, and that i'm trying maybe just a little too hard.