i dont wanna be anything other than.....yours
ugh at werk once again my life is very monotonous......not much excitement.....just like blah.....
arite....i really just dont get it....i feel like i cant love again....i mean like i can love but not the way that i used to.....i mean like my heart just doesnt want to like make the effort and it sucks....i need to like jump start it or something lol...its really getting to me becuase like i have feelings for tami but then i think about it later on and it just doesnt mean much to me....its not even a big deal that shes hot or anything like that and shes a lot of fun to be with and shit and like i enjoy our kisses but idk if its all there that needs to be..i dont kno whats wrong with me....im having a serious intimacy problem and a serious commitment problem.....i guess i feel like i just cant do it ne more....how wierd would that be that like after all my fuck ups and selfish choices and disgusting decisions ive been cursed to never be able to really love again.....for the rest of my life ill move from one useless relationship to another wondering when ill finally meet the right person but i just never do and i die a lonely miserable fuck.....lol.....shit
and the worst part of it is i should be fucking happy person.....but im not....almost every girl that ive wanted to get with in the last two months i have had no problem i pretty much just say a couple words a few sweet nothings and its on with the exception of one and u kno who u are...strawberries...but it all means nothing absofuckinglutely nothing.....lol i used to have this feeling when i felt strongly for someone it was like a chill that would start deep in my stomach and eventually make my whole body tremble.....since halloween i have yet to feel that again and im worried if i really am destined to be alone or is there really someone out ther for me or is it too late but how can it be too late when im only 18 or did i have only that one chance and i blew it already it actually wouldnt suprise me i always let myself down......
.........all i have left are -marble notebook memories-
i had more to write but i just dont feel like it ne more.....most of u probably dont even read this shit and if u do u probably dont care ne ways...so peace leave one if u dont agree
+jOhn+
you should let me love you.....lol no not you....YOU
arite....i really just dont get it....i feel like i cant love again....i mean like i can love but not the way that i used to.....i mean like my heart just doesnt want to like make the effort and it sucks....i need to like jump start it or something lol...its really getting to me becuase like i have feelings for tami but then i think about it later on and it just doesnt mean much to me....its not even a big deal that shes hot or anything like that and shes a lot of fun to be with and shit and like i enjoy our kisses but idk if its all there that needs to be..i dont kno whats wrong with me....im having a serious intimacy problem and a serious commitment problem.....i guess i feel like i just cant do it ne more....how wierd would that be that like after all my fuck ups and selfish choices and disgusting decisions ive been cursed to never be able to really love again.....for the rest of my life ill move from one useless relationship to another wondering when ill finally meet the right person but i just never do and i die a lonely miserable fuck.....lol.....shit
and the worst part of it is i should be fucking happy person.....but im not....almost every girl that ive wanted to get with in the last two months i have had no problem i pretty much just say a couple words a few sweet nothings and its on with the exception of one and u kno who u are...strawberries...but it all means nothing absofuckinglutely nothing.....lol i used to have this feeling when i felt strongly for someone it was like a chill that would start deep in my stomach and eventually make my whole body tremble.....since halloween i have yet to feel that again and im worried if i really am destined to be alone or is there really someone out ther for me or is it too late but how can it be too late when im only 18 or did i have only that one chance and i blew it already it actually wouldnt suprise me i always let myself down......
.........all i have left are -marble notebook memories-
i had more to write but i just dont feel like it ne more.....most of u probably dont even read this shit and if u do u probably dont care ne ways...so peace leave one if u dont agree
+jOhn+
you should let me love you.....lol no not you....YOU