PeinSaku/Bitter Refuge.
So I've started ferrelz the PeinSaku.
I am in LOVE with the intro, totally loving it~ Working on the proper introduction scene which is so-so at this point.
One of the toughest things about this is keeping the balance even between Pein-Konan-Sakura, becaue I love Konan and I want it to be trinity not so much threesome or PeinSaku, which kinda hard ( Read more... )
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I love it, most definitely. You should keep it.
There is the balance you were aiming for; neither Sakura nor Konan gets too much attention and everything seems to lead into Pein.
I like how you introduced everyone without ever using their names (Besides Sakura) - you knew instantly it was them.
Sakura always is dedicated, never gives up hope, and is also highly independant. I think you conveyed all of these things in this, very well. The fact that Sakura has no one else, makes it easier for her to get involved with Pein I guess.
I always like how you can make things so short and consise and yet say everything you need to say. It's good. I like it.
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Yey~ I typed it out not even seeing straight x3
yeah this bit is fairly balanced, its the next bits that I am hestiant about -gnaws on Gaara as sign of indecision-
I find that when I am describing people you take a key thing about their appearance and then a key thing about their personality or mannerism and people know what you are talking about and you dont need the lengthy descriptions because people know. Of course I have a bad habit of doing this in my original fiction and assume that people know what I am talking about xD
I hummed and harred a lot about what to do with Sasuke and Naruto, I considered about putting them in, but have decided I can't put them in because I really dont know how they would interact with Pein, because they would, by the nature of the Team 7 bond. Soooo. They are shunned to Sakura's memories :D
Its a good habit I suppose, I can't write long things. but am learning, slowly I've never liked long descriptions and my writing reflects, but I hope despite this people get just as ( ... )
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