(no subject)
I think... I just reached a point of saturation.
I am half way through Hellsing...
....The rise of Serace to full Vampire was heartbreaking.
Plus lately I've been talking finer points of Naruto philosophy, the notions and motions of revenge made in point a) by Sasuke and futhered in point B) by Pein. And for the love of God, just don't try and categorise Naruto (the character) into one standard type of philosophy. It. Doesnt. Work. His straight forwardness that seems almost idiotic, is so undefinable stretching both Ancient and Modern Philosophy. You just can't label him (god forbid me labelling, its something I try not to do, but this is slightly different) like you could, say... Neji, old fashioned Determinist right thar.
(That is of course Neji NOT Post-Over Exposure To Naruto Syndrome, which almost everyone whydidyoubetraymePein, gobacktobeingsterotypedanarchist, gobaaaaack in the show gets.)
Ohgawds my brain. Its convolsing, andnandnand. I'm going to explode. People dieing, children crying CONCENTRATE ON THE FACE NAZI VAMPIRES ARE KILLING LONDON. So much death in Hellsing. Alucard isnt there. So much death. Andandand
Oh lord is this what people call a Catharsis? I think it is. I dont know. I'm not sure I've ever had one before.
;=;
I've not written in months. Whats wrong with meeee? Someone help meeeee. I can't write. Everythings wrong. Stupid Taoism making all my words seemed forced. Stupid love for a object so beyond human comprehension.
I've resorted to telling my neighbours dog who I am looking after while neighbour has surgery of the fate of poor Serace Victoria. This is how bad I am getting. I am talking to a dog. a dog, who, even if she could talk back in a language I can understand, would probably just tell me to shut up cause she's seen it all anyway.
and today at work, I know it was Hellsing invading my brain. Too much WWII. We had a Vet come get a coffee. He flinched so badly when a ballon burst and there were so many ballons. Poor man.
Why does no one see this? All this fiction, its a reflection of our society. Child soldiers, World Wars. Its not just fiction... someone, somewhere out there, is experiencing it. And then, it is all just fiction. Because all the philosophers do like to protest that this is all but a dream. But thats that stupid "tree fell, does it count if no one heard it" but thats like "child dies, but I didnt see it" But I'd shoot myself before I ever thought like that. Ever. This is my reality. This world is my reality. I've got to care because no one else does. ;=;;=;;=;;=;
I think I am just going to go hide in a Taoist temple, or do a Goldwin, become proper Anarchist, renounce Governments and just rely on my intrisic human goodness, as long as we both shall live. So mote it be.
*diafs*
(someone, please, make my brain stop)
(and some how, I am still reading Hellsing)