Dissapointment
"No, it's 2 o'clock, you need to go home!" she told me playfully, as I painfully lamented another evening spent well into opportunistic hours without making a move. It's like playing the computer at chess: I can make a good opening, I consider myself a decent player, but I can't make the right move at the right time. Yes, I have that all inhibiting fear of rejection. It hurts worse when it conflicts with my confidence. I made the call. I set it up. But I couldn't move in and make a physical motion toward what would otherwise define our evening spent drinking in her apartment, just me & her. I helped her install her air conditioner and the hours passed and nothing happened and I can only hope that maybe she was disappointed. Perhaps. For now.