booooo
So Im posting simply because i have noone else to talk to or express my feelings too...i have to vent, its imporant. So to all ya'll LJer's out there whos buddy list Im on, who i havnt talked to in forever, and have already begun to read this... just go ahead and STOP and take me off your list. thanks.
Back to the imporant stuff..
bothel sucks.. Im so lonely... I thought this would be the best thing for me, that being on my own and far away from everyone was what i wanted... like england right? well ofcourse that didnt work out for me like most things i want and so i thought fuck.. if i cant go to england, bothel must be my next best option!
... how wrong was i. Ive never been so scared and alone in my life... I only know two people who live in this city who i honestly would rather have nothing to do with!
oh and logan.. but we havnt talked in months and im pretty sure she doesnt even like me.
I miss my parents and sisters now i cant be close to them. I miss all my family in england so much.. its been over a year since i have seen any of them and around 3-4 months since i have even spoke to them! and the most important person in my life (my uncle) has recently moved to barain! in the middle fucking east! so who even knows when or if ill come across him again.
I dont like this place... I dont like having to walk 1.7 miles to work and then 1.7 miles home uphill. I dont like living in this strangers house. I dont like my job.
Even worse on top of all this, the two people i pretty much only ever hangout with have left my life. My best friend burn has moved to Hawaii and Lindseys left me for 3 months to study in Italy.
Ive thought about alot of people recently.. theres certain people Ive tried to turn too for help or to just get in touch with simple because i miss them... but they dont want anything to do with me? at times like these... what did i ever do?
... maybe im just getting the wrong impression.
Im really confused and struggling more each day, my horoscope thinks ill grow out of this phase... i hope its right.
So everything sucks for now... I feel i did something wrong and that im getting punished bad... im not trying to get in certain peoples lives again, i just want them to know that i still care and would love to atleast catch up on things... have a little company in this lonely place..
... well no matter what though.. i cant help but smile, cuz when shit really sucks or whens its real good. I always got des.
Back to the imporant stuff..
bothel sucks.. Im so lonely... I thought this would be the best thing for me, that being on my own and far away from everyone was what i wanted... like england right? well ofcourse that didnt work out for me like most things i want and so i thought fuck.. if i cant go to england, bothel must be my next best option!
... how wrong was i. Ive never been so scared and alone in my life... I only know two people who live in this city who i honestly would rather have nothing to do with!
oh and logan.. but we havnt talked in months and im pretty sure she doesnt even like me.
I miss my parents and sisters now i cant be close to them. I miss all my family in england so much.. its been over a year since i have seen any of them and around 3-4 months since i have even spoke to them! and the most important person in my life (my uncle) has recently moved to barain! in the middle fucking east! so who even knows when or if ill come across him again.
I dont like this place... I dont like having to walk 1.7 miles to work and then 1.7 miles home uphill. I dont like living in this strangers house. I dont like my job.
Even worse on top of all this, the two people i pretty much only ever hangout with have left my life. My best friend burn has moved to Hawaii and Lindseys left me for 3 months to study in Italy.
Ive thought about alot of people recently.. theres certain people Ive tried to turn too for help or to just get in touch with simple because i miss them... but they dont want anything to do with me? at times like these... what did i ever do?
... maybe im just getting the wrong impression.
Im really confused and struggling more each day, my horoscope thinks ill grow out of this phase... i hope its right.
So everything sucks for now... I feel i did something wrong and that im getting punished bad... im not trying to get in certain peoples lives again, i just want them to know that i still care and would love to atleast catch up on things... have a little company in this lonely place..
... well no matter what though.. i cant help but smile, cuz when shit really sucks or whens its real good. I always got des.