We have a winner! Step forward please Bartholomew
esmerelda_t HUZZAH! Extra rations of Maltesers for all the crew!
Horatio will soon wish he'd asked to speak to Archie before announcing he was holding his sword and thinking of him
And in second place we have:
eglantine_br with "Mr Bush, is your refrigerator running?",
latin_cat with "Surrender, M'sieu, you have no option but to- Damn! I'm so sorry, one moment... Hello? Maria, I've told you before not to call me at work!" and
anteros_lmc with "Hello? Is that Saumarez underwear sales? I'd like to order a yellow polka-dot bikini please."
To quote our favourite Admiral I despair, I really do ;)