casino royale with cheese
In an interview with Kurt Loder, Paul Haggis (writer/director of the contrived, simpleminded, and undeserving oscar winner Crash) reveals that he has helped rewrite the script to Casino Royale (the next Bond Film).
Loder: How is this film going to be different than the 1967 original?
Haggis: It will be completely different, I think. You know, it takes James Bond from the very first Ian Fleming book, "Casino Royale," when he becomes James Bond - when he gets his "Double 0" status, which means he has two kills, and therefore has his license to kill. But all the bells and whistles, all the things that Q used to give him, the gadgets, those are all gone. So you deal with the character as an assassin and what it feels like to be an assassin. And I ask the question, "Why does he treat women the way that he treats them?"
So I've either helped to re-energize this series, or I've just ruined James Bond for everybody forever.
I didn't think it was possible for my hatred of Crash to increase since Monday, but wow...
simon: this is a travesty
matt: casino royale with cheese.
simon: HA
simon: can i steal that?
matt: so bond and eva green are going to give each other longing looks from across the room and then roll credits
matt: yeah
matt: we dont want to OBJECTIFY eva green, no
simon: i dont think she's even gonna be in the film, bond will just take time out of his busy day of assassinating people to call her and talk about the weather where she is
matt: assassinating people!? what did they do???
matt: why can't he just have coffee with them and iron out their differences
simon: and he'll order her roses online from his watch
matt: HAHA
matt: no, he's going to be ordered to assassinate another spy, but only because of MI6's prejudice
matt: the other spy will turn out to have a heart of gold, but murder james bond in a freak accident
simon: hahaha
simon: and m will hire a minority to replace james
matt: right
matt: and moneypenny will have an interracial affair for absolutely no reason at all
simon: and the minority replacement will of course be a traitor and take m hostage, but then have a change of heart right before attempting to bomb china, and be heralded as a hero
matt: but then we'll find out that the guy who made the bomb from actually had another deal going on because he needed to support his family... so the bombmaker uses a remote-controlled chip to detonate it anyway
matt: and the minority replacement goes, "damn! i just blew up some chinamen!"
[EDIT (1:26pm): It has come to my attention that Paul Haggis created Walker Texas Ranger and was a writer for The Tracy Ullman Show, so it is not unreasonable to hold onto a thin sliver of hope for Casino Royale.]
Loder: How is this film going to be different than the 1967 original?
Haggis: It will be completely different, I think. You know, it takes James Bond from the very first Ian Fleming book, "Casino Royale," when he becomes James Bond - when he gets his "Double 0" status, which means he has two kills, and therefore has his license to kill. But all the bells and whistles, all the things that Q used to give him, the gadgets, those are all gone. So you deal with the character as an assassin and what it feels like to be an assassin. And I ask the question, "Why does he treat women the way that he treats them?"
So I've either helped to re-energize this series, or I've just ruined James Bond for everybody forever.
I didn't think it was possible for my hatred of Crash to increase since Monday, but wow...
simon: this is a travesty
matt: casino royale with cheese.
simon: HA
simon: can i steal that?
matt: so bond and eva green are going to give each other longing looks from across the room and then roll credits
matt: yeah
matt: we dont want to OBJECTIFY eva green, no
simon: i dont think she's even gonna be in the film, bond will just take time out of his busy day of assassinating people to call her and talk about the weather where she is
matt: assassinating people!? what did they do???
matt: why can't he just have coffee with them and iron out their differences
simon: and he'll order her roses online from his watch
matt: HAHA
matt: no, he's going to be ordered to assassinate another spy, but only because of MI6's prejudice
matt: the other spy will turn out to have a heart of gold, but murder james bond in a freak accident
simon: hahaha
simon: and m will hire a minority to replace james
matt: right
matt: and moneypenny will have an interracial affair for absolutely no reason at all
simon: and the minority replacement will of course be a traitor and take m hostage, but then have a change of heart right before attempting to bomb china, and be heralded as a hero
matt: but then we'll find out that the guy who made the bomb from actually had another deal going on because he needed to support his family... so the bombmaker uses a remote-controlled chip to detonate it anyway
matt: and the minority replacement goes, "damn! i just blew up some chinamen!"
[EDIT (1:26pm): It has come to my attention that Paul Haggis created Walker Texas Ranger and was a writer for The Tracy Ullman Show, so it is not unreasonable to hold onto a thin sliver of hope for Casino Royale.]