185: theatrical_muse 284
Talk about a time you were forced out of something.
It wasn't my decision to close down the X-Files. I can't say I would have stayed; already I was coming apart at the seams. But it was people higher than John and I who shut them down and sent us back to CID, whether we liked it or not.
On one hand, I'll admit I felt a sense of relief. Those two years were easily the hardest of my life. They put me under unfathomable emotional and mental strain, and exposed me to things that I feared. I almost lost my partner on repeated occasions, which is the thing that terrifies me more than anything else. I worked so hard trying to prove I could belong and to close every case, and in the end I just ran out of energy. I was empty.
Yet on the other hand I was also disappointed. We all knew there was more out there than we'd found, even in the years - a decade, if not more - since the X-Files had been opened. Even after all that time, there was still more work to be done. I knew that this was the life's work of two very dear friends, and I couldn't help but feel that I was letting them down, even if it wasn't my choice to do so. I knew I was leaving behind an experience that I would never forget and never have again. Something that would color the rest of my life.
If I could change that moment, would I? I don't know. But I do know sometimes, things are out of my control. Very much out of my control.
Muse: Stark Patrick
Fandom: The X-Files (OC)
Words: 272
It wasn't my decision to close down the X-Files. I can't say I would have stayed; already I was coming apart at the seams. But it was people higher than John and I who shut them down and sent us back to CID, whether we liked it or not.
On one hand, I'll admit I felt a sense of relief. Those two years were easily the hardest of my life. They put me under unfathomable emotional and mental strain, and exposed me to things that I feared. I almost lost my partner on repeated occasions, which is the thing that terrifies me more than anything else. I worked so hard trying to prove I could belong and to close every case, and in the end I just ran out of energy. I was empty.
Yet on the other hand I was also disappointed. We all knew there was more out there than we'd found, even in the years - a decade, if not more - since the X-Files had been opened. Even after all that time, there was still more work to be done. I knew that this was the life's work of two very dear friends, and I couldn't help but feel that I was letting them down, even if it wasn't my choice to do so. I knew I was leaving behind an experience that I would never forget and never have again. Something that would color the rest of my life.
If I could change that moment, would I? I don't know. But I do know sometimes, things are out of my control. Very much out of my control.
Muse: Stark Patrick
Fandom: The X-Files (OC)
Words: 272