164: theatrical_muse 273
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? (Who will guard the guards themselves?)
That's always been the conundrum. Especially when working on the X-Files. We laid our lives on the line to find the truth and protect people from what was out there -- but who was there to protect us? There wasn't anyone. We all had to protect each other. Without each other, we were lost.
When things got tough it was always my first instinct to turn to John. My partner had always protected me. But there were times even he wasn't there. When he was knocked out in that subway in Boston, or when he was missing, or when he was in that coma. I had to learn to function without him. I don't think I did it very well, but I managed. And I had to trust other people - Scully, Mulder, Assistant Director Skinner - to get me through.
I know those two years have left scars on me. Nowhere near as many as those on Mulder, or Scully, or Skinner, or even my partner, so I also know that I am lucky. I know that I'll always be haunted, though, by John's death, by his disappearance, by some of the supernatural things that I have seen and experienced. It was those times I wished someone could have been there for us like we were always there. Someone to help us get through it, so there wouldn't be quite so many wounds left to heal.
Muse: Stark Patrick
Fandom: The X-Files (OC)
Words: 237
That's always been the conundrum. Especially when working on the X-Files. We laid our lives on the line to find the truth and protect people from what was out there -- but who was there to protect us? There wasn't anyone. We all had to protect each other. Without each other, we were lost.
When things got tough it was always my first instinct to turn to John. My partner had always protected me. But there were times even he wasn't there. When he was knocked out in that subway in Boston, or when he was missing, or when he was in that coma. I had to learn to function without him. I don't think I did it very well, but I managed. And I had to trust other people - Scully, Mulder, Assistant Director Skinner - to get me through.
I know those two years have left scars on me. Nowhere near as many as those on Mulder, or Scully, or Skinner, or even my partner, so I also know that I am lucky. I know that I'll always be haunted, though, by John's death, by his disappearance, by some of the supernatural things that I have seen and experienced. It was those times I wished someone could have been there for us like we were always there. Someone to help us get through it, so there wouldn't be quite so many wounds left to heal.
Muse: Stark Patrick
Fandom: The X-Files (OC)
Words: 237