ϡ - chapter thirteen; rememberance [action|written]

[folkloristic]

[ Around mid-afternoon Helios will be making his way across town with a small bundle of flowers in his hands. It might seem a bit odd, random even, but today is a rather...hard day for him; regardless he does have a small smile on his face as he makes his way through town. There's soft hum coming from his lips, absentmindedly and almost

Comments

[Written]

[consultmybooks]

There are things I would change. But there are also things I would leave as they were.

I think it depends whether or not the event in question actually taught a lesson, or whether or not it was just a senseless tragedy.

[Written]

[folkloristic]

Yes that make sense. Things that are tragic often make us wish we could have forestalled them, or even done something to alter the event. Then again the tragedy also could have been teaching a lesson as well.

Re: [Written]

[consultmybooks]

Been through both, unfortunately. Side effect of living in a place like Sunnydale.

If there was nothing you could have done to prevent the event, then there can't really have been a lesson to it.

On the other hand, looking back, it's all too easy to see things you could have done differently.

[Written]

[folkloristic]

I can only imagine especially with a Hellmouth there to boot. [ He pauses in writing a response because he could have done something to prevent it. ]

It's not always easy to look back on things, wondering what we missed or could have changed. But to not do so would be a blatant disregard for whatever it was we lost.

Re: [Written]

[consultmybooks]

Yes, I suppose it would. Even if the mistakes you made were minor, you owe it to everyone not to make them again. [And Giles has to pause, at that - three people close to him have died all because he did something wrong] I suppose the lesson isn't always obvious, then.

Helios, are you all right? What's brought this on?

[Written]

[folkloristic]

Learning from one's mistakes...cruel yet needed. [ He pauses before continuing. ] If we did everything perfectly the first time nothing would be different, then again everything would be as how you wanted it. But we would possibly be empty, without emotions or character, due to the altering of them through our mistakes.

[ There's some blotches as he wants to write something, but then quickly scribbles a reply. ] Yes I'm all right, nothing to worry about. I was just thinking about something. [ He is a failtastic liar even through writing. ]

Re: [Written]

[consultmybooks]

I suppose you're right. I know my mistakes have certainly done a lot to make me who I am. On the other hand, a lot of what they've done hasn't exactly been positive.

[Written]

[folkloristic]

Mistakes hardly are. [ A small momentary pause before he writes the next question. ] Do you think it would it be selfish...to want to change something so that you're happy? But the change doesn't effect too many people, but all the same asking for a second chance when rarely we're ever given it. Is that more selfish than just coping like everyone else?

Re: [Written]

[consultmybooks]

Something like letting someone live who would otherwise have died?

[Written]

[folkloristic]

[ Oh god that hits home pretty hard so give him a few minutes to respond Giles. ]

Yes...something like that.

Re: [Written]

[consultmybooks]

[Giles doesn't notice - his reply was entirely personal, after all, and now he's trying to get that old, familiar litany of "why did you leave her there?" out of his head]

For something like that?

No, it's not selfish. It's often futile, and that can be even worse, but it's not selfish.

[Written]

[folkloristic]

I want to think it isn't, but I know that's not true, because we really cannot change the past. Hypothetically speaking if we could, I would.

But some part of me wishes everyday that it wasn't futile.

Re: [Written]

[consultmybooks]

I understand. And wanting to change things, wanting to make them better, is normal. The past can't be changed - that doesn't stop us wishing for it.

But acting on those desires is always more problematic than it seems. Sometimes it just makes things worse. [But even that's a gray area now]

[Then, after a pause, Giles writes in another note] Helios, where are you?

[Written]

[folkloristic]

[ He reads the response and it's all so very true. It takes him a few moments to reply, to get his thoughts back in some order. ]

In town by the fountain.

Re: [Written]

[consultmybooks]

I just realized that this is the second time we've spoken and we've never actually met in person. Do you mind?

[Written]

[folkloristic]

Oh no not at all. I do apologize for the mood. [ He wouldn't mind the company at all right now however. ]