hmm
after the naming of the new Pope, I was playing around a little. I changed my MSN name to "A Conservative Pope - Does this mean I can't have sex with women?" and of course this piqued the interest of my ex. He told me to go ahead and a have sex with women, as long as he could watch.
I told him he'd only want to join in. (we've been down this road before...). Next thing you know, we are seriously discussing it and trying to figure out if we know anyone who would do it. I mean, WHAT? and of course, one thing leads to another and we are really typing words too dirty to repeat.
And although I'm sure none of you want to hear about me and cyber sex, there is something 'wrong' with me when it comes to this dude. First, I followed him to university even though he was already dating a new girl (who interestingly enough shared my name and my exact birth date). Through no fault of my own, I've been the reason for 3 of his break ups in the last 5 years. He and i have been in an intense on and off again relationship since we were 12. It's insane. I saw his father on the weekend and realized that I still want to be with this dude. I want to be with him despite the fact - and this is the kicker - he came out to me last summer while i was giving him a blow job. classy, i know. SO here i am confused with this gay ex boyfriend who has the very straight urge to watch me with another woman. do i only want him because i can't have him? or do i want him because i want to go back to the time in my life he represents. i think i need more therapy for this...
i'm very confused. and i think i need a boy toy (or a really great vibrator) to take my mind off him for good. is it just me, or does this sound like bad news?
I told him he'd only want to join in. (we've been down this road before...). Next thing you know, we are seriously discussing it and trying to figure out if we know anyone who would do it. I mean, WHAT? and of course, one thing leads to another and we are really typing words too dirty to repeat.
And although I'm sure none of you want to hear about me and cyber sex, there is something 'wrong' with me when it comes to this dude. First, I followed him to university even though he was already dating a new girl (who interestingly enough shared my name and my exact birth date). Through no fault of my own, I've been the reason for 3 of his break ups in the last 5 years. He and i have been in an intense on and off again relationship since we were 12. It's insane. I saw his father on the weekend and realized that I still want to be with this dude. I want to be with him despite the fact - and this is the kicker - he came out to me last summer while i was giving him a blow job. classy, i know. SO here i am confused with this gay ex boyfriend who has the very straight urge to watch me with another woman. do i only want him because i can't have him? or do i want him because i want to go back to the time in my life he represents. i think i need more therapy for this...
i'm very confused. and i think i need a boy toy (or a really great vibrator) to take my mind off him for good. is it just me, or does this sound like bad news?