bug
It's hard trying to get over being treated really poorly by someone you care about deeply. In part, there's a feeling that justice has not been served but of the emotional hangup's I have it's the one I'm most willing to let go (It's the part of me angry that I should be alone while this other person gets to keep on keeping on). I am not a dispenser of justice and I don't feel comfortable asking the universe to dispense it for me so it's best to just let that part go. Yet, there is this ache, this stab that the last communication from someone who professed love was to insult me as cunningly as they could. I hate too that I didn't know any better, didn't see any of this coming. I was just la la la until I got pied in the face. I can't stop reliving in my head the last things that we said to each other. Thinking I should have responded this way or that. I know that I should shut the door on this person but I'm seriously so hopeful that at some point they will speak to me with the dignity and respect that I afforded them. Or they might not ever. Either way I just wish I could stop thinking about this stuff over and over.