FFMoPE: Fashion Blog Edition #4: The Laundry Bin Scale

Nov 27, 2009 02:05

(How is it 2 AM already? Where did the time go?)

I was thinking, just the other day, about how so many stylish people always seem to be inspired by one thing or another and dress accordingly. You know: "I was inspired when I saw a second-hand shop fornicating with an art teacher, so I decided to dress as what I think their offspring would look like. This dress used to belong to my great uncle in 1749, in Prussia. His sister made it for him, when her cat died."

And I thought, why am I not inspired by anything? Am I so completely uncool that nothing in this world gives me the "oh, this is how I should look like" -vibes? But then it hit me.

My biggest inspiration, style-wise, is my laundry bin. Nothing fancy, just the old white plastic container I throw my dirty clothes in. (It was a generous gift from my aunt who had stored it in her garage for the past ten years. It's a beautiful bin.)

I also realised my style can actually be rated by what I decided to call The Laundry Bin Scale.



This graph gives you a general idea of what I'm talking about.

What this means, is that the amount of clothes currently in the laundry bin defines what I look like when I go out in the morning (whether I'm going to school or to work also has some effect but the Bin is a much bigger influence).

Laundry Bin Scale 1
This is a rare event and a happy one. The bin is nearly empty, which means I have all the clothes in the world closet to choose from.

The result usually ends up looking something like this:



Jacket: KappAhl
Shirt: Ichi
Jeans: Some sales rack somewhere
Stupid-ass-face: Way past bedtime

Laundry Bin Scale 2
Life is still good and there's quite a bit of rags to choose from. At this point I usually go for my broad collection of vests as they seem to make anything look neater and more professional. A great trick for looking pro at work.



Shirt: I think my closet gave birth to it
T-shirt: Ames Bros.
Vest: Seppälä
Jeans: See previous

Laundry Bin Scale 3
This is when it gets creative. And because I'm way too lazy most of time, the result seems to be a random combination of one of my many hoodies and a t-shirt. And those same jeans because they're my favourite pair. (I do have others, too, but they're nowhere near as comfy and gorgeous.)

This also seems to be the time to look confused and strip while sneering disgustedly (which, apparently is a real word).



T-shirt: David & Goliath
Hoodie: Seppälä
Jeans: You get the point already, don't you

Laundry Bin Scale 4
And now it's getting weird. This is the point when I keep getting funny looks and my co-workers ask me just what the hell it is I'm wearing. My usual retort is "It's laundry-day" which is a lie, because I never manage to do laundry until it's one of those mornings when you have to hand-wash and blow-dry your clothes if you want to get dressed.



T-shirt: Dir en grey tour 05 -merchandise
Jacket: An old couch
Trousers: A clearance bin

Laundry Bin Scale 5
This is like the ninth circle of Hell. There's absolutely nothing sensible to wear and it's usually way too late to do the wash-and-blow-dry -routine. Which means I have to dig way too deep into my closet and reach for the forbidden items. The ones that should have been thrown out years ago but haven't since they have ~*emotional value*~.

I try to keep these days to a minimum or at least make sure they don't land on dates when I should actually leave the house. Because, oh god no.



Shirt: A tourist shop in London. Ten years ago.
Skirt: Soaked in Luxury (... what?)
Socks: Hell if I know

So yes, now you'll know what the state of my laundry bin is just by looking at what I'm wearing. On most days I'm a 3, which is why I have so many hoodies. They save me from having to think in the morning.

And as an added bonus, because I can't be arsed to look up a suitable YouTube-link, have a picture of my new winter-jacket that I'm going to wear every single goddamn day even if it is plus ten degrees Celsius outside because I paid way too much for it (I didn't, not really, I'm just not used to buying clothes that cost over 50 €).



Jacket: KappAhl
Hat: Seppälä
Trousers: A clearance rack somewhere
Boots: No-brand from KenkäMarski
Face: Courtesy of last Wednesday's "I'm sick but have to go out regardless" -coma

wtf, ffmope, fashun, camhoar

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