make it stop.
I worked too hard, partied too hard, slept too little, and my body is through with the bullshit (for a day). Not going to work tomorrow, just sleeping all day. I wish I lived closer to people, it would be swell, if say, Dan wanted to make me soup, which I bet he would. Last night he made burritos for my birthday and had a bunch of people over. We played apples to apples and it was fun but I started to dislike girlfriend for being too practical and not funny. Dan's eyes were there too. At the party, they were there, being magnetic and mesmerizing. I tried not to look, but then they were looking at me. I blame it on them.
This morning I ended up out to breakfast with him, the girl, and Jack and it felt really weird like a double date. Jack has been so sweet, trying super hard to be "the guy" but stupid me, I can't, just can't, stop adoring Dan. With his girl right there. It felt so obscene. Innocent eggs for everyone, and I'm stripping him with my eyes, then looking out the window at the falling snow, hating myself for ending up with this situation. I ask everyone what they're doing for the rest of the day.
Girlfriend: "I have to go see my grandmother at some point."
Jack: "I'm driving down to Rye, but will probably be back up tomorrow."
Dan: "I have to study."
Me: "for what?"
Dan: "EMT stuff, I'm a little out of touch."
In my head, all matter-of-fact (though I know I had a fever already so I was extra retarded): "Well I'm around if you need someone to practice mouth-to-mouth on." I almost started laughing, then looked at cute redhead girlfriend, hated myself some more, then looked out the window again.
Jack told me I looked like shit this morning.
Awesome.
This morning I ended up out to breakfast with him, the girl, and Jack and it felt really weird like a double date. Jack has been so sweet, trying super hard to be "the guy" but stupid me, I can't, just can't, stop adoring Dan. With his girl right there. It felt so obscene. Innocent eggs for everyone, and I'm stripping him with my eyes, then looking out the window at the falling snow, hating myself for ending up with this situation. I ask everyone what they're doing for the rest of the day.
Girlfriend: "I have to go see my grandmother at some point."
Jack: "I'm driving down to Rye, but will probably be back up tomorrow."
Dan: "I have to study."
Me: "for what?"
Dan: "EMT stuff, I'm a little out of touch."
In my head, all matter-of-fact (though I know I had a fever already so I was extra retarded): "Well I'm around if you need someone to practice mouth-to-mouth on." I almost started laughing, then looked at cute redhead girlfriend, hated myself some more, then looked out the window again.
Jack told me I looked like shit this morning.
Awesome.