so much dead manatee.
Oh, RHYS. Singing along to the radio commercial for his own workplace. You won't be sorry with a Harwood's lorry. Heeee, he wrote those bits himself! And later, Ruth says: You just missed the advert, which makes me think about the two of them, sitting in their trailer office, listening to the radio so that they can hear the commercial and sing it over and over again. In this episode especially, Rhys and Gwen remind me of Marge and Norm Gunderson of Fargo. Marge has to deal with wood-chippered criminals, but at the end of the day, she's really proud of Norm getting his mallard design on the 2c stamp. They warm my heart, man. Also, he pulls over to answer his phone. Good man, Rhys.
Smart, starting the episode with a death that doesn't have anything to do with aliens and Rhys's reaction is properly horrified; the driver's death is no less tragic for having come about by mundane means. He doesn't care about the truck or about what the truck was carrying (It's just meat), he just wants to know if the driver's okay. Unsurprising that the team doesn't seem to care about anything except for the meat in question. Interesting that Gwen doesn't remember the driver later; he's just some random person to her instead of a dead 25 year old with a wife and a baby. Obviously the work is changing her. She's no longer the person who would spend all day profiling a young woman she'd never met before, hoping to find clues by understanding her life. Ianto seems shocked to find out that Rhys works for Harwood's Hauling, which struck me as off at first. But then again, it's true, that when Rhys dies in End of Days, Gwen says, bitterly, "You never even met him." She's leveling that accusation not just at Tosh, but the team at large. Everyone at TW is completely focused on their jobs and they don't really care to know about the personal lives of the people they would willingly die for; Ianto's no exception.
That first Gwen/Rhys interaction was so beautifully awkward, the two of them trying to suss each other out. Rhys's expression when he realizes that Gwen is lying to his face. Gwen's uncertainty as to whether or not Rhys might know what was in the back of that truck. Kita is right, though. Gwen is so maternal with Rhys, kissing him on the forehead, sending him to bed, sending him off to have a pint with his friends like she's dropping him off at kindergarten. She's fiercely protective of him, but in a very parental way. Jack calls Rhys a caveman for sticking his nose into Gwen's work when he thinks Gwen is in trouble, but if Rhys is a caveman, Gwen is a mother hen. I'm not sure this relationship is going to work.
The second argument was perfection. Us is falling to shit! Rhys is no dummy, no matter what he fears about himself or what Gwen may think in weak moments. Kai (I'll use his first name so as not to confuse between Kai Owen and Owen Harper) and Myles are so good in this scene, talking and yelling over each other like a proper fight, both of them more interested in saying the things they've desperately wanted to say to each other rather than listening to the other person. And Gwen's RELIEF at finally being able to tell the truth. Man.
Very briefly: I'm not leaving you here with all these sexy young men. We'll, two out of three of those guys are sleeping with each other and Gwen's already boinked the third one, so in some technical sense Rhys doesn't have anything to worry about. I would complain about how this whole episode was basically like, "Lalalalalala, Gwen and Owen never happened! Nothing to see there!" except that's kind of how I feel about it, too, so nevermind.
Rhys's excitement at the end of the episode, all that wonder in his voice. Adorable. Which is to say: Rhys Deathwatch Countdown, ENGAGE. And Gwen finally acknowledging that Rhys's love is something valuable and worth keeping. I've been waiting for that. And her refusing to give him the retcon went a long to way to helping me forgive her for giving it to him last year. Back then, she gave it to him for selfish reasons. This time, she refuses to give it to him for his own good. Much, much, much better.
Gwen: Have you ever eaten alien meat?
Jack: Yeah.
Gwen: What was it like?
Jack: He seemed to enjoy it.
Hahahahahahaha.
After giving Jack a little white curly-wired earpiece thing last week, I see the Invisible Earpiece Network (TM drho, I think) is back. This is the thing about a) not having a writing team and b) shooting the episodes out of sequence. Continuity is for shit on this show. And everyone's hair (esp. the guys') is out of sync. I'm okay with earpieces coming and going but the HAIR THING OMG. It bothers me.
The Jack/Rhys was so much better than I could ever have dreamed of it being. The show doesn't pit Gwen against Ianto, so I shouldn't have been surprised when they didn't pit Rhys and Jack against each other. Their conflict was played off as a joke, but it was also an opportunity for Rhys to stand up to Jack, which was refreshing on several different levels, esp. in an episode in which Jack had his unilateral-decision-maker setting on ULTIMATE EXTREME LEVEL RED. Ultimately, the guys come to an understanding, which seems to be, basically, that Jack is really hot but Rhys is okay with that. That moment when Jack gets into the back of the van, he's worried about Rhys, too. You're not gay by any chance, are you? Haaaa! Also, THANK YOU SHOW for refuting all of that terrible, awful fanfic out there in which Rhys is automatically a homophobic asshat because he likes rugby and Wife Swap.
This is rather homoerotic. How homoerotic? Let us count the ways: cock things up, handle, big boy, stuff it. That is a lot of homoeroticism in one encounter, my friends.
Jack wants Gwen to have a life, but he doesn't want that life to interfere with her work. I think Jack does want Gwen, very badly, but he cares about her more. He's willing to obey the boundaries of 21st century convention for her sake, which is just as intentional a decision as him asking Ianto out on a date.
You have to do as I say. Pretty much Jack's motto, isn't it?
Jack's accent thing. Why is he trying out all these accents on Gwen? Why? Why is it always so awkward? Barrowman, obviously, is pretty amazing at accents. So why doesn't this work? Why are they trying to make it work? WHY?
Heee! Jack and Ruth. I do believe he goosed her off camera. Would I need a license for *trucking*? Oh, Jack Harkness. Never change. In more important news: WHY do they dye and highlight Barrowman's hair in that ricockulous way? It's RICOCKULOUS.
MEAT PIES. Western Civilization, I think it would be a wonderful idea. AUGH WHITE PEOPLE.
Ianto: Guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime?
Tosh: Tell me exactly how we're going to use it to arm ourselves against the future?
Owen: We could always hide behind it.
These three are win, win, win. I want to see an episode in which Jack and Gwen are abducted and Ianto and Tosh and Owen have to run things by themselves and it's all snark and eyerolls and sniping and hilarity for 47 minutes.
I love that Ianto's reaction to all the tension between Gwen and Jack was, in short, "Awk-ward."
Ianto's bib! He had a *lot* of funny lines this episode, but I literally fell off the couch laughing when he and Owen walked into the slaughterhouse and Ianto gagged a little and then he went, "Mmmmmmmm," with that grossed out look on his face. BEST BOY BEST.
TORCHWOOD! When are you going to get holsters for your weapons, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Stop tucking your guns into your pants! *RIPS HAIR OUT*
Hahaha, stupid Dale. Threatening to shoot Gwen is useless. You should have threatened to shoot Rhys or Ianto.
And now: Ianto struggling with Dale and punching him and getting punched = HOTTEST THING EVER Y/Y? Except then it just gets hotter and hotter. Low, gravely voice, oh, yes. Man, they've managed to build a character who wears a napkin bib when he's eating pizza and then who goes and stuns a guy IN THE FACE, and it works. It really works.
Oh, Jack/Ianto. Friends, we get the text but we still get the subtext. We get both! All those lingering, meaningful looks. Ianto's shit-eating smile when Tosh categorizes them as sad and single -- delightful. I'm still mulling over this scene, though. I have a tendency to perceive their relationship as sad, sad, sad, sad, sad. I mean, if the show is brave, Ianto will die. If the show is really brave, Jack will have to kill him. So, while Tosh and Owen bump against each other's boundaries uncomfortably, Jack and Ianto have already struck those boundaries down and there they are, Ianto looking off into the distance in between sliding Jack wary looks while Jack circles his office and stares Ianto down like a HAWK. Are there different interpretations of this scene out there? What are you guys thinking?
On the other hand, it's pretty awesome how Jack just can not help himself. It's a bit bigger than mine, Rhys says and Jack fucking well giggles and turns to give Ianto a look while Ianto shifts his gaze away like, "STOP IT and also, yes, it's very big, NOW STOP IT."
Jack: Do I show off?
Ianto: Just a bit.
See? Funny! I need to try to remember that.
Gratuitous Eve Myles ass-shot. I APPROVE OF YOU.
To sum up: Good episode. Out of the four episodes aired so far, it's number four, but it was still really solid. Next week's looks amazing.