Career Advice
I need some career advice. Before I begin, I don’t fill comfortable broadcasting to the world exactly what these careers are. While I’ve mentioned one by name in the past, I’ve always censored it out after the entry was posted for a little bit. You never know who might be reading. Consequently, I’ll synthesize these careers with a few of the anime series I’ve watched. Doing so should conceal what they are while conveying each career’s shear awesomeness. Simultaneously, any reader who doesn’t actually know me may just think I’m full of crap and trying to get attention, which I’m not…or am I?
Several years ago, I applied to become a demon hunter for the federal government. I went through the entire hiring process for the Demon Hunter Agency (a physical fitness test, a psychological exam, a drug screening, a panel interview with three senior demon hunters) except the background check when the DHA instituted a hiring freeze. So, I waited for over two years.
Last fall, for reasons that warrant a long explanation I’ve already given, I thought my application for the DHA had been terminated. However, I discovered that the Cyborg Ninja Defense Division was also hiring, so I applied to become one of their agents. Around that time, the demon hunters contacted me about updating my application, so it had not been terminated at all. They sent me an email at work, which bothered me because I don't remember giving them my work email. I’m probably being watched all the time. I’ve since quit showering in the nude. Now, I’m going to have to choose. Should I hunt demons for a living, or should I defend my country from cyborg ninjas.
I was thinking about showing a pro/con list comparing the two positions, but the pros of one are the cons of the other, so I’ll just do a pro list.
Demon Hunter Agency
1. More interesting job relocations. The DHA wants to relocate me to somewhere like NYC; I can live somewhere like there on their salary with no trouble since I don’t have a family or any debt. After several years, I can go hunt demons abroad in Asia or Russia as well.
2. DHA applicants seem to be more professional, or at least better educated.
3. Requires a higher security clearance, so I could transfer to different branch of law enforcement (such as Vampire Tracking and Defense) with less red tape.
4. More relevant to my college degrees in accounting (apparently, soul devouring generates a lot of laundered money, which the DHA would need me to trace).
5. Our nation seems to be better at enforcing our anti-demon laws rather than protecting against cyborg ninjas.
6. Because of the money laundering component, it’d be easier to explain leaving my accounting position to become a demon hunter rather than to fight cyborg ninjas.
Cyborg Ninja Defense Division
1. Appears to be better organized and more efficiently run. I applied a few months ago, and I am almost at the same point in their hiring process as I am in the DHA ’s hiring process.
2. Emphasizes physical conditioning, which I’m much better at than accounting.
3. Although I’d have to jump through more bureaucratic hoops since I wouldn’t start out with as much security clearance, much of the laws the CNDD covers are also covered by the Vampire Tracking and Defense. If I were to transfer branches, I’d already be familiar with its law’s jurisdiction.
4. Cyborg ninjas don’t speak English, so I’d get to go to language school. If I were to transfer over to VTD and then go hunt vampires in Russia or Asia, I’d already have experience learning a new language.
5. The CNDD has cooler equipment. I could also potentially join the CNDD’s SWAT team, which has some of the absolute coolest equipment imaginable.
6. I feel that the CNDD’s mission is more critical as far as protecting my country.
Og Mandino once wrote that one’s choices determine his or her life destinations. Many of those choices seem insignificant (who to date, which hobbies to pursue, what books to read). This choice is not one of those. This decision is obviously one of the biggest decisions I will ever make. I’m reluctant to ask for advice. I don’t want wherever I go in life to be the result of what someone else told me to do. Still, I can’t help but ask what else I should consider.
Several years ago, I applied to become a demon hunter for the federal government. I went through the entire hiring process for the Demon Hunter Agency (a physical fitness test, a psychological exam, a drug screening, a panel interview with three senior demon hunters) except the background check when the DHA instituted a hiring freeze. So, I waited for over two years.
Last fall, for reasons that warrant a long explanation I’ve already given, I thought my application for the DHA had been terminated. However, I discovered that the Cyborg Ninja Defense Division was also hiring, so I applied to become one of their agents. Around that time, the demon hunters contacted me about updating my application, so it had not been terminated at all. They sent me an email at work, which bothered me because I don't remember giving them my work email. I’m probably being watched all the time. I’ve since quit showering in the nude. Now, I’m going to have to choose. Should I hunt demons for a living, or should I defend my country from cyborg ninjas.
I was thinking about showing a pro/con list comparing the two positions, but the pros of one are the cons of the other, so I’ll just do a pro list.
Demon Hunter Agency
1. More interesting job relocations. The DHA wants to relocate me to somewhere like NYC; I can live somewhere like there on their salary with no trouble since I don’t have a family or any debt. After several years, I can go hunt demons abroad in Asia or Russia as well.
2. DHA applicants seem to be more professional, or at least better educated.
3. Requires a higher security clearance, so I could transfer to different branch of law enforcement (such as Vampire Tracking and Defense) with less red tape.
4. More relevant to my college degrees in accounting (apparently, soul devouring generates a lot of laundered money, which the DHA would need me to trace).
5. Our nation seems to be better at enforcing our anti-demon laws rather than protecting against cyborg ninjas.
6. Because of the money laundering component, it’d be easier to explain leaving my accounting position to become a demon hunter rather than to fight cyborg ninjas.
Cyborg Ninja Defense Division
1. Appears to be better organized and more efficiently run. I applied a few months ago, and I am almost at the same point in their hiring process as I am in the DHA ’s hiring process.
2. Emphasizes physical conditioning, which I’m much better at than accounting.
3. Although I’d have to jump through more bureaucratic hoops since I wouldn’t start out with as much security clearance, much of the laws the CNDD covers are also covered by the Vampire Tracking and Defense. If I were to transfer branches, I’d already be familiar with its law’s jurisdiction.
4. Cyborg ninjas don’t speak English, so I’d get to go to language school. If I were to transfer over to VTD and then go hunt vampires in Russia or Asia, I’d already have experience learning a new language.
5. The CNDD has cooler equipment. I could also potentially join the CNDD’s SWAT team, which has some of the absolute coolest equipment imaginable.
6. I feel that the CNDD’s mission is more critical as far as protecting my country.
Og Mandino once wrote that one’s choices determine his or her life destinations. Many of those choices seem insignificant (who to date, which hobbies to pursue, what books to read). This choice is not one of those. This decision is obviously one of the biggest decisions I will ever make. I’m reluctant to ask for advice. I don’t want wherever I go in life to be the result of what someone else told me to do. Still, I can’t help but ask what else I should consider.