(no subject)
moms in one of her weird moods..they make me feel so bad. because i know she's mad about something but she wont tell me why so then i feel like i'm dissappointing her but whatever. there eyes were watching god is such a good book.. its a terrible thing when girls compromise who they are for boys--but hey, i do it all the time. it's weird..when you wait on something for so long then you get it and something else is going on in your life that seems better. i dunno if that made since..but it did to me and i just write this to getout stress. something that seemed so serious doesn't seem like that big of a deal anymore. but then there are always these chances you can take because at the time they feel right. but how come this other has felt right until you get it. or it feels right at times but at other times it seems wrong. seems like roles have been switched..the one who used to make you feel like a queen makes you feel like nothing..and the one who you just wanted to be nothing makes you feel like you can accomplish anything. i dunno, just i lost a lot of my drive way back and i always have it in little spurts but someone has brought it back. i dunno..whatever. everyone and everything in your life defines who you are and i need it all. theres no time to be secluding anyone or anybody--this is when i'm growin. i hate when you love people how they dont want you to love them. a lot of people mean the world to me but they get frustrated because i dont love them like they want me to. it stinks..but you know i understand. self esteem is a hard thing to boost--well not really hard to boost but hard to mantain. i just wish everyone, including myself, could realize they are WORTH being treated well, waiting for, making your own decisions, and not being afraid to say things because you think you might sound stupid..or people might look down on you. i hate basing happiness on other people, but you know that seems to be how it rolls these days..