Pan 16
Two months ago...
As he neared her door, he could hear music playing.
It was low and soft.
That was never a good sign.
‘Somebody come and play….’ a little girl’s voice sang plainly by herself.
‘Somebody come and play today….’
Martin sighed as he stood in front of the door to Jessie’s room.
He didn’t like the way this scene was set up.
He paused at the door, staring at it.
There was a small white board with her name on it in script. “Jessica”
Written on it I black magic marker were the words, ‘GO AWAY!’
That message was new.
He knocked,
No answer.
He knocked again.
The music got louder.
‘Somebody come and be my friend,’
He held his breath, and tried the knob it was unlocked, he sighed and pushed the door open and poked his head in.
She was lying on her bed with her back to the door; she was facing the sliding door that led to her balcony.
‘And watch the sun till it rains again…’ the music continued.
“Jessie?” he said,
“Jessie, Honey, its dad…”
She didn’t move a muscle.
‘Somebody come and play, today.’ the music slowly faded away.
He knew the song, it had been a favorite of his when he was little and had passed it on to her when she was a child.
It made everything just a little bit harder.
“Sesame Street, Jess?” he said trying to sound jovial. “Aren’t you a little old for…”
“It’s a song for babies,” Her voice coming quick, and cold. “I can’t go to the dance, Babies can’t go out, and babies stay home, so I thought it was appropriate. Baby music for baby Jessie.”
Yeah this wasn’t going to be pretty.
“Now, Jessie.”
“Goo, gah.” she said
Nope, this was going to be really ugly.
“Your mother and I have been talking…”
“Don’t you mean Mom’s been talking and you’ve been listening?”
“Ok,” Martin sighed, “You hurt me, you proud of yourself now?”
“Maybe…”
“That was kind of mean you know.” he was fishing,
“Mean! Mean?” she started to move. “Mean? You think I’m being mean!?”
He’d caught her,
“Yes, Jessica,” Martin countered, “Being mean, you knew your Mother wouldn’t let you go to the dance, so you asked me. You figured I’d say yes, and then you’d have an opening, to get what you wanted. You played me.”
Jessie turned to face him.
Score! He thought, face to face, much better than talking to the back of her head. Now he would be able to read her expressions, he’d know where he stood.
Of course that was a two way street, she’d be able to do the same.
But hey, he was the adult he’d have the upper hand. Yeah, that’s what he kept telling himself.
“Don’t try to turn this on me Dad…” Jessie said quietly.
“Look jess,” Martin came more into the room, “That’s really not where I’m going.”
“Yeah?” she said, “Then where are we going? Cause it’s not the dance right?”
Martin sighed again, he gave her an opening and she had taken it.
Jesus, having a smart kid was pain in the ass!
Blessings and curses.
“Ok. What did you think was going to happen?” He was going for the full court press, “You put me and your mother against each other, and did you really think there was going to be a way for you to come out on top in that? Did you really think we wouldn’t figure that out?”
He sighed, “Jessica, you’re a smart girl what were you thinking?”
Jessie looked him straight in the eyes. Her expression didn’t change, her eyes did not move.
Not a good sign.
“I was thinking that my Dad would stick up for me.”
Note to self, Martin thought, next life. Dogs, and Cats, or maybe Fish yeah fish were good, they didn’t talk back.
“Damn it Jess, that’s just not fair, you don’t see the big picture, you don’t understand…”
Oh, I don’t understand? Is that it? Well let me give it a try Daddy. I think it goes something like this…“
She cleared her throat.
Martin really didn’t like where this was going.
“I think it went something like this: She just wants to grow a little bit?”
Jessie said, “Oh she has, just no dates?”
Jessie sat up on her bed, her eyes ablaze.
“So it’s okay if I’m grown up enough, and smart enough, to place in the top 4 percent of the country in math and science, and to skip me a grade. That’s just fine. But when I want to go to the dance it’s all, hold on there missy, cool your jets! Is that it?!”
“They call me ‘baby’ they call me ‘brainiac’ the only thing they hardly ever call me is Jessica Daddy, the teachers call me Ms. Darlan because, they think it’s cute! For once, just for once it was starting to be Jessie. But you know what, after I’m not at the dance tonight? It’s going to go back to being ‘baby’ and ‘brainiac’ again, thanks a lot.”
“Look Kitten,” Martin began, when he was at loss for words he always went back to his pet name for her, “I’m sorry…”
“I’ll say you are.” She shot back.
It was like a gunshot.
It was out of her mouth before she could stop it.
A solid punch to the gut.
And in an instant their relationship was changed.
Forever.
And they both knew it.
“Ok. You want to understand? Understand this.” His voice was quiet, calm, like before a storm. “Me, Martin. Adult. Parent. You, Jessica, Child. Daughter. No Dance. Goodnight.”
He turned opened the door and walked out.
She threw her pirate hat at the closed door. “Jerk!” she shouted.
The door sprung open. Martin standing in it.
“Grounded, two weeks, no TV, no web, home by 7. Bed by 8.” He said, fire in his eyes.
She opened her mouth.
“Want to go for a month?” he said.
She turned back on the bed and buried her head in her pillow.
He shut the door.
He walked down the hall, razor blades in his stomach. He had seen her eyes, she hated him. He had lost his temper and he was more mad at himself than her, he had to face it she was growing up, she was getting older, she was becoming her own person. From now on out, it was just going to get harder.
He loved her.
But right now she sure didn’t love him.
Jessie buried her face in her pillow.
She reached down and turned the music back on.
Loud.
She didn’t want them to hear her crying.
‘Somebody come, and be my friend.”
“And watch the sun till it rains again..”
“Somebody come and play, today…”
Copyright fmyates 2008. All rights reserved
‘Somebody come and play’ copyright Joe raposo 1970. All rights reserved.