(no subject)
*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.
What pisses you off? - Created by ptocheia
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Aren’t you supposed to feel after you kill someone? Isn’t it supposed to bother you? Gnaw at you, knowing that you snuffed out a life. Why doesn’t it bother me? Have I slipped that far away? I feel like I’m falling from grace. I felt nothing as I tortured him. I felt nothing as took his hopes, his dreams, his peace and shredded it to pieces. Nothing. No remorse. No sadness. No glee. Just empty, as fear, agony, and death entered his eyes. It meant nothing to me that, the man was terrified. It meant nothing to me, that this man suffered. His pleading only infuriated me. It was weak… I hate weakness. When did this start? When did I lose myself? Is this what mother wanted? I can’t remember anymore. All that time I was left alone… all that time I was starving… all that time I was fighting… I was forgetting. I can’t remember who I was. I can’t remember what it was like to feel something other than rage, aggression, pain… fear. I need to decide. I need to choose where to take my destiny. I feel like my hands are bound, I have but one way to travel. I do feel like I need to do something important. I am getting so close to leaving everything behind, but I still feel there should be something left for me to accomplish in order to be satisfied when closing this long and strenuous chapter of my life.I am not sure what is real anymore. I am trying very hard to be alone which is not easy for me. Don’t think I really have before honestly. I haven’t been able to sleep anymore either. Time is lost to me. I am starting to get sick, physically and emotionally. All the shit that happened to me while I was in pain is coming back to me. And none of it is good. I think something is watching after me at times, because I honestly should not be alive.I don’t know where to turn anymore, every direction seems to have a dark road I must go through, just not sure which one has the sun at the end of it, or if there is even one at the end.